新浪微博热门段子4
1 女:我已经有男朋友了。男:这我不介意,我还是喜欢你——旁人评论:好痴情的男人。 男:我已经有女朋友了。女:我不介意,我还是喜欢你——旁人评论:擦~不要脸的小三.
2 甲:老同学,好久不见了,你的女朋友小丽还好吗,乙(得意洋洋):哈哈,她早就不是我的女朋友了~甲:嗯,你早该这样了,在大学时,我就听说她跟咱们班里好几个男生有染,想当年我还和她有过一腿呢~乙脸色铁青,半晌才低声吐出几个字:她现在是我的老婆.
3 现在房价高,凑合着住着吧
4一朋友女朋友即将到国外出差,走之前说给他把屋子换一个新床。他高兴的不行,天天拉着我们吹嘘他女朋友对他有多好。结果货一到,他抱着我就泪奔了。。。哭的那个惨呀
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
5 人不会苦一辈子,但总会苦一阵子。许多人为了逃避苦一阵子,却苦了一辈子。 6 曾经,有这样一代人。他们不要存款,不要房产,不要汽车,只是彼此萌生了爱意,就一起推着自行车去登记,然后戴着红花一起回家。就这样,风风雨雨几十年,相亲相爱一辈子.
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
7 文科女给医科男发短信:“青青子佩 悠悠我思 纵我不往 子宁不来。”医科男回:“请说中文... ”文科女:“你妹的,老娘不去找你,你他娘的就不知道来找老娘...,”
8【女儿和媳妇的区别】一位婆婆和邻居说:我那个媳妇,好吃懒做,睡到中午,家事也没做,东西还让我儿子拿到房间给她吃,真是太过份了。邻居又问她:你女儿嫁的还不错吧,婆婆说:对啊,过的很幸福呢,大家都对她很好,也不用做家事,假日都到处去玩,也可以睡到中午,女婿还会煮东西送到。 9 户外广告学了四年,不得不承认,奶奶您才是
高手~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
10 最后和你在一起的人,往往是你想不到的人。
11 一张网友抓拍的图片:一家长骑摩托载着一男童前行,背向而坐的男童竟把摩托后备箱当桌子赶作业
12哥,以后丝袜不要买那么黑.
13 什么父母会把孩子弄成小王八,不过小王八很可爱啦 ~~~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
14 在海边遇到这样的小美人鱼,你会肿么办,
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
15 村里有个姑娘叫小芳 ,长得好看又善良 ,一双美丽的大眼睛, 辫子粗又长。。。
16 这只猫绝对是在看韩剧~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
17 知道文胸广告是怎么拍出来的吗,
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
18 这是我见过的,最具有杀伤力的千手观音。。
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
19 有一次,我没戴眼镜走在路上,看到一个很帅又很熟悉的人,于是我走近去看,才发现,啊,原来只是一面镜子。
20 忧郁的眼神,帅气的坐骑
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
21 女生和男朋友吵架了,她气的摔门跑了出去,男生连忙跟着,女生刚跑出门,就遇到一辆大货车,一时紧张,闭着眼睛、男生毫不犹豫的上前抱住了她,并把她推开~开车的大爷探出头来“喂~我是倒车好不好~要死得去高速公路~”两位过路的大妈无奈的摇了摇头:现在的小孩看偶像剧看多了. 22 我勒个去,被一只学艺术的蚊子叮了一下~~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
23两个朋友,一个在北京一个在丽江。一个年薪十万,买不起房,租住着十几平的小房间,朝九晚五,每天挤公交,呼吸着汽车尾气,想着出人头地。一个无固定收入,住在湖边一个破旧的四合院,每天睡到自然醒,以摄影为生,到处溜达。没事喝茶晒太阳,看雪山浮云。一个说对方不求上进,一个说对方不懂生活。
24 一湖北小伙在北京一建筑工地当小工,偶然间和在建写字楼的设计师聊,没想到他们竟都是1992年参加的高考(那时候全国一摸一样的考题),湖北民工当年考了515落榜了,设计师在北京当年考了497上了建筑
大学。N年后,命运竟是如此差异~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
25 小外甥闹着要姥姥讲故事才睡觉。妈:从前有个人挎着麻篮去买菜...外甥:不行,我要听奥特曼。妈淡定:从前奥特曼挎着篮去买菜...外甥大闹:不行,我要听奥特曼和怪兽打架~妈:从前有个奥特曼买菜的时候和卖菜的怪兽打起来了...然后外甥听了奥特曼和怪兽为一斤白菜打得头破血流后满足地睡觉去了。 26 原来,凤姐姐是有背景的人。。。
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
27 这世界没有十全十美的女人,漂亮的不下厨,下厨的不温柔,温柔的没主见,有主见的没女人味,有女人味的会乱花钱,不会乱花钱的不会打扮,会打扮的不放心,放心的肯定不能看.... 28 思念一个人的滋味, 就像喝一杯冰冷的水, 然后用很长很长的时间, 一颗一颗流成热泪...” event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
29 范冰冰就是有本事将别人原本长得好好的鲜花,瞬间就贬为用来衬托自己的绿叶
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
30 初吻没经验,不准笑~爱可以简简单单,但不会随随便便。。。
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures
31 1、北京看全国都是基层;2、上海看全国都是乡下;3、广东看全国都是穷人;4、河南看全国都缺心眼;5、山东看全国都不仗义;6、江苏看全国都欠发达;7、浙江看全国都待开发;8、四川看全国都缺小姐;9、陕西看全国都没文化;10、新疆看全国都太拥挤;11、西藏看全国都没信仰 32 正常女生大脑剖析图,同意的童鞋举手,
33 我
妹,一个00后,QQ签名档上愕然写着:“那繁华落尽,留下的只有遍地忧伤”——妈呀她才十岁啊~忧伤个毛啊她~~~ 我十岁的时候签名档还是:“我是最棒的~耶~ ”
34 下课铃响了,老师微笑着对全班说:“吵着要放学的同学不要慌,不会拖堂,请吃方便面的同学不要聊天了。叫后排打扑克的同学安静下,以免影响前排同学睡觉。靠窗看风景的同学,喊下操场打篮球的同学,我好布置作业。顺路的同学记得通知在网吧的同学今天的作业。”(
35 这就传说的羡慕嫉妒恨~~~~
event program 42 Data analysis program 43 corrected and prevention measures program 44 management review program Appendix b project added management program listing serial number name sequence name 1 create boutique engineering optimization measures