怪物史莱克2台词

Shrek 2 Script [man's voice] Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. [horse whinnies] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. [crows caw] For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... [gasps] What? - Princess... Fiona? - No! [sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? [ Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love] So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - [screams] - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love It's so good to be home! - [distant singing] - [giggling] Just you and me and... [Donkey sings] - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey? Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. [chuckles] And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. - Donkey! - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. He'll be fine. Now, where were we? [giggles] Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! - [Fiona yelps] I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? [fanfare] [ theme to Hawaii Five-O] Enough, Reggie. [clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona. "You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away "for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage "at which time the King "will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and your..." uh..."Prince Charming. "Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. "aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? - We're not going. - [both] What? I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? [chuckles] Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! [exasperated sigh] So that's it. You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! [Gingy] Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. [all cheer] - Hey, wait for me. Oof! - [glass breaks] [sighs] [ Chic: Le Freak] Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Fiona] Not yet. - [Donkey] OK, are we there yet? - [Fiona] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] Yes. - Really? - No! - Are we there yet? - [Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek] We are not! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek & Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek mimics] - That's not funny. That's really immature. - [Shrek mimics] - This is why nobody likes ogres. - [Shrek mimics] - Your loss! - [Shrek mimics] - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... [softly] away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [sighs] [deep sigh] [clicks tongue] [popping] - [popping] - [exasperated sigh] For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... [shouts]... for five minutes! - [popping] - [shrieks] Are we there yet? - [chuckles] Yes! - Oh, finally! [fanfare] [ Lipps, Inc: Funkytown] Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. [whistle] Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. [Donkey] Swimming pools! Movie stars! [cheering] [applause] [fanfare] Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. [fanfare] [fanfare and cheering stop] [gasps] [tweeting] [baby wails] Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. [chuckles] So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - [softly] Who on earth are they? - [softly] I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... [softly] Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Fiona] Not yet. - [Donkey] OK, are we there yet? - [Fiona] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] Yes. - Really? - No! - Are we there yet? - [Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek] We are not! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek & Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek mimics] - That's not funny. That's really immature. - [Shrek mimics] - This is why nobody likes ogres. - [Shrek mimics] - Your loss! - [Shrek mimics] - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... [softly] away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [sighs] [deep sigh] [clicks tongue] [popping] - [popping] - [exasperated sigh] For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... [shouts]... for five minutes! - [popping] - [shrieks] Are we there yet? - [chuckles] Yes! - Oh, finally! [fanfare] [ Lipps, Inc: Funkytown] Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. [whistle] Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. [Donkey] Swimming pools! Movie stars! [cheering] [applause] [fanfare] Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. [fanfare] [fanfare and cheering stop] [gasps] [tweeting] [baby wails] Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. [chuckles] So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - [softly] Who on earth are they? - [softly] I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... [softly] Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... A disaster! There is no way... - You can do this. - I really... - Really... - don't... want... to... be... Here! Mom... Dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. Well, um... It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. [chuckles nervously] [gulps] [belches] - Excuse me. - [Shrek & Fiona laugh] Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? [both giggle] [Shrek] That's good. I guess not. What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? Oh, boy. [slurps] - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm! No, no. Darling. [chuckles nervously] Oh! So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. Well... Shrek owns his own land. - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... [laughing] What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp. An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. - [splutters] - [chokes] It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? - Indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, OK? - For his type, yes. - My type? I got to go to the bathroom. - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. Bon appetit! Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in. Don't mind if I do, Lillian. I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... Ogres, yes! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! Dad! No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. - Harold! - Shrek! - Fiona! - Fiona! - Mom! - Harold... Donkey! [glissando] Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... [both gasp] Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... "For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!" A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon fris? ' Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon With the prince to the tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souffl? Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair Stop! [chuckles] Look... Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this. [gasps and mutterings of disapproval] - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. - [knocking] - [Shrek] Fiona? Fiona? [dog barks] Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother, furniture... [giggles] I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? Shrek is the one who rescued me. - But that can't be right. - Oh, great, more relatives! She's just trying to help. Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. - What? - I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness... is just a teardrop away. Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... [laughs] So I see. Let's go, Kyle. - Very nice, Shrek. - What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. You could've at least tried to get along with my father. I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Fiona] Not yet. - [Donkey] OK, are we there yet? - [Fiona] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] Yes. - Really? - No! - Are we there yet? - [Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek] We are not! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek & Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek mimics] - That's not funny. That's really immature. - [Shrek mimics] - This is why nobody likes ogres. - [Shrek mimics] - Your loss! - [Shrek mimics] - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... [softly] away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [sighs] [deep sigh] [clicks tongue] [popping] - [popping] - [exasperated sigh] For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... [shouts]... for five minutes! - [popping] - [shrieks] Are we there yet? - [chuckles] Yes! - Oh, finally! [fanfare] [ Lipps, Inc: Funkytown] Wow!