商务英语写作七原则

商务英语写作七原则 Chapter 2 7Cs Principle: Completeness and Conciseness 7Cs PPrriinncciippllee 11:: CCoommpplleetteenneesss s 7Cs Principle 2 : Conciseness Completeness Conciseness Consideration Correctness Clarity Courtesy Concreteness 1. 7Cs Principle1: Completeness Keep in mind the following guidelines to write completely 1) Try to answer all questions asked. Whenever you reply to a letter containing one or more questions, try to answer all of them--stated or implied. If you have no information on a precise question at the moment, just say so clearly and sincerely, instead of leaving out the answer.If you have unfavorable news in answer to one or more questions, handle your reply with both tact and honestly. When saying no, be courteous and polite, but firm. Eg.1 We can not deliver the goods until May 1. (poor) We can deliver the goods on May 1. Eg.2 We regret to inform you that we deny your request for credit. For the time being we can only serve you on a cash basis. Dear sirs: Many thanks for your order of October 12. After careful consideration, we have come to the conclusion that it would be better for you to approach another manufacturer for the products you desire. To produce the machine required according to your specifications would mean setting up special equipment at our factory. This would not only be impossible to accomplish before the end of this year, but would seriously interrupt our production schedule. We are sorry not to be more helpful, but hope that you will understand our position. Please contact us again. We will be pleased to serve you in the future. Yours sincerely, 2) Volunteer sth. Extra which, you think, may be of some use to your reader now or in the future. Eg. Do you think it is enough to tell just the prices of the bicycles in the reply? We are one of the most important importers of bicycles in Lagos, Nigeria, and would like to extend our business relations to you. Would you please let us know the prices of your first-rate bicycles available for export to this country? 3) Check for the 5W2H and any other essentials. 5W2H: Who, What, Where, When, Why, How, How much eg. In a letter of ordering goods, we must tell clearly: What(What we want) When(When we need the goods) Whom and Where(to Whom and Where the goods to be sent) How(How payment will be made? How we would like them to be packed and shipped) How much(How much goods do we need) For some letters---especially those that bring bad news, answering the question “why” is of vital importance. A message that answers the question why is more likely to motivate the correspondent to take the desired action than the one that does not explain why. 2. 7Cs Principle 2 : Conciseness Conciseness ------communicating an idea in the fewest words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy. Guidelines to write concisely 1) Omit trite expression eg. Not This But This Please don’t hesitate to write to us Please write us due to the fact that because during the year of 2003 during 2003 in the city of London London in due course soon for the reason that since; because in the event that if this is to advise you 5 wasted words from the point of view of as for a price of $200,000 for $200,000 in accordance with your request as you requested; as requested 2) Avoid wordy statements and unnecessary repetition. Eg.1 I am writing you at this time to enclose in this letter a tentative plan for the forthcoming visit to California by our Director Mr. Nei next August when we might get together to discuss matters of mutual interest. (39) Here is a tentative plan for Mr. Nei’s visit to California next August. (13) eg.2 We hereby wish to let you know that we fully appreciate the confidence you have reposed in our products. (19) We appreciate your confidence in our products. (7) 3) Remove all the irrelevant facts in your message. Major causes of irrelevancy mainly includes: Not coming to the point. Including information obvious to the reader. Using big words to make an impression. Being excessive polite. Making too many unnecessary explanation Not revising the first draft of a long, complicated message eg. We would like to know whether you would allow us to extend the time of shipment for twenty days, and if you would be so kind as to allow us to do so, kindly give us your reply by cable without delay. (better)Please reply by cable immediately if you will allow us to delay the shipment untiL April 21. Chapter 3 7Cs Principle: Consideration and Concreteness 7Cs Principle 3—Consideration Some notable exceptions where you attitude is not suitable Some notable exceptions where you attitude is not suitable 7Cs Principle 4--Concreteness 1) 7Cs Principle 3—Consideration Consideration--you prepare every message with the recipient in mind, trying to put yourself in his place. Suggestions: Use “you”attitude instead of “We” attitude eg. (we attitude) We are happy to have your order for Gentlemen shirts, which we are sending today by CAAC Flight No. 345. (you attitude) Your selection of Gentlemen shirts should reach you by Saturday, as they were shipped today by CAAC Flight No. 345. 2) Some notable exceptions where you attitude is not suitable. When the reader has made a mistake. Eg. (poor) You failed to enclose your pamphlet in the envelope. (better) The envelope we received did not have your pamphlet in it. When the reader has expressed an opinion different from your own. Eg. (poor) You are entirely wrong in your attitude concerning our claim. (better) We’d like to explain in more detail why you are responsible for the loss of our ordered goods. 3) 7Cs Principle 4--Concreteness Concreteness----being specific, definite, and vivid rather than vague and general. Guidelines to write concretely A. Use specific facts and figures Eg1 These brakes stop a car within a short distance. These Type XYZOI power brakes stop a 2.5- ton car travelling 70 miles an hour, within 250 feet. Eg2 We wish to confirm our telegram dispatched yesterday. We confirm our telegram of January 16. Eg3 As requested in your recent letter we have already sent the samples to you. As requested in your letter PH-789 of Feb. 11, we sent you the samples by air parcel on Feb. 18. B. Use verbs of action Put action in verbs instead of nouns or infinitives. * Action hiding in “quiet nouns”: Action in the verb: We will give a favorable consideration to your suggestions. We will consider your suggestions favorably. They have made their first installment They have paid their first installment for the goods payment for the goods. The contract has stiptlation that….. The contract stipulates that…. The function of the ministry is to regulate The ministry regulates and supervise the the foreign trade and to supervise the foreign trade activities activities all over the country. all over the country. Chapter 4 7Cs Principle: Clarity, Courtesy and Correctness 7Cs Principle 5--Clarity 7Cs Principle 6--Courtesy 7Cs Principle 7--Correctness 1. 7Cs Principle 5--Clarity Guidelines to help write clearly: 1). Avoid using words or structures that cause ambiguity eg. 1 As instructed, we should send to your branch office in Shanghai 2 barrels of Turpentine Oil containing 25 gallons. As instructed, we shall send to your branch office in Shanghai two barrels of Turpentine Oil each containing 25 gallons. As instructed, we shall send to your branch office in Shanghai two barrels of Turpentine Oil containing 25 gallons each. eg. 2 We are sending you in the enclosed list five samples of the goods for your market which we think suitable by air freight. As in the enclosed list, we are sending you by air freight five samples of the goods which we think suitable for your market. Eg.3 Fluctuations in the freight after the date of sale will be for the buyer’s account. Any increase in the freight after the date of sale will be for the buyer’s account. Any change up or down(or Any increase or decrease) in the freight after the date of sale will be for the buyer’s account. 2) Be careful of the position of the attributives eg.1 We shall be able to supply 10 cases of the item only. We shall be able to supply only 10 cases of the item. Eg.2 The goods we received contrary to our instructions are packed in wooden cases without iron hoops. The goods we received are packed in wooden cases without iron hoops contrary to our instructions . Eg.3 In reply to your letter of May 6 and according to information received we believe that the firm referred to is quite a reliable one of this city. According to information received, we believe that the firm referred to in your letter of May 6 is quite a reliable one of this city. 3) Be attentive to the position of nouns and prons. Eg.1They informed Messrs. John & Smith that they would receive an answer in a few days. They informed Messrs. John & Smith that the latter would receive an answer in a few days. Eg.2We are willing to leave this matter to the company the details of which are unknown to us. We are willing to leave the company this matter, the details of which are unknown to us eg.3Referring to your letter of Nov. 29, we enclose herewith two copies of the certificate of measurement as requested which were made out immediately upon discharge. As requested in your letter of Nov. 29, we enclose herewith two copies of the certificate of measurement which were made out immediately upon discharge. 4) Carefully paragraph Eg.1 Dear Sirs, It is reported in a domestic newspaper that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their business of opening a new letter of credit as from the 3rd May for financial reason of foreign currency. Although it is said that this arrangement would be a temporary one and with establishment of new import policy this emergency arrangement would be lifted, we are much concerned about the outcome of this movement toward restriction of import to Iran and shall be obliged if you will kindly keep us well advised of development of this new arrangement especially in connection with import from France. Yours sincerely, Eg.2 Dear Sirs, Import to Iran It is reported in a vernacular newspaper that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their issuing new Letter of Credit as from 3rd May because of its decreasing foreign currency funds. Furthermore, it is said that the suspension seems a temporary one and will be released with establishment of a new import policy. We are much concerned , however, about the outcome of this movement towards restriction of import to Iran. We, therefore, shall be obliged if you will keep us well informed of development of this new state of affairs, especially in connection with imports from France. Yours sincerely, Eg. 3 Gentlemen: Canvas Wooden Folding Chair We are very much interested in the above-mentioned Canvas Wooden Chairs. We estimate our requirement to be about 20,000 to 30,000 pes. for the current year. We would like to place a trial order for 600 pes. only, in equal numbers of green, black and orange canvas, all white finished wood, port of discharge San Francisco. As stated in your letter of March 25,2002 (Ref. No. 127/187) the price is RMB 12.00 per pc. C&F San Francisco. We will open a letter of credit for 600 pes. as soon as this trial order is confirmed. If for some reasons it is not possible for you to ship only 600 pes., please let us know as soon as possible. We await your reply. Yours sincerely, Eg. 4 Gentlemen: Canvas Wooden Folding Chair (Art. No. W71-72) We are very much interested in the above-mentioned Canvas Wooden Folding Chairs. We estimated or requirement to be about 20,000 to 30,000 pes. for the current year. We would like to place a trial order for 600 pes. only, in equal numbers of green, black and orange canvas, all white finished wood, port of discharge San Francisco. As stated in your letter of March25,2002 (Ref. No. 127/187) the price is RMB 12.00 per pc. C&F San Francisco. We will open a letter of credit for 600 pes. as soon as this trial order is confirmed. If for some reasons it is not possible for you to ship only 600 pes., please let us know as soon as possible. We await your reply. Yours sincerely, 2. 7Cs Principle 6--Courtesy Courtesy---to give the receiver a feeling of importance and satisfaction 1). Answer your mail immediately 2). Be sincere and naturally tactful, thoughtful and appreciative. 3). Avoid using expressions that may irritate your reader 3. 7Cs Principle 7--Correctness Correctness means the writer should: ----Choose the correct level of language ----Have a good command of both Chinese and English ----Use only accurate facts, figures and words 1) Choose the correct level of language A. Formal: Top-level government documents and papers, dissertations and theses, international agreements, legal documents and other institutional writings. B. Informal: Business letters, newspaper and magazine articles publication for general use, and letters exchanged between friends and relatives. C. Acceptable only among certain groups of people, usually among the uneducated. Formal: Informal: anticipate expect ascertain find out deem think (believe) terminate end endeavor try interrogate ask procure get utilize use 2) Have a good command of English Figures and numbers should be correct A. “以上”, “以下”, “以前”, “以后”的达法 二美圆和二美圆以上 60 打和60 打以上 $2 or (and) above (over) 60 dozen or (and) up (upward,upwards) $2 or (and) less (below) 60 dozen or (and) down (downwards) 2%和 2%以上 2% or (and) more 50 罗或 50 罗以上的定单 不少于 50 罗的定单 an order for 50 gross or upward an order for not less than 50 gross B. “从„„到„„”的表示法 5%到 10%(包括 5%和10%) 5% up to 10% both inclusive 5%到 10%(包括 10%) over 5% up to 10% inclusive 不包括 3% any excess over 3% any amount over and above 3% a sum exceeding 3% a sum above 3% 3) Chief Punctuation Marks and their uses A. The Comma (,) Nature: The shortest stop in the English language, and is used to denote a brief pause in the sense of a passage when used: a) After brief, distinct statements combined in one sentence. Eg. Customs duties are also levied on drinkables, such as tea, cocoa, coffee, chicory, wine, spirits and things made of or containing spirit. b) When a number of nouns, adjectives, verbs, or adverbs are used together without conjunctions. Eg. English, French, Dutch, Spaniards and Russians frequented this important produce exchange. c) Before or after nouns in apposition. Eg. Billy, the barber, shaved his father. d) Before and after adjective clauses, introduced by “who” or “which”. Eg. The chairman, who was waiting for his opportunity now rose to take the vote. e) Before and after words and phrases introduced parenthetically, such as “therefore,” “in my opinion,” “nevertheless,” etc. Eg. We must, therefore, insist upon the immediate payment of the amount. B. The Semi-colon (;)--- Nature: This indicates a longer pause than one indicated by a comma. When used: a) To make a break in a long sentence containing many commas. Eg. The articles on which import duties are levied may be arranged in three categories; first, tobacco, cigars, and playing cards; second, drinkables, such as tea, cocoa, wines, and spirits; third, dried fruits