[INT GRAND CENTRAL STATION, Serena walks in, a girl watches her and takes a photo with her cell phone]
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here... and I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Serena van der Woodsen. Was it only a year ago our It-Girl mysteriously disappeared for quote 'boarding school'? And just as suddenly she's back. Don't believe me? See for yourselves: Lucky for us, Melanie91 sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Mel!
[Rufus takes a look around the station and finds his son and daughter, he walks up and hugs them]
Rufus
Dan, Jenny! Over here!
Jenny
Hey, dad!
Rufus
Hey, hey! You made it. Welcome back! How was your weekend? How was your mom?
Dan
She's fine.
Jenny
Good... fine, I guess.
Dan
She's good and fine.
Rufus
Like 'Maybe I should never have left Manhatten' fine or 'Taking a time-out from my marriage was the best idea I've ever had' fine?
Dan
Dad, you know... I'm starving.
Rufus
Let's go home. I'm cooking. Caprese salad with a little mozzarella di Bufala... yeah, I'm gonna make you guys...
[Rufus puts an arms around Jenny and they walk off, Dan turns around and notices Serena]
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Spotted: Lonely Boy... can't believe the love of his life has returned. If only she knew who he was. But everyone knows Serena. And everyone is talking.
[EXT NEW YORK - Several people are standing in the streets, looking at the newest 'Gossip Girl' entry on their cell phones]
Gossip Girl
Wonder what Blair Waldorf thinks. Sure, they're BFFs but we always thought Blair's boyfriend Nate had a thing for Serena.
[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - BATHROOM - Blair takes a look at a new text message: 'Serena is Back!!', she leaves the bathroom and rejoins a party, her mother, Eleanor, is talking to a friend]
Eleanor
...I have to design a dress for this woman.
[Eleanor turns to Blair]
Eleanor
Blair, if you're gonna to wear one of my designs tell me about it so we can at least get it properly fitted.
Blair
Thanks, mom. Keep that in mind. Great party.
[Eleanor turns back to her friend]
Eleanor
She is my best advertisement.
[Nate, his father, Howie, and another guest are standing together]
Party Guest
So, Nate, started thinking about college?
Howie
Well, actually I'm a Dartmouth man.
Nate
Yes, dad's always spoken very highly of Dartmouth. But I would like to check out west. You know, maybe USC, UCLA?
Howie
His mother wouldn't hear of it. Dartmouth is far enough away for her.
Nate
Yes, well... Dartmouth is my first choice.
[Blair walks up to her boyfriend, Nate, and his father, also called 'The Captain']
Blair
Excuse me, captain. Nate, can I borrow you?
Nate
Eh, sure. Excuse me for a second.
[Chuck, a friend of Nate's is sitting on the couch with Isabel and Katy]
Chuck
Nathaniel, any interest in some fresh air?
[Chuck signals Nate that he wants to smoke a joint with him]
Nate
When I get back?
Blair
If he gets back!
[Blair leads Nate into her bedroom and pushes him onto the bed]
Nate
What's going on?
Blair
I wanna do this... It... Now.
Nate
Now now? You wanted to wait...
Blair
Not anymore.
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock's ticking.
[Chuck plays with his drink, looking bored, Isabel and Katy are reading their text mesages]
Katy
My god, you'll never believe what's on 'Gossip Girl'.
Isabel
Someone saw Serena get off a train at Grand Central.
Chuck
Good, things were getting a little... dull around here.
[EXT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - The doorman opens the door of a town car, Serena gets out]
Serena
Thank you.
[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair and Nate are kissing on the bed, undressed]
Blair
I love you. Nate Archiblaid. Always have, always will.
Nate
I love you too.
[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Serena walks in and gets noticed by Eleanor]
Eleanor
Serena van der Woodsen? Is that you?
[Eleanor knocks on the door]
Eleanor
Blair, it's Serena!
Nate
Serena?
Blair
Serena is at school. Kiss me.
Nate
No, I think I heard your mom say she's here. Don't you wanna go say hey?
[Nate gets of the bed and starts getting dressed]
Blair
Yeah... totally.
[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Serena is walking through the party guest who start talking behind her back]
Party Guests
...I heard she is pregnant... rehab... she looks good...
[Serena walks up to her mother, Lily, who is talking to a friend]
Lily
So I told him: Forget it, I don't care if it's mahogany. It clashes with my sofa.
Serena
Mom... mom! Hey.
Lily
Oh, Serena, darling.
[They hug each other]
Serena
So, were is he? What, they haven't let him out yet?
Lily
Let's not discuss this right now, ok? I thought you might want to see some of your friends.
Serena
Thanks.
[Serena notices Nate on the other side of the room, Blair opens her bedroom door and walks into the room, blocking Nate from Serena's view, Serena and Blair hug]
Blair
Hi, Serena, so good to see you.
Serena
Good to see you.
Blair
Come, we're about to have dinner.
Eleanor
I'll set a place for you at the table next to Blair.
Serena
Yeah, actually... there's somewhere I have to go.
Blair
You're leaving?
Serena
Yeah, I just... I don't feel well. I just wanted to come by and say hi. I'll see you at school tomorrow.
[Serena leaves the party]
Blair
School... so I guess she's back for good.
Katy
Didn't you know she was coming?
Blair
Course I did. I just... wanted it to be a surprise.
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Word is that S bailed on B's party in under 90 seconds and didn't even have one lemon shot. Has our bad girl really gone good? Or is it all just part of the act?
[INT OSTROFF CENTER - Serena walks in, passes the nurse's station and looks into a patient's room]
Nurse
Young lady, you can't be here. Visting hours are over.
Serena
I'm family. He's my brother.
[INT HOME OF THE HUMPREYS - DAN'S BEDROOM - Dan is looking at the blog of 'Gossip Girl']
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Why'd she leave? Why'd she return? Send me all the deepth. And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. The only one. XOXO Gossip Girl.
END OF TEASER
[INT OSTROFF CENTER - ERIK'S ROOM - Serena's brother, Erik, finds Serena sleeping on a chair next to his bed and wakes her up]
Erik
Serena... Serena, hey.
Serena
Hey, how are you?
Erik
You know, I've been better.
Serena
Erik, I know I've been a terrible sister. I'm so happy to see you.
Erik
Must be a lot of rumour why you're back.
Serena
Yeah, but none of them mentioned you.
Erik
Just like mom wants, hm?
[Lily enters]
Lily
What do I want, baby? For Serena sleeping in her own bed, possibly wearing pyjamas.
Serena
Morning, mom. Hey, I was just about to ask the doctor if I could take Erik to breakfast. Wanna come?
Lily
Ehm, I think what I'll do is to get him a croissant down the street.
[Lily leaves the room, Serena storms after her]
Erik
Serena, don't!
Serena
Let me guess: You told everyone Erik is just visiting grandpa in Rhode Island.
Lily
Your aunt Carol in Miami.
Serena
So, you're actually hiding him. He tries to take his own life and you're worried it will cost you 'Mom Of The Year'?
Lily
Serena, you've been gone. Doing who knows what with god knows who...
Serena
I told you, boarding school was not like that.
Lily
As happy as I am to have you home, you have no idea what it's been like.
[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - KITCHEN - Jenny organizes handwritten invitations, Rufus is making breakfast, Dan walks in]
Rufus
Guess who's dad is cool!
Jenny
It's a trick question.
Dan
Yeah, 'cause it can't be ours.
Rufus
Look at this!
[Rufus hands Dan an issue of 'Rolling Stone', Dan reads the front page]
Dan
'Top 10 Forgotten Bands Of The '90s'.
Rufus
Yeah, check out who's number nine.
Jenny
He is very proud.
Dan
Hey, hey way to be forgotten!
Rufus
But that's how you get remembered.
Jenny
Maybe you'd care if dad's band was on 'Gossip Girl'.
Dan
What? I don't read 'Gossip Girl'. That's... that's for chicks.
Jenny
So that wasn't your laptop you've been to last night to read all about Serena van der Woodsen.
[Dan takes the magazine from Rufus]
Dan
Holy stone, wow! Let me take a look at this again, dad. Very cool, looking hot, number nine!
Rufus
Hey, what are you working on?
Jenny
It's called the 'Kiss On The Lips' party. Everyone's going.
Dan
You're invited to that?
[Jenny stares at Dan]
Dan
Well, no offense if I sound surprised... since I've never been invited.
Jenny
One of the girls in my art class saw my calligraphy and she said that if I addressed all the invitations that I got one.
Rufus
Sounds very fair. Sweatshops could learn a thing or two.
Jenny
Dad, this is not a platform for me to end capitalization. That's why you make us go to private schools.
Rufus
That's for your education.
Jenny
So we should be anonymous losers who eat lunch alone and never get invited to parties?
Dan
Works for me.
Jenny
Mom thinks it's a good idea.
Rufus
And her judgment is always sound, right? Jenny, if you wanna go to that party you should go. You kids could use some fun.
[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Serena walks up to the front entrance, Nate is already waiting for her]
Serena
Nate?
Nate
Oh, hey! Uhm, your mom told me you guys are staying here at The Palace.
Serena
Yeah, we're renovating... again. You know my mom: If it's not broke, break it. So what are you doing here?
Nate
Oh, I just wanted to see how you were. You seemed kind of upset last night.
Serena
I got to get going and change for school. I'm gonna be late.
Nate
Serena...
Serena
No, no.
Nate
But you're back now.
Serena
I didn't come back for you. Look, Blair's my best friend and you're her boyfriend and she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be.
[EXT NEW YORK CITY - Dan runs across the street to catch his bus to school]
Taxi Driver
Hey, watch were you're going!
[INT BUS - Chuck and Nate are sitting next to each other, Dan is standing in the alley]
Chuck
Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection... it needs to be violated.
Nate
You are deeply disturbed.
Chuck
And yet you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance...
Nate
I have a girlfriend.
Chuck
You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate
Who says 'seal the seal'?
[Chuck signals Nate that they have arrived at school]
Chuck
Come on.
[They get up, Dan is standing behind them, Chuck turns to Dan]
Chuck
You following us or something?
Dan
No, I... I go to your school. Identical uniforms, that's kind of a tip-off?
Nate
That's funny.
[Chuck and Nate leave the bus, Dan talks to himself]
Dan
So you guys wanna sit together at lunch?
[EXT MET - Blair, Isabel and Katy are sitting on the steps looking at the invitations, Jenny is standing next to them]
Isabel
So cute! They should be framed or something.
Blair
Not bad work. And here is yours... as promised.
[Blair hands Jenny one of the invitations]
Jenny
Thanks.
[Serena walks up to them, eating a yoghurt]
Serena
Hey, here you guys are. I looked all over the dining hall for you.
[Serena notices Jenny and shakes her hand]
Serena
Oh, hi, I'm Serena.
Jenny
I know, uhm, I mean, hi, I'm Jenny.
[Serena picks up one of the invitations]
Serena
So, when's the party?
Blair
Saturday. And you're kinda not invited. Since until 12 hours ago everyone thought you were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.
Jenny
Uhm, actually...
Blair
You can go now.
[Jenny leaves]
Blair
Sorry.
Serena
No, it's ok. I've got a lot of stuff to do anyway.
[Serena throws the invitation onto the steps]
Blair
Well, we should get going then. Unless you want us to wait for you. Looks like you got a lot of yoghurt left.
Serena
No, go ahead.
[Blair, Isabel and Katy walk away, Serena turns around]
Serena
Blair, think we can meet tonight?
Blair
I'd love to but I'm doing something with Nate tonight.
Serena
The Palace, 8 o'clock. Nate will wait.
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Spotted: At the steps of the Met, an S and B power struggle.
Blair
I can probably do a half hour.
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Did S think she could waltz home and things would be just like they were?
Serena
Thanks for making the time.
Blair
Your my best friend.
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Did B think S would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There's nothing 'Gossip Girl' likes more than a good catfight. And this could be a classic.
[EXT NEW YORK CITY - Rufus is putting up flyers for a concert of his band 'Lincon Hawk', Dan is with him]
Dan
Uh, you know... you know, dad, there's this thing called 'myspace' where you post all this information online. Save some trees, have a blog.
Rufus
Maybe if musicians would get off their blogs and picked up their guitars then music business would be in better shape.
Dan
Ok, like a true relic.
Rufus
Thanks, son.
[Dan's cell phone rings, he takes a look at the new text message: Jenny (Mobile), Sep 24, 2007, 3:15:23 PM, HELP: EMERGENCY. 712 5TH AVE.]
Dan
Hey dad, listen, uhm, I got to run. You'll be ok?
Rufus
Yeah. You'll mom will be back. She's always been a free spirit. That's one of the reasons I fell for her in the first place.
Dan
I meant with the flyers.
Rufus
Luckily, staple guns are old-school. Go, I'm gonna be fine.
[INT OSTROFF CENTER - ERIK'S ROOM - Serena walks in]
Serena
I talked to the nurse and I'm kidnapping you.
Erik
We're going shopping, aren't we.
Serena
We're going to Wendells... just for an hour though, I swear. I had a really bad day.
Erik
Really? 'Cause I had a great day: A couple of pills, bunch of Rorschach tests... they had this green jelly for lunch.
Serena
Mmh, yummy! Why didn't you save me any? Come on, we need to get you out of here before mom shows up.
[INT WENDELLS - DEPARTMENT STORE - Dan walks up to Jenny who's trying on a red dress]
Dan
Jenny, what is it? What is wrong?
Jenny
Do you like this on me?
Dan
Wait... wait a second, is that why you needed me? I thought this was an emergency.
Jenny
A fashion emergency. I mean, come on, I've never been to a big dance before.
Dan
Neither have I.
Jenny
Yeah, but mom's gone and dad's allergic to department stores.
Dan
Well, you look good, Jen. You do, really.
Jenny
Thanks. I'm mean, too bad it's more than our rent but I think I can sew something like it.
[Jenny notices Serena and Erik walking towards them]
Jenny
Oh my gosh, it's Serena. Hi, Serena!
[Jenny takes an invitation adressed to 'Serena van der Woodsen' out of her bag, Dan panics and vanishes]
Serena
Hey. Hey, Jenny, right?
Jenny
Yeah.
Serena
This is my...
Erik
Stylist and personal shopper. Erik, hi.
Jenny
Hi, uhm, this is my brother... or...
[Jenny gestures behind her, notices Dan is gone, Dan is hiding behind a rack of dresses, watching Serena]
Serena
So is this your dress for the 'Kiss On The Lips' party?
Jenny
Sort of. Speaking of that.
[Jenny gives Serena the invitation]
Jenny
Here, I made you one during free period but anyone asks where you got it, I know nothing.
Serena
Thanks.
[Serena and Erik walk away]
Jenny
Dan, Dan?
[Serena turns around]
Serena
Jenny, that dress would look even better in black.
Jenny
Black. Cool. Thanks.
[EXT NEW YORK - PARK - Chuck and Nate are taking a walk, smoking a Joint]
Chuck
This is some good stuff.
Nate
Yeah, I'm gonna need it. Blair's mom's at the country house.
Chuck
Yeah? Then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's viagra? Or my mom's paxils? Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfiend. It's like you're heading to your execution.
Nate
No, man. I'm good.
Chuck
Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever, all of a sudden there is a problem?
Nate
There is no problem. It's just... do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna... end up like our parents?
Chuck
Man, that's a dark thought.
Nate
You know, aren't we entitled to choose... just to be happy?
Chuck
Look, easy, Sokrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund... maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem. Happiness does not seem to be on the menue. So smoke up and seal the deal with Blair... 'cause you're also entitled to tab that ass.
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Serena and Blair are sitting at the bar, Blair is drinking a Martini]
Serena
So, how's your mom doing... with the divorce and everything?
Blair
Great. So my dad left her for another man. She's lost 15 pounds, got an eye-lift. It's been good for her.
Serena
I'm really sorry.
Blair
Yeah, I could tell since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening.
Serena
No, I know... I was just... boarding school... it's like...
Blair
I don't even know why you went to boarding school to begin with. Do you know how it felt, calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say: Serena didn't tell you that she moved to Connetticut?
Serena
I just... I had to go. I needed to get away from everything. Please just trust me.
Blair
How can I trust you when I feel like I don't even know you.
Serena
Let's fix that. I saw you at school with Katy and Is and I get it. I don't want to take any of that away from you. I just...
Blair
Because it's just yours to take if you want it?
Serena
No, that's not what I mean. I... I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. You know, walking to school togheter, dancing on tables at Bungalow, the nights when we were at your mom's country house. You were like my sister... and with our families... we need each other.
Blair
Well, you missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf melt-downs. If it wasn't such a tragedy it would have been funny. Actually kinda was.
Serena
Well, I wish I could have been there.
Blair
You are now. I have to meet Nate. I kind of have something special and...
Serena
Well, I don't want to keep you but...
[Serena hugs Blair]
Serena
I love you, B.
Blair
I love you too, S.
[Blair leaves]
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Spotted: At The Palace Hotel, S and B having a heart to heart.
[Serena takes Blair's left over Martini and emptys it in one gulp]
Gossip Girl (Voice Over)
Hmm, why so thirsty, S? You may have won over B for now but we still think you're hiding something.
[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - JENNY'S ROOM - Jenny is sitting at the sewing machine, Dan enters]
Dan
Hey!
Jenny
Ah, the invisible man returns. You know, I really had no idea you could move that fast.
Dan
Yeah, well, your fashion emergency was solved, so... I figured my work was done.
Jenny
Come on, Dan. Serena said hi to you at her 9th grade birthday party and you've never forgotten it.
Dan
How could I? She was the only person who spoke to me. And I'm pretty sure she thought I was someone else.
Jenny
Well, you know, she is actually nice. And if she did know you I think she would really like you.
Dan
I don't know, I think she would be a tad overwhelmed by the glitz and the glamour of the Humphrey lifestyle.
Jenny
Well, I heard she's living at The Palace Hotel.
Dan
Well, my point exactly.
Jenny
Probably sitting at the bar by herself, sipping Martinis... all alone. You know, it's actually kinda sad. Oh, and dad's at the gallery working late. He left money for dinner, so I was thinking Indian.
Dan
You know... you know what, I think I'm... I'm gonna go out.
[Dan leaves]
Jenny
Ok... good, 'cause I already ordered and only got enough for one.
[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Chuck enters, shoves some women aside]
Chuck
Hello, please.
[Chuck walks over to Serena who is having another Martini]
Chuck
I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena
A