学位英语主课文Hidden College Costs Roommate Conflict隐藏的大学费用(成本)室友冲突

学位英语主课文Hidden College Costs Roommate Conflict隐藏的大学费用(成本)室友冲突 Hidden College Costs: Roommate Conflict隐藏的大学费用(成本):室友冲突 Parents, if you're already reeling from the costs of today’s college education, take a deep ,如果你们已经因为当今的大学教育费用眩晕,深吸一口气。 According to one breath. 父母 expert, 根据一位专家的说法, if your kids lack conflict resolution skills, 如果你的孩子缺乏解决 冲突的技巧(方法),it could end up costing you even more.它最终的结局可能会花费你更多(的 钱)。 "Students who can't handle conflict run into trouble with roommates almost immediately," “不能处理冲突的学生几乎立刻和室友陷入麻烦,”said Susan Fee(人名) who is the author of My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate From Hell (书名)."They avoid the issue rather than deal it, 他们避免这个问,而 不是处理, causing increased stress, (引发)导致压力增大, lower grades, 成绩降低, and additional moving and housing expenses,和额外的(移动、搬家)和住房支出费用" said Fee, who is a licensed professional counselor. 有执照的专业顾问。She said students who focus only on academic success do so at the expense of other life skills.那些只专注于学术成功的学生这样做 是以其他生活技能为代价的。 "Some students have spent so much time studying and fitting in extracurricular activities that they never develop necessary social skills. 一些学生花了很多时间来学习和(找到)适合自己 的课外活动(特长班),以至于他们从不培养必要的社会技能。Well-intentioned parents have become overly-involved in their kids' lives父母的好意已经变得过度涉及到他们孩子的生 活,planning their time, 规划他们的时间and solving their dilemmas. 解决他们的困境 By the time these kids enter college, 等到这些孩子进入大学的时候,they have no confidence in speaking up for themselves, 他们没有信心大声的(没有顾忌的)为自己讲话" said Fee. Another factor leading to trouble adjusting is a sense of entitlement另一个导致调整矛盾的 因素(能够调整自己解决矛盾的因素)是一种优越感(权利感)."It's not uncommon for students to come from homes where they had their own bedroom, bathroom, and TV, 非常常见，学生是来 自这样的家庭,他们有自己的卧室,浴室(卫生间),电视" said Fee. "They have unreasonable expectations about having things their way."他们会有不合情理的期望按自己的方式做事。 The bottom line for parents: 家长的底线(对父母来讲最重要的): Children's poor communication skills can hurt your wallet. 孩子的可怜的沟通技巧会导致伤害你的钱包。Kids who can't get along with their roommates request single dorm rooms,那些不能和他们的室友相 处的孩子们会请求单宿舍房间, which are not only more costly, but usually unavailable. 这不仅 是更昂贵的,而且通常得不到。 Others move off-campus, 搬出校园transfer to another school 转移到另一个学校(转学), or return home回家. Grades can be affected by the stress causing some students to repeat entire semesters. 成绩会受到压力影响，导致一些学生重复整个学期。 "The ultimate solution is for students to learn how to resolve their roommate differences rather than find ways to avoid them," “最终的解决是让学生学习如何解决他们的室友差异而不 是设法避免它们,” said Fee .She offers these five tips to parents:她给家长提供了这五个窍门: 而不是解决方案。 Telling your child what to do, Offer suggestions, not solutions. 提供建议, or worse, handling the problem yourself , does more harm than good. 告诉你的孩子做什么,或者 处理自己的问题,弊大于利。Conflict resolution is a skill that needs to be practiced and 更糟的是, the more you do for your kids, the longer it will take them to become confident. 冲突解决是一种 技巧,需要去练习,你为你的孩子做的越多，(孩子)变得有自信心需要的时间就越长。Instead, 相反,help them become critical thinkers by imagining scenarios, 帮助他们成为具有批判性思维 的思考者通过想象场景,brainstorming solutions, 头脑风暴的解决方案(动脑筋想办法), and considering possible outcomes and consequences.并考虑可能的结果和后果。 Prepare for conflict. 为冲突做准备。 Students who assume things will be "perfect" get thrown for a loop when they're not. 当他们发现事情并不是像他们认为的那么“完美”，他们就 会大吃一惊(目瞪口呆)。 Conflict is inevitable because people are different. 冲突是不可避免 的,因为人是不同的。 Even best friends should expect to have differences in needs, living habits, stress levels, and communication skills. 即使最好的朋友可能会有不同的需求,生活习惯、压力 水平,和沟通能力。Teach your child that conflict does not have to be negative; .教你的孩子,冲突 不一定是消极的; it's an opportunity to be creative and learn how to problem solve这是一个发挥 创造力和学习如何解决问题的好机会。 Share expectations. 分享期望(期待)。 Roommate contracts are popular today当今室友合 同是很受欢迎的，and many universities require them as a way to get kids talking about their expectations. 而且有很多大学要求签作为让孩子们去谈论各自期望的方式。Even if your child's school does not have formal contracts, 即使你孩子的学校没有正式合同, encourage him to discuss things like sleep and study habits, bills, sharing items, cleaning, and the best times to have visitors. 鼓励孩子讨论诸如睡眠和学习习惯,账单,共用物品,清洁,和访客来的最好时间。 Just like pre-marital counseling, 就像婚前咨询,the more that's discussed upfront, the better the relationship.在之前讨论的越多,关系就越好。 Encourage face-to-face conversations. 鼓励面对面的谈话。More and more, kids today would rather communicate through e-mail, IM, and text messaging rather than talking face-to-face. 越来越多的孩子们,今天宁愿通过电子邮件沟通,即时通讯,短信而不是面对面交谈。Without the benefit of facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, 没有了面部表情、语气(口 气)、肢体语言的好处(优势),messages can be misunderstood. 信息可能被误解。Also, warn kids that gossiping to others instead of talking to their roommate directly only escalates the ,警告孩子,闲聊别人而不是直接与他们的室友交谈，只能使问题升级。 problem.同时 Ask for help. 请求帮助。Residence life staff will help to mediate, 住宿生活管理员将会帮 as long as the student has already tried problem solving face-to-face. 只要学生已经尝试助调解, 面对面解决问题。 (In reality, 在现实中, most students wait to mention there's a problem大多数 学生是等着提一个问题,until they want to move out, 直到他们想搬出去,or at the first sign of trouble, 或者在麻烦刚有一点迹象, they report it to their RA expecting that person to solve it. 他们给他们的RA然后就期待解决问题。) Campus counseling centers are also available for help 校园咨询中心也可以帮助if a roommate is exhibiting signs of mental illness如果一个室友 表现出精神疾病的征兆such as 例如depression抑郁症, substance abuse, 药物滥用or cutting 挖苦人(伤感情的). If nothing else, 如果没有其他的事,a counseling session can help your child learn to better deal with stress and find other ways to manage the situation. 一段时间的心理咨询 可以帮助孩子学会更好地处理压力和找到其他方法来控制局面。