中式英语之鉴中文版P175-P187

P175-P187——牛睿译 反对“疫病” 正如我们在第一章所看到的,如果一个名词是空洞的或多余的,就可以简单地将其删除。然而,如果它承载的意义的一个必要元件,译者就必须找到其他的方式处理它。 通常的解决办法是转变名词的词性。接下来我们来看看转变词性的三种方式。如果这三种都不可行,下面还有一个有效的方法可以选用。 1、用动词提代名词 这是最常用也是最先可以考虑使用的策略。我们在第一章的开始就已经反复使用这个方法来处理“多余的动词+名词结构”(“make an improvement”= “improve”)这个方式还适用于很多情况。例如: A: Adherence to Marxism is vital to China, and so is adherence to socialism. B: It is vital for us to adhere to Marxism and socialism. (坚持马克思主义和社会主义是至关重要的。) A: otherwise, there can be no achievements in our work B: otherwise, we can achieve nothing (否则,我们将一事无成) A: such behavior on the part of leading cadres will encourage extravagance B: if leading cadres behave that way, they will encourage extravagance (领导干部的如此行为方式将会带动铺张浪费) A: reading of newly published materials is also important B: it is also important to read newly published materials (阅读最新发布的也是很重要的) 2、用动名词替代名词 回忆你所学过的语法知识,动名词是动词的“-ing”形式作名词。上文的例子中,“reading”就是动名词,副标题中的“replacing”也是动名词。 动名词同时具有动词和名词的词性。就像名词一样,也会显得多余和尴尬,所以我们将“reading”变为“to read”。但动名词也继承了其根动词的优点。动名词可以像动词一样赋予呆板又毫无生气的句子以活力。而且像动词一样,动名词也可以阐明意义,需要作者写出主语或者直接宾语,也就是说,明白地说出是谁在做什么。 由于这些原因,用动名词替代名词是很有用的,比如下面的这些例子: A: economic revitalization will be an arduous task B: revitalizing the economy will be an arduous task (经济复苏将是一项艰巨的任务) A: the company began its issuance of 100 million foreign currency B shares yesterday B: the company began issuing 100 million foreign currency B shares yesterday (该公司昨天开始发行1亿外汇B股) A: we shall transform the national bourgeoisie through cooperation with it B: we shall transform the national bourgeoisie by cooperating with it (我们应该通过合作来改造民族资产阶级) A: we have to concentrate our efforts on agricultural reinforcement B: we have to concentrate on strengthening agriculture [Review: "Efforts" was eliminated because it is understood in "concentrate."] (我们要集中力量促进农业生产) 【注:删掉“efforts”是因为“concentrate”已经包含这层意思。】 3、用形容词或副词替代名词 有时,用一个形容词(或者一个动词和形容词)或者仅用一个副词来替代名词就可以达到不错的效果: A: this accounts for the unsoundness in organization of these enterprises B: this accounts for the poor organization of these enterprises (这导致这些企业的组织不力) A: silk undershirts are rich in elasticity B: silk undershirts are (highly) elastic (丝绸的汗衫有很大的弹力(弹性很好)) A: facts will prove the correctness of these policies B: facts will prove that these policies are correct (事情会证明这些政策是正确的) A: we must guard against blindness in action B: we must guard against acting blindly [Note that the second noun, "action," has been replaced by the gerund "acting."] (我们必须防止盲目行动) 【注意动名词“acting”替代了A句中第二个名词“action”。】 可选:“解释出来” 有时名词结构很简明扼要或者语义含糊,所以会需要变换多种形式来才能形成一句意思明了的英语。这种情况下,译者可能要引入一些新词来“解释出”其意义: A: The practice of indiscriminate abolition tallies with neither Mao Zedong Thought nor the scientific method. B: Abolishing all rules indiscriminately is not consistent either with Mao Zedong Thought or with the scientific method. [Review: "The practice of" is only a useless category noun.] (任意废除任何规章与毛泽东思想和科学方法。) 【注:“the practice of”在这里是没有意义的类别名词。】 A: A Beijing computer newspaper even makes the point that China is entering a PC era that is going to be characterized by the dominance of national brands. B: A Beijing computer newspaper even makes the point that China is entering a PC era in which national brands will dominate the market. (北京某电脑报提出,中国正要进入一个由国产品牌主导市场的PC(个人电脑)时代。) A: Can anyone imagine that Hong Kong is free from obstacles or sabotaging forces? B: Can anyone imagine that there are no forces in Hong Kong that might engage in obstruction or sabotage? (谁能想象没有阻碍和破坏香港的势力存在?) A: it is important to give full scope to the role of experts B: it is important to take full advantage of the knowledge and abilities of experts (充分利用专家的知识和能力储备是很重要的) 当然,任何时候你要在英文版本里添加一个在中文版本里并不明确的单词时,你必须要特别小心,保证你对原文的解释是正确的。 “疫病”的特殊形式 过度使用名词中有一种特殊的形式需要特别考虑。把名词当作形容词使用修饰其他名词是一种趋势。 名词作形容词使用 首先,应该承认,英语中名词作形容词使用是完全合理的。没有比直接说“an army officer”(军官),“the street corner(街角)”,“drug addiction(毒瘾)”,“an income tax(所得税)”更加自然的了。这样简洁的词组意义一目了然。没有人会认为有必要使用介词来对这些词组进行修改:"an officer in the army," "the corner of the street," "addiction to drugs," or "a tax on income." 没有等效形容词可用时,就可以很简单地以这种方式使用较长的名词。"Government department," "application form," "university education," "television set,"以及许多其他这样的词组就不会比刚刚提到的尴尬或难以理解。 但是,这不意味着你就可以随意地用既定名词修饰其他名词。除了像上面提到的外界所熟悉的组合之外,其他的要谨慎使用。大多情况下,名词不作形容词使用时,句子会更清楚流畅。 以下面这个句子为例: -The method of work evaluation and workpoints allotment should be changed. —工作评估和工分分配方法应该要改革。 这里用"work"修饰"evaluation",用"workpoints"修饰"allotment" 会让读者的阅读暂时停顿。因为这些不是读者常见的组合形式,实际上每组中隐含着的是形容词加名词的结构,这种并不自然的词序放慢了读者的理解速度。 简而言之,一般会这样说: -The method of evaluating work and allotting workpoints should be changed. 这个版本里,"work" 和"workpoints"很明显是"evaluating" 和"allotting”的直接宾语,而且这样说明可以加快读者的阅读速度。 两个名词作形容词使用 如果两个名词所组成的一个复合形容词的意义容易掌握的话,那么这样的用法也是可以接受的。比如,我们没必要把"a hospital maternity ward(产科病房)"写成"a ward set aside for the care of maternity cases in a hospital"。还有很多像这样的熟为人知的组合:"water conservancy project(水利工程)","malaria eradication campaign(根除疟疾运动)","minority nationality area(少数民族地区)," "Peking opera company(京剧公司)"等等。 三个或三个以上名词作形容词 特殊情况下,三个名词组成的复合形容词也是可以理解的。大概不会有读者会不明白"a State Planning Commission document(国家委员会的文件)"。大写字母把复合形容词的每个单词连在一起作为一个组织的名称,从而避免混淆。 但这是例外情况。一般情况下使用一个或两个名词构成的形容词来修饰另一个名词。 像"lung cancer(肺癌)" "cancer research(癌症研究)" "research project(研究项目)" and "project design(项目设计)"都是常用的而且意思明了的词组。文章中这些词组经常会出现,甚至我们直接说"lung cancer research"也不会影响读者的阅读速度。但这不代表我们可以直接写"the lung cancer research project design"。为了听起来舒服,我们要用"the design of the research project on lung cancer"这种更明确的说法。 像这么长的复合修饰语在中式英语中也很常见。通常情况下,复合修饰语由没有介词或其他连接词连接的几个名词(或名词加形容词)串起来。用功的读者会不厌其烦地研究像"the lung cancer research project design"这样的序列,最后可能会明白作者真正要表达的是什么。 但像"State key protection relic sites"这样的序列又是什么意思呢?有人可以说出是哪个修饰哪个吗?或者这些sites是什么呢? 下面的是在中国的外文出版物中出现过的名词串: -power supply business regions - 电源商务区 -China's conformity assessment system - 中国的合格评定制度 -1998 China Daily Newspaper Group Subscription Consultancy Day -1998中国日报报业集团认购咨询日 -China's first National Urban Construction Archive Sector Achievements Expo - 中国首个全国城市建设档案机构成果博览会 最后一个例子中,词串中不但有名词也有形容词("first," "National," "Urban")。但是即使是这样,像这种高度压缩的词组还是有人可以猜出它的意思。 The reason that strings of nouns appear so often in draft translations is, of course, that they are literal renderings of the original. Chinese characters are commonly juxtaposed without written links, and Chinese readers readily understand the invisible connections between them. But carried over into English, the pattern is both awkward and ambiguous, when it is not simply incomprehensible.(组织不出语言) 避免把名词用作形容词 如果一个名词作形容词使用的结构很难理解,那么译者就应该修改句子以阐明单词之间的联系。下面是三个主要的方法,如果这些都行不通的话,可以用第四个方法。 1、这种构词方式就想其他名词“疫病”的表现形式一样。如果由两个或三个名词构成复合形容词,其中一个名词可以变为其它词性。下面是一些例子,第一个是上面出现过的: A: The method of work evaluation and workpoints allotment should be changed. B: The method of evaluating work and allotting workpoints should be changed. [In this instance, the second noun of each pair—the one being modified—was changed to a gerund. "Work" and "workpoints" then automatically found their normal places as direct objects.] 【这句话中,每组中第二个被修饰名词变为动名词。"Work" and和"workpoints"则自动变为直接宾语。】 A: measures adopted by local governments in soil erosion control include the following B: measures adopted by local governments to control soil erosion include the following (当地政府采取了以下措施治理水土流失) [Here again, the noun being modified was changed, this time to a verb. As a result, "soil erosion" followed naturally as the direct object of "control."] 【这里是变被修饰名词为动词,使"soil erosion"变为"control."的直接宾语。】 A: the Party's expanded leadership capacity in struggles B: the Party's expanded capacity to lead struggles (党的扩张能力领导斗争) [In this instance, it was the noun being used as an adjective that was changed to a verb. This put the three ideas "leadership," "capacity" and "struggles" in their normal English order, making the relations between them instantly understandable.] 【这个例子中把作形容词使用的名词变为动词,使"leadership," "capacity" 和"struggles"这三个词回归正常的英文语序,使得表达的意思一目了然。】 A: "Most of the technology transformation should be placed under the control of the market," Lu said. B: "Most of the technological transformation should be placed under the control of the market," Lu said. (陆说:“大部分的技术改革都应该放在市场控制下。”) [Here again, it was the noun being used as an adjective that was changed, this time to the corresponding true adjective.] 【这里是把作形容词使用的名词变为其对应的形容词。】 某些情况下,把名词变为其它词性也会用来拆开较长的名词(或名词加形容词)序列: A: China's meteorological system modernization drive B: China's drive to modernize its meteorological system (中国决心把气象系统现代化) A: the reform of the science and technology management system B: the reform of the system for managing science and technology (科学技术管理制度改革) A: the State assets management institutions B: the institutions responsible for managing State assets (国有资产管理局) 第一例子中将名词变为动词,第二个和第三个例子中将名词变为动名词,词组中的其他名词则变为直接宾语。这样,无差别的一串名词就变为了语法上相关联的部分。 2、某些两个或三个名词的结构可以引用一个介词连接这几个词: A: during the economic recovery period in the early 1950s B: during the period of economic recovery in the early 1950s (20世纪50年代初的经济复苏时期) A: scientific and technological experts now take part in economic and social policy decisions B: scientists and technicians now take part in decisions on economic and social policy (现在科学家和技术人员参与经济和社会政策的决策) A: research topic selection should also be guided by the market B: the selection of research topics should also be guided by the market (研究课题的选择也应该由市场引导) 这个方法有时也可以用来拆开名词串。只要插入适当的介词,很长的一串名词也能一目了然: A: Golmud is an important personnel and materials transfer center B: Golmud is an important center for the transfer of personnel and materials (格尔木是一个重要的人员和物资转移中心) A: Wan Wenpeng, leader of the provincial drug abuse control consultancy expert group B: Wan Wenpeng, leader of the province's group of expert consultants on the control of drug abuse (万文鹏,省药物滥用管制咨询专家组组长) [Note that the abstract "consultancy" was changed to concrete "consultants."] 【注:抽象名词"consultancy(咨询)"变为具象名词"consultants(顾问)"。】 A: the China Foreign Experts Employment Contract Disputes Arbitration Commission B: China's Commission for Arbitration of Contract Disputes with Foreign Experts (中外专家劳动争议仲裁委员会)