朋友不靠谱,要如何相处

朋友不靠谱,要如何相处 Having a solid group of friends is undeniably rad1). You have a crew of besties who want to watch The Fault in Our Stars， a pack of girls to cram2) for your exams with， go-to hang-out-and-do-nothing buddies―but that doesn't mean it's always stress-free. As a matter of fact， drama usually (OK， always) finds a way to creep3) in. Raise your hand if you've ever found yourself on the receiving end of4) some mean gossip from within your own circle， or been bailed on5) by a friend who knew you needed her, Everybody, Yeah， us too. Consider this your roadmap for dealing with the types of pals who are particularly difficult. The Flake6) Is your bud a barrel of laughs7)， but impossible to lock down, Then you need to find activities that won't ruin your day if she ends up canceling. If you guys are planning a relaxed afternoon， try a manicure8) date or shopping day instead of grabbing brunch―you can hit the nail salon or your favorite boutique9) alone in case she's a no-show. Planning a night out together, Have her meet at your place for a hang before heading to a friend's party. There's no shame in rolling into10) the fiesta11) solo if she bails， and this way， you still have something on your schedule. 出尔反尔型 你的朋友很有趣，但却做不到说话算数,那么，你需要找那些即便她最后不赴约也不会 毁掉你的一天的活动。如果你们正在过一个放松的下午，那就试试一起去做美甲或是逛 街，而不要约着吃早午餐――万一她放你鸽子，你还可以自己去美甲店或是逛你最喜欢的精 品店。要是约在晚上一起出去呢,那就在去你朋友的派对之前，约她来自己的地盘见面逛一 逛。即使她爽约，你自己一人不慌不忙地过节也没什么丢人的。而且这样的话，你日程中还 能有别的安排(编注:指参加派对)。 毋庸置疑，有个稳固的朋友圈子是件很棒的事。你有一帮朋友想看《星运里的错》，有一 群女伴可以和你一起为考试临时抱佛脚，还有一些小伙伴可以跟你一起无所事事地闲逛，但 这并不意味着一直没有压力。事实上，戏剧性事件常常(好吧，总是)有悄悄降临。如 果你曾发现你的朋友圈里有人平白无故地说你坏话，又或是你的朋友曾经明知道你需要她却 还是背弃了你，不妨举下手。每个人都有过这种经历,是的，我们也一样。那就用下面的方 法来指导你如何与各类特别不靠谱的朋友相处吧～ The Secret Spiller When secrets are your friend's currency12)， it can be tough to eke out13) a good relationship. You can still have positive interactions with someone who's always spilling your (and everyone else's) beans14); you just have to think of this leaky pal as human Twitter. Don't share any stories with her that you wouldn't tweet to the world yourself， and don't reveal any info you wouldn't post publicly. That way， you can maintain your friendship without worrying yourself sick over if you should or shouldn't discuss so-and-so's15) breakup. 大嘴巴型 当你的朋友视秘密为流通货币时，你们就很难勉强维持一段良好的关系了。不过，你仍 然可以跟经常泄露你(和其他所有人)秘密的人保持积极的互动，只是你必须把这个大嘴巴的朋友当成人形推特。不要跟她分享任何你不会发在推特上的事情，也不要透露任何自己不会公开发布的信息。这样，你就可以维持你们的友情，而又无须担心自己会因到底应不应该和她讨论某某人分手的消息而感到厌烦。 The Fair-weather Friend It's tough being close with someone who only wants your chemistry notes or a ride to the big game. If you find yourself fretting16) about whether they're your friend for real or just using you， trust your gut17). When they're asking too much of you， you'll feel it―and when you do， simply say no to their requests. Your friend will realize you have boundaries once you put your foot down18) and treat you more genuinely when they know they can't take advantage of you. But if they don't―and you guys become less tight―you know you rose above19) a crummy20) user. 势利型 如果有人只想借你的化学笔记看看或是搭你的便车去看大型比赛，那就很难跟这样的人保持亲近。要是你发现自己在苦恼到底他们是真把你当朋友还是只是在利用你，相信自己的直觉吧～当他们对你索取太多的时候，你会感觉到的，而当你感觉到时，就直接拒绝他们的要求。只要你态度坚决，你的朋友就会意识到你有自己的底线。他们知道不能利用你时，也就会更加真诚地待你。但如果他们没有改变――而且你们也逐渐疏远了――那你就知道你摆脱了一个只会利用人的朋友。 The Quiet Festerer21) Since communication is one of the main ingredients of a killer friendship， a pal who keeps her feelings bottled up22) can be a tough nut to crack23). Your best bet is to give her enough opportunity to share what she's going through， but never pressure her if she's not ready to talk: make sure she knows you're available， trustworthy， and judgement-free. Yes， you'll have to shoulder the burden of questioning what might be wrong， but if it's something that's really bugging24) her， she'll open up. 压抑沉默型 既然交流是深厚友情的主要构成之一，有一个总是压抑自己想法的朋友就很难办了。最好的选择就是给她足够的机会来倾诉自己的遭遇，但是如果她还没有做好说的准备，永远不要强迫她，要确保让她知道可以找你倾诉，你值得信任，而且也不会评判她。是的，这样你必须肩负起询问可能发生了什么事的担子，但是如果出了真的在困扰着她的事情，她会打开心扉的。 The Real Housewife She's the dramatic one: the girl who talks a whole lot of smack25) and does who-knows-what behind everyone's back. On paper at least， this isn't a true blue26) friend， but we know it can be tough to ditch her when she's your BFF. Don't fret about cutting her out entirely if you still want her in your life―just try your best not to add fuel to the fire. Keep the gossiping to a minimum and (obviously～) don't indulge27) any of her shady28) behavior. You'll see that after you resist a few times， your friend will stop engaging you in her negativity， and it'll be smooth sailing from there on out. 说长道短型 她就是那个充满戏剧性的朋友，制造一大堆的谣言，也不知道她背着大家在捣鼓些什么。 至少理论上这并不是真正可靠的朋友，但是我们知道当她是你最好的朋友时，让你抛弃她可能就很痛苦了。如果你还想把她当成朋友，那就不用为要完全甩掉她而感到苦恼了――只要努力别去火上浇油就行。将这些说长道短的行为控制到最低限度，而且(显然)也不要纵容她任何见不得人的行为。你会发现，在你反对几次之后，你的朋友将不再把你卷入她的负能量中，从那以后一切就会一帆风顺啦～ 1. rad [r?d] adj. <主美口>非常棒的;顶呱呱的 2. cram [kr?m] vi. (为应付考试而)临时抱佛脚 3. creep [kri?p] vi. 悄悄进入，逐渐产生 4. on the receiving end of: 平白遭受，蒙受 5. bail on: 放弃，背弃。bail [be?l] vi. 放弃(一个项目或一段感情等) 6. flake [fle?k] n. 反复无常的人;靠不住的人 7. a barrel of laughs: 有趣的人(或事) 8. manicure [?m?n?kj??(r)] n. 修指甲 9. boutique [bu??ti?k] n. (时装、珠宝等的)专卖店;精品店 10. roll into: 不慌不乱地来到;姗姗来迟 11. fiesta [fi?est?] n. 喜庆日;假日 12. currency [?k?r?nsi] n. 货币 13. eke out: 竭力维持 14. spill one's beans: 泄露(某人的)秘密 15. so-and-so: 某某人 16. fret [fret] vi. 苦恼;烦恼 17. gut [,?t] n. 内心 18. put one's foot down: 坚决反对 19. rise above: 克服;摆脱 20. crummy [?kr?mi] adj. 劣质的;蹩脚的 21. festerer [?fest?r?(r)] n. 使情况恶化的人。fester [?fest?(r)] vi. 逐渐恶化 22. bottle up: 压制，掩饰(不快) 23. a tough nut to crack: [俗]难办的事;难以解决(或理解)的问题 24. bug [b?,] vt. 使烦恼 25. talk smack: 出言毁谤(或谩骂) 26. true blue: 忠贞不渝的;坚定不移的 27. indulge [?n?d?ld?] vt. 纵容;迁就 28. shady [??e?di] adj. 可疑的;见不得人的