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310 The One Where Rachel Quits [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.] Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I don't, I don't know. Rachel: What? Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing? Gunther: Rachel? Rachel: Yeah. Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress? Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new? Gunther: (laughs) Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever. Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that? Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah? Opening Credits [Scene: The hallway of Ross's building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.] Sarah: So that's two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. (Does the Brown Bird salute, she blows on a bird call, then holds her hand, palm facing out, next to her face, and then waves it like a bird flapping it's wings.) Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand. Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand. Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand. Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine. (they both start up the stairs.) Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three 'P's of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah who's started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.) [Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there discussing the incident.] Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?!! Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay. Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish? Ross: Well, I'm gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think she'll like? Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk... (Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.) Rachel: I'm gonna get back to retraining. (gets up) Ross: All right, see you guys. (starts to leave) Chandler: Look out kids, he's coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.) Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees. Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, don't! I forgot I am totally against that now. Joey: What? Me having a job? Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night? Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy. Phoebe: Really? (Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.) Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's the only chance to see New York. [cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.] Gunther: ...and after you've delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray.... Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, I've worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.) Gunther: What if you put them here. (sets the empty tray on another stack of empty trays on the back counter.) Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too. Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the 'tray spot.' Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm, I'm sorry. (walks away) Gunther: It's all right. Sweetheart. [Scene: Sarah's bedroom, her room is decorated with a space motif.] Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, don't have to sell those cookies anymore. Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle. Ross: Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh? Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, he'd be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal. Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India. Sarah: No. The one in Atlantic City, Dad loves the slots. He says he's gonna double the college money my Grandma left me. Ross: Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win? Sarah: The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five. Ross: Yeah. Sarah: So far, I've sold seventy-five. Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes? Sarah: Five dollars a box. Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize? Sarah: A ten speed bike. But, I'd rather have something my Dad couldn't sell. Ross: Well, that makes sense. Sarah: Could you do me one favor, if it's not too much trouble? Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything. Sarah: Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we don't have a TV, the lady across the alley said she'd push hers up to a window, so I could watch it. [Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.] Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss? Ross: Hi, I'm selling Brown Bird cookies. Woman: You're no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole. Ross: No, hi, I'm, I'm an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.) Woman: What does that mean? Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleep-overs. Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away! Ross: No, please, please, um, it's for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world. Woman: I'm pressing, a policeman is on his way. Ross: Okay, okay! I'm going. I'm going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.) Woman: I can still see you! Ross: All right!! [Scene: Joey's work, selling Christmas trees.] Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey. Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here? Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh... Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas.... Phoebe: Destiny. Joey: Sure. Phoebe: Yes. Joey: All right. Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joey's co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesn't look very fulfilled. Joey: Oh, that's, that's ah, one of the old ones, he's just taking it to the back. Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist. Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones. Phoebe: So, what happens to the old guys? Joey: Well, they go into the chipper. Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joey's shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.) Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the 'cut it' motion with his hands) [Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel who's still being retrained, about the different cookie options.] Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus. Joey: All right, I'll take a box of the cream filled Jesus's. Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, I'm trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, I'm putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you? Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities? Ross: No, but ah, there's coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, I'll put you down for eight boxes, one for each night. (Chandler mouths 'Okay.') Ross: Mon? Monica: All right, I'll take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and that's it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all? Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time, why don't I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolph's. Monica: No. Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want 'em. Monica: Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do this. Ross: I'll tell you what Mon, I'll give you the first box for free. Monica: (she reaches out for it and stops) Oh God! I gotta go! (runs out) Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating 'em! (chases after her.) [cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.] Gunther: And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there. Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) I'm training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks. Joey: Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff? Rachel: Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that. Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago? Rachel: Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts. Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear. Rachel: The fear? Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want. Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get 'the fear'? (Chandler and Joey both laugh) Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid. Rachel: I don't know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just don't want to be 30 and still work here. Chandler: Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28, and still working here. Gunther: Rachel? Rachel: Yeah. Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular. Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles on them? Gunther: You would think. Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why I'm a terrible waitress? Because, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I don't care where the tray spot is, I just don't care, this is not what I want to do. So I don't think I should do it anymore. I'm gonna give you my weeks notice. Gunther: What?! Rachel: Gunther, I quit. Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.) Commercial Break [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much he's sold.] Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What? Chandler: I spelled out boobies. Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Ross's cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures? Ross: Ah, we're out. I sold them all. Monica: What? Ross: Monica, I'm cutting you off. Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-it's no big deal, all right, I'm-I'm cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes! Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck. Monica: (covers her neck) Oh God! (runs to the bathroom) Chandler: So, how many have you sold so far? Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes! Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that? Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as 'Laser Floyd' was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! That's when it occurred to me, the key to my success, 'the munchies.' So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!' Rachel: (entering) Okay, stop what you're doing, I need envelope stuffers, I need stamp lickers..... Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya? Chandler: Me! On my computer. Ross: Well you sure used a large font. Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room. Rachel: Hey-hey-hey that's funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?! Chandler: Something else I might have said? Rachel: I don't know, I don't know, weren't you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!! Ross: Sweetie, calm down, it's gonna be okay. Rachel: No, it's not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I don't have a lead. Okay, y'know what, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna call Gunther and I'm gonna tell him, I'm not quitting. Chandler: You-you-you don't wanna give into the fear. Rachel: You and your stupid fear. I hate your fear. I would like to take you and your fear.... Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news! Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out) Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions? Rachel: No. Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview? Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey. Joey: Not a problem. Rachel: Thanks. Joey: And now for the great news. Ross: What, that wasn't the great news? Joey: Only if you think it's better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie. Monica: Christmas cookie? [Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.] Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now it's a little more money, but you get a nicer smell. Guy: Looks good. I'll take it. Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you don't want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has) Guy: It's-it's-it's almost dead! Phoebe: Okay but that's why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil it's Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that don't fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper. Guy: I-I think I'm gonna look around a little bit more. Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here. Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree. Phoebe: Well look no further, (shows her the dead one) this one's yours! Ahhh. Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year? Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional, I guess it's just the holidays, it's hard. Monica: Oh honey, is that 'cause your Mom died around Christmas? Phoebe: Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that. Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a 'way-to-go' thumbs up and smile.) [Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.] Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell? Girl: I'm not gonna tell you! You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg. Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay. Girl: You're a big scrud. Ross: What's a scrud? Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud. Ross: I don't have too. I can just look at you. Leader: All right girls, and man. Let's see your final tallies. (all the girls raise their hands) Ohhhh, Debbie, (looks at her form) 321 boxes of cookies, (to Debbie) Very nice. Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough. Leader: Charla, 278. Sorry, dear, but still good. Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud. Leader: Oh, yes Elizabeth. Ah, 871. Ross: That's crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute) Leader: Who's next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, who's feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.) Ross: Hi there! Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself. Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency. [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.] Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross. Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes. Chandler: (to Rachel, who's entering) Hey! How'd the interview go? Rachel: Oh, I blew it. I wouldn't of even hired me. Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, you're gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) That's not how that was supposed to come out. Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever. Chandler: Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house. Rachel: I can't! It's too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. (points to her) Look at her, she's even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... (starts to cry) swans. Ross: That word was swans. [Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.] Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas. (They start to go into Monica and Rachel's, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joey's work.) Phoebe: Oh! Oh my God! Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!! Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best! Chandler: It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.' (phone rings) Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! You're kidding! You're kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you! Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder. Rachel: (hanging up the phone) I got the job! All: That's great! Hey! Excellent! Phoebe: Oh, God bless us, everyone. [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving her last cup of coffee.] Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer) Chandler: (to Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea? Ross: No. Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, it's just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again. [Scene: Rachel's new job, Rachel's boss is telling her what to do.] Rachel's Boss: Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, 'cause this part's tricky, see some people use filters just once. Closing Credits [Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandler's.] Ross: I'm, I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Spacecamp, and I'm hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttle's Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.) Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you don't have to do this. Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown! Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off! (They start shaking the chair likes it's flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...) Chandler: I'm an alien. I'm an alien. Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joey's head.) (The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.) End 310 瑞秋辞职 我不知道… 啊？ 照狗的年纪来算… 你认为史奴比 还能飞这个玩意儿吗? 瑞秋? 什么事? 记得你刚来的时候 有另外一个服务生训练你吗? 当然，要我训练新人吗? 问得好 其实是泰瑞要你再受训一次 什么时候都可以 你相信这种事吗? 相信 共是两盒蛋白杏仁饼干 我代美国棕鸟向你致敬 承认吧，你不会反手击球 对不起，小鬼 我反手击球很厉窖 像个女人一样掩面大叫… 不叫反手击球 我的叫声… 像海军 好，看我示范冠军选手的三个P 力量 准头 架式 你害一个小女孩的腿骨折? 我知道，我很难过，行吗? 报上说有个小女孩 昨晚在芝麻街道遭重击 你昨晚十点左右人在哪里? 我要去看她 我想带点东西给她 她会喜欢什么? 凯蒂猫娃娃? 走路的能力? 我得回去接受再训练了 好，再见，各位 小心，小朋友，他来了 我得去卖圣诞树了 卖得开心点 等等，不要去 我忘了 我现在完全反对这件事 什么? 反对我有工作? 不，我反对无辜的树木 在青春正盛的时候被砍下… 尸体被装饰得怪模怪样… 挂上一堆金箔和闪灯… 你昨晚睡得好吗? 我拖着树 走来走去累得要命 你完全搞错了 那些树生来就是要当圣诞树的 为人们带来欢乐 是实现他们生存的目的 真的？ 没错 对，这些树也很高兴… 因为对大多数的树来说 这是他们… 见识纽约的唯一机会 送完饮料之后，把盘子… 甘瑟，拜托我在这里 做了两年半 我知道空盘子要放在那里 放在这里怎么样? 这倒是个好主意 离马克杯比较近 你应该要其他的服务生照办 她们本来就是这么放的 所以她们管这里叫盘子区 我听到她们说这个 我还以为是她们参加的俱乐部 对不起 没关系 甜心 你一定很高兴吧? 你爸爸说你可以不用上学 也不必再去卖饼干了 我很想去卖饼干 卖最多饼干的人可以免费参加太空营 坐上真正的太空梭 你很喜欢太空的东西，是吧? 我爸爸说如果我 帮他清洁公寓的时间 和我做太空梦的时间一样多 他就可以去泰姬玛哈陵了 要清洁很多间公寓 才有钱去印度 不，是大西洋城的泰姬玛哈陵 爸爸喜欢吃角子老虎 他说可以把祖母留给 我的大学学费再增加一倍 那就祝爸爸好运吧 要卖多少盒饼干才能获胜? 去年的冠军卖了475盒 我到目前为止卖了75盒 还有四百盒 应该不难，一盒多少钱? 五块钱 奖是什么? 十段变速脚踏车，但我 宁可要爸爸不能变卖的东西 这也对 帮我一个忙好吗? 好的，莎拉，你说一句就行了 你帮我把窗帘拉起来好吗? 太空人会上电视新闻 我们没有电视，对面的小姐… 说她会把她的电视 推到窗口让我看 什么事? 嗨，我是卖棕鸟饼干的 你不是棕鸟队员 我可以从窥视孔看到你 嗨，我是棕鸟的荣誉队员 这是什么意思? 是说我可以卖饼干 但不能在别人家过夜 我可以按钮拨119报警 快走 拜托…我是为了一个贫穷的小女孩… 她最大的心愿就是参加太空营 我要按钮了 警察马上就来了 好… 我马上走 我还看得到你 好啦! 你在这里干嘛? 我把你的话想了很久 我发觉也许我是有点太苛刻了 对，可是… 菲比，记住 它们只是在实现他们的圣诞·， 宿命 没错 那棵看起来好像很空虚 那是老树了 他只是把树拿到后面罢了 你们把老树放在后面? 真是年龄歧视 这样才有地方放新鲜的树 那老的怎么办? 拿去切碎 我感觉好像不怎么快乐似的 “中央咖啡厅” 这些是圣诞人物的形状 圣诞老人鲁道夫， 和耶稣宝宝 我要一盒奶油馅的耶稣宝宝 一盒?这可是为了帮助 一个想参加太空营的小女孩呢 我算你五盒，你呢? 好吧，你有没有椰子口味的神? 没有，但犹太教的分支 蜡烛有椰子口味 我算你八盒，一晚一盒 摩妮卡? 我要一盒薄荷口味的 一盒就好了 我参加棕鸟之后就胖了 记得吗?爸爸买光了 我的饼干，我全都吃掉了 不，摩妮卡，爸爸不得不 买下每一盒饼干… 是因为你把饼干吃光了 可是这次一定不会这样了 我给你算三盒薄荷 两盒鲁道夫吧? 不要 好啦，你知道你很想吃 不要这样 这样吧，第一盒算我送的 老天，我得走了 来嘛，好孩子都吃这种饼干 待会儿新的服务生来了 我会告诉你为什么不能… 把蜘蛛困在马克杯底下就算了 我痛恨这工作，还要努力改进 我的人生算是完了 这不是暂时性的工作而已吗? 你的目标是打入时装界 对，我还在朝目标前进 你是怎么前进的? 两年前寄寄履历表吗? 我还传达了… 好点子 如果你问我 只要你还保有这份工作 就没有找新工作的动机 你需要的是恐惧 恐惧? 他说得对 辞掉这份工作，才有动机 追求你心目中理想的工作 你为何还在做你讨厌的工作? 干嘛不辞职来产生恐惧 因为我太害怕了 我不知道，我愿意不计一切 为设计师或采购人工作 我不想到了30岁 还在这里工作 对，那要比28岁 还在这里工作惨多了 瑞秋，提醒我跟你复习 哪壶是低因咖啡，哪壶不是 看把手看不出来吗? 想得美 好了，甘瑟，你知道吗? 我是个很差劲的服务生 你知道这是为什么吗? 因为我不在乎 我不在乎哪壶是普通咖啡 哪壶是低因咖啡 我不在乎盘子区在哪里 我就是不在乎 这不是我想做的工作 所以我想我不该再做下去了 我正式提出辞呈 什么? 甘瑟，我辞职 这表示以后 喝咖啡要付钱了吗? 好，1 2 2 2 1 8 干嘛? 我拼出了“傻蛋” 再给我一盒薄荷口味的，好吗? 薄荷饼干在哪里? 没有了，都卖光了 什么? 摩妮卡我不能再让你吃下去了 再两盒就好 这也没什么，我很好 你得帮我再弄两盒 看看你自己 你脖子上还有饼干 老天! 你卖了几盒？ 你看 417盒 老天，你怎么办到的? 前两天晚上 我离开博物馆的时候 天文馆正在放雷射佛洛依德 我随随便便就卖了五十盒 这时我想到成功的关键 就是吸大麻后的“饥饿感” 所以我开始在午夜时分 到纽约大学的宿舍去 我把饼干论箱卖 他们叫我“饼干佬” 放下手边的事，我需要人 帮我塞信封、舔邮票… 谁帮你写履历表的? 我用我的电脑写的 你还真用了够大号的黑体字 对，“咖啡厅的服务生” 和“啦啦队队长”占不了多少空间 真有趣 你好有趣，钱德你有趣极了 知道还有哪件事也很有趣吗? 我说错了什么吗? 我不知道 不是你在我毫无后路的时候… 叫我辞职的吗? 别激动，事情会顺利的 不，不会的 明天是我最后一天上班 而我到现在还毫无进展 你知道吗? 我要打电话给甘瑟 说我不辞职了 你不能向恐惧投降 你和你愚蠢的恐惧 我痛恨你的恐惧 我要把你和你的恐惧… 嘿，我有好消息 快跑，乔伊，逃命去吧 干嘛? 瑞秋，听好了你听过福图那塔时装没有? 我老爸在那里做水电工 听说那里要找人 要他帮你安排面试吗? 天哪，我要，太好了 你好可爱，乔伊 应该的 现在告诉你们好消息 刚才那个不是好消息? 除非你们觉得此这个消息更好 雪花罐! 要我装饰窗户吗? 看起来有圣诞的感觉 圣诞饼干? 好，这是一棵道格拉斯枞树 这个比较贵一点， 但也比较香 看起来不错，我买了 等等，不要不要买那棵 不，你可以买这棵棕色的树 这树都快死了 所以非买不可 让它完成它的圣诞宿命 不然他们就会把拿去切碎 告诉他 对，无法完成圣诞宿命的树 就要拿去切碎 我还是再看看吧 你不能再这样搞下去了 我是赚佣金的 我来挑一棵圣诞树 别看了，就买这棵 这是我去年丢掉的树吗? 算了，大家都想买绿树 对不起，我也不想 这么情绪化 过节就是让人很难受 亲爱的，这是因为 你母亲在圣诞节前后过世吗? 我还没想到那件事呢 嗨，你卖了多少? 我不告诉你 你是害莎拉断腿的坏人 嘿，那是意外，好吗? 你是个大斗蛋 什么叫斗蛋? 照镜子就看到了，斗蛋 我不用照镜子 我看你就行了 好，各位小女孩… 和大男人 我们看看大家的总成绩 黛比 321盒饼干，很好 还不够好 夏拉 278盒 对不起，亲爱的 但还是不错 对斗蛋来说是不错 你呢，伊莉莎白? 871盒 乱盖 棕鸟修女 做得好 下一个是谁? 嗨嗨 替莎拉代打的… 罗斯盖勒 872盒 不过看样子你自己买了一大堆饼干 那是因为我的医生说我有… 很严重的… 果仁糖… 不足… 把事情的经过告诉我们 棕鸟罗斯 我输了，有个小女孩把制服 借给19岁的姊姊 她到美国轮船尼米兹号… 卖掉了两千多盒 面试怎么样？ 我搞砸了 连我自己都不会请我 过来，甜心 听我说… 找到工作之前 要应霉一千次… 这种情形应该不会发生 这是最糟糕的圣诞节 也许你应该留在咖啡厅 不行了，太迟了 泰瑞已经请了那个女孩 你们看看她 她还有当服务生的经验 昨天晚上，她还·， 教大家把… 餐巾… 摺成… 她说的是“天鹅” 看到酒醉的圣诞老人撒尿 我的圣诞节可真快乐 我的天 圣诞快乐 你们救了他们 老天，你们太棒了 好像是“生不如死的 圣诞树之夜” 对，我就是 你开玩笑… 谢谢，我爱你 当然啦大家都喜欢 听人家开玩笑 我找到工作了 太好了 上帝保佑我们大家 来，这是我最后一次端咖啡 来 用心品尝吧 我该告诉她 我点的是咖啡吗?不要说 对不起，各位? 这是我在这里工作的最后一夜… 我只想说… 我在这里交了一些好朋友… 现在是向前走的时候了 我无意冒犯 各位留在这里的人 但你们不知道我多庆幸 可以在这一刻说… 我再也不必冲咖啡了… 老卡普兰先生喜欢喝浓咖啡 所以一包不够，要用两包 注意听好了，这里很需要技巧 有些人的滤纸只用一次 我很遗憾你不能参加太空营 我希望这个 或许能帮我补偿你，好吗? 接下来是… 莎拉图多的私人特制太空营 你不必这么做的 别客气，来吧 准备倒数 好，发射 我是外星人… 不，小行星来了