Case1WhilevisitingEgypt,Richard,anengineerfromtheUnitedStates,wasinvitedtoaspectaculardinneratthehomeofanEgyptianfriend.Andwhatadinneritwas!Clearlythehostandhostesshadgoneoutoftheirway(特意不怕麻烦做某事)toentertainhim.Yet,ashewasleavingtheirhomehemadeaspecialefforttothankthemfortheirdinnerandsensedsomethinghesaidwaswrong.Somethingabouthissincerecomplimentswasmisunderstood.Questions:WhywereRichard'ssincerecomplimentsmisunderstoodintheEgyptianfamily?InJapanhehadanevenlesspleasantexperiencethoughhethoughthehadhandleditwell.Anumberofseriousmistakeshadoccurredinaprojecthewassupervising.Whilethefaultdidnotliewithanyoneperson,hewasasupervisorandatleastpartlytoblame.Ataspecialmeetingcalledtodiscusstheproblem,poorRichardmadeanefforttoexplainindetailwhyhehaddonewhathehaddone.Hewantedtoshowthatanybodyinthesamesituationcouldhavemadethesamemistakeandtotacitlysuggestthatheshouldnotbeblamedunduly.Heevenwenttothetroubleofdistributingmaterialswhichexplainedthesituationratherclearly.Andyet,evenduringhisexplanation,hesensedthatsomethinghewassayingordoingwaswrong.WhatwaswronginthewayRichardsdealtwiththeprobleminJapan?EveninEnglandwherehefeltmoreathome,wherehehadnoproblemswithlanguage,thiskindofmisunderstandingoccurred.Hehadbeeninvitedtotaketeawithoneofhiscolleagues,apurelysocial,relaxedoccasion.Teawasservedalongwithsugarandcream.Ashehelpedhimselftosomesugarandcream,heagainsensedhehaddonesomethingwrong.Butwhatwentwrong?WhichbehaviorwasconsideredimproperinEnglandwhenRichardwastakingtea?Analysis:Intheabovecase,thereseemedtobeproblemsincommunicationwithpeopleofdifferentculturesinspiteoftheeffortsmadetoachieveunderstanding.Whatweretheproblems?Andwhydidtheyoccur?WeshouldknowthatinEgyptasinmanycultures,thehumanrelationshipisvaluedsohighlythatitisnotexpressedinanobjectiveandimpersonalway.WhileAmericanscertainlyvaluehumanrelationships,theyaremorelikelytospeakoftheminlesspersonal,moreobjectiveterms.Inthiscase,Richard'smistakemightbethathechosetopraisethefooditselfratherthanthetotalevening,forwhichthefoodwassimplythesettingorexcuse.Forhishostandhostessitwasasifhehadattendedanartexhibitandcomplimentedtheartistbysaying,“Whatbeautifulframesyourpicturesarein.”InJapanthesituationmaybemorecomplicated.ForthisexamplewecansimplysaythatJapanesepeoplevalueorderandharmonyamongpersonsinagroup,andthattheorganizationitself—beitafamilyoravastcorporation—ismorevaluedthanthecharacteristicsofanyparticularmember.WhilethisfeelingisnotalientoAmericans—ortoanysociety—Americansstressindividualityasavalueandareapttoassertindividualdifferenceswhentheyseemjustifiablyinconflictwiththegoalsorvaluesofthegroup.Inthiscase,Richard'smistakewasinmakinggreateffortstodefendhimself.Lettheothersassumethattheerrorswerenotintentional,butitisnotrighttodefendyourself,evenwhenyourunstatedintentistoassistthegroupbywarningothersofsimilarmistakes.Asimpleapologyandacceptanceoftheblamewouldhavebeenappropriate,incontrast,forpoorRichardtohavemerelyapologizedwouldhaveseemedtohimtobesubservient,unmanly.NothinginhisexperiencehadpreparedhimfortheJapanesereaction—infacthehadbeentaughttodespisesuchbehavior.WhenitcomestoEngland,wemightbetemptedtolookforsomenonverbalindiscretion.Whiletherearesomeverysignificantdifferencesinlanguageandlanguagestyle,weexpectfewerproblemsbetweenAmericansandEnglishmenthanbetweenAmericansandalmostanyothergroup.Inthiscasewemightlookbeyondthegestureoftakingsugarorcreamtothevaluesexpressedinthisgesture:forAmericans,“Helpyourself”;fortheEnglishcounterpart,“Bemyguest.”AmericanandEnglishpeopleequallyenjoyentertainingandbeingentertainedbuttheydiffersomewhatinthevalueofdistinction.Typically,theidealguestatanAmericanpartyisonewho“makeshimselfathome,”eventothepointofansweringthedoororfixinghisowndrink.Forpersonsinmanyothersocieties,includingatleastthishypotheticalEnglishhost,suchguestbehaviorispresumptuousorrude.Richardmayobjecttothisexplanation,saying“Inotherwords,Englishpeopleliketostandonceremony”.Ifso,hestilldoesnotunderstand,.AnotheranalogymayhelpRichardtoappreciatethehost'spointofview:AnAmericanguestatanAmericanpartywhowouldrearrangethefurniturewithoutbeingasked,suggestthedinnermenu,andinotherwaysmakehimselfathomealsowouldseemtobepresumptuous.Case2Change:Excuseme,buttheelevatorisoutoforder.Sharon:Really?Whomshouldwetalkto?Chang:Talkto?Sharon:Toreportit.Chang:Ihavenoidea.Sharon:Oh,I'msorry;Ithoughtyoulivedinthisbuilding,too.Chang:ButIdo.Case3KellyandChangareinteractingaboutadinnerinvitation.Kelly,fromtheUnitedStates,possessesarelativelyweakuncertaintyavoidanceindex.Chang:Hey,Kelly,let'sdosomethingtonight.Kelly:Allright.Chang:PleasecomeovertomyhouseandI'llcookdinnerforyou.Kelly:Ihaveinvitedsomefriendsovertomyhousefordinnertonight,butIdon'tknthey'recoming.Chang:Well…assoonasyouknowifthey'recoming.Kelly:Iwon'tknowuntiltonight.Chang:Whattime?Kelly:Iwon'tknowuntiltheycallme.They'llprobablycalllaterthisafternoon.Chang:Howwillyouknowwhetherornottocookenoughforeveryone?Kelly:Oh,I'llmakeupsomethingonthespot.Iliketocook.I'llwhipupsomethingfast.Chang:But…whatiftheydon'tcome?Won'ttheycallandletyouknow?Kelly:No…iftheydon'tcome,I'llknowthatsomethingelsecameupoJknowas'llletsoonasIcan.Chang:Maybeweshouldplanmydinnerforsomeothernight.Case4Mr.Mammen,aChineselivingintheUnitedStates,hastakenhiswifeandfamilytoaverynicerestaurant.Whenhearrivesattherestaurant,heexpectstobeseatedeventhoughhehasnotmadedinnerreservations.Becauseofhissocialstanding,heassumesthathewillbeaccommodated.Mr.Mammen:(Approachesthehost)Host:Goodevening,mayIhelpyou?Mr.Mammen:Yes,mywifeandfamilyareherefordinner.Host:Certainly,yournameplease?Mr.Mammen:IamMr.Mammen.Host:I'msorry,Idon'tseeyournameonourreservationslisting.Mr.Mammen:Idon'thavereservations,butIcanmakethemnow.Host:I'msorry,butthisevening'sdinnerriessceormvaptileotneliystfull.Mr.Mammen:No…Idisagree.Thisrestaurantisnotfull.Iseeemptytables.Host:Yes,butthesetablesarereservedforthosepeoplewhohavereservationforthisevening.Mr.Mammen:Iwillmakereservationsrightnow.Host:I'ms,obrruyttheeveningiscompletelyfull.Mr.Mammen:Icanseethatitisnotfull.Iwanttoseethemanagerrightnow!Iamheretohavedinner!