我不想洗澡

I hate bathing 看完这篇文章不禁让我想起自己的妈妈，虽然她只是在家安心地当个“家庭主妇”，但似乎还是有忙不完的事情，看着她的背影总让我感到愧疚，到底妈妈们为家庭和孩子做了什么？自己来看看吧！ Momo I Hate Bathing 妈妈不想洗澡 By fractalmom 译 洪增长 文章难度 2个辣椒 I have decided that I absolutely hate bathing. I don’t hate being clean or anything, I am just not willing to devote the time I have to 1)personal hygiene. Last night, at 10 p.m., after my usual 2)exhausting day, i.e. got up at 6, got S up, dressed, fed, ready for school, took DH’s dog outside, managed to suck down only ONE cup of coffee, got the (1)kidlet to school on time, remembered to kiss the four year old before I left, forgot to kiss DH, didn’t even think about kissing the dogs or cats or fish but fed them all first thing, went to the office, did the weekend catch-up work, left work, ate lunch, picked up kids, had grandkid from after school until 3)karate, drove the ½ hour home, made dinner early because of karate, had to make two separate dinners because that is the grandkid that is totally 4)allergic to milk, and the menu last night was 5)grilled cheese and tomato soup. Breathe, breathe. Not good. She got grilled chicken with ketchup and (2)tomato soup made with water. Cleaned up dinner mess. Got kidlets ready to go, got to karate on time, ran into karate, helped them get dressed, left, 6)ran errands, went back to karate, picked kid up, drove ½ hour home again, got them ready for bed, kissed four year old goodnight, talked to DH for a few, did some 7)chores, fed animals again, locked up house, made uncountable trips into bedrooms to answer kid questions, etc., gave drinks, gave cookies to the “starving” children who could not go to sleep unless they got a 8)snack. Finally, at 10 pm, exhausted. I had to take a shower, which 9)PROMPTLY woke me up. Fine. Wonderful. Now, at bedtime, I am 10)raring to go. I usually take a pill to go to sleep. Because, I have to get up at 6 a.m., and if I do not get 8 hours of sleep, I do not 11)function any more. Period. End of story. I don’t have time to shower in the morning. There are too many mouths to feed, things to awaken, etc. I am too tired to shower at night. Don’t want to bathe when I bathe the kids, and there isn’t enough hot water to go three baths or showers any way. I just hate the whole idea of bathing. It takes too long. I get cold when I get undressed. It’s cold when I get out of the shower as well. Then, of course, I have to blow dry my hair which I absolutely hate doing but if I don’t, I will sleep on wet hair and awaken with the WORLDS WORST case of bed head ever seen. (Well, okay, for those who know me, I don’t really care about what I look like at home or at the office.) I find myself wanting the [1]Jetson days, you remember? When Judy Jetson slips into the “12)sonic shower” and is sonically cleaned of all 13)odor, 14)bacteria, and whatever undesirable things might be on her body and then jumps out, sparkingly clean and odorless. I want a sonic shower. I don’t think I would mind being 15)irradiated if it involved me NOT getting wet and waking up. I don’t see a solution to this problem. I tried showering as soon as I get home. It doesn’t work. Can anyone help me? I cannot be the ONLY person out there having this problem. 我实在是讨厌洗澡。我也不是不爱干净或者其它什么的，只是我不乐意浪费时间来搞个人卫生。 和平常一样，到昨天晚上十点，我才结束了一天疲惫不堪的生活：六点钟就要起床，叫醒S，给他穿衣服、喂饭，做好准备去上学，牵着DH的狗去外边溜达，然后才能勉强喝上一杯咖啡，接着得准时送孩子们去上学，离开前还要吻一吻那个四岁的小家伙；但我忘了吻DH，也不记得去爱抚小猫小狗和鱼，只知道头件要紧的事情是要给它们喂食；接着是去上班，赶起上周末未完成的工作，下班，吃午饭，接孩子，还要在孙女放学后到练空手道之前的时间内照顾她。我要开半个小时的车才到家，因为孙女要去练空手道，所以回家后还得早早地做晚饭，而且必须要分开做两份，因为孙女对牛奶过敏。昨晚我们的菜单是烤干酪和番茄浓汤。 歇歇脚，喘喘气。 不行啊。给她做了茄汁烤鸡和番茄清汤。要收拾餐桌，让孩子们做好准备，准时送他们去练习空手道，走进道场里，帮他们穿好衣服，离开去办其它差事，接着回到道场去接他们，再开半个小时的车回家，让他们准备好上床，吻吻那个四岁的小家伙，跟他道晚安，然后和DH聊了聊，做些琐碎的家务活，再给小动物们喂食，锁好屋门，不断地进出孩子们的卧室解决他们的问题，例如给这些“肚子饿”的小家伙送饮料和饼干，他们如果不吃点儿零食就睡不着觉。 终于到了晚上十点，真是精疲力竭。我得去洗个澡，这能让我立刻振作起来。好，真好，现在可以睡觉了，我迫不及待地爬到床上。 通常我睡前都要吃安眠药。因为我每天六点钟就要起床，如果我不能睡足八个小时的话，我整个人都会垮掉的。结束了。这就是整个故事。 早上我没有时间洗澡。有太多张嘴等着我来喂食，太多家伙等着我来唤醒。晚上我累得连洗澡的力气都没有。给孩子们洗完澡，我自己就不想洗了，再说等三个人洗完澡之后热水也不够了。我实在不愿提及洗澡的事情，这太费时了。脱完衣服我觉得冷，洗完澡出来我还是觉得冷。当然我还得吹干头发，这让我十分厌烦，但是如果不这样的话，我就得头发湿漉漉地躺到床上去，醒来后准瞧见世界上最糟糕的发型。（好吧，对那些认识我的人来说，我真的不在意我在家或在办公室时的样子。） 我发现自己很想过杰森式的生活，你还记得她吗？茱迪·杰森可以飞快地洗个“声波浴”，很快就可以清除身上所有的气味、细菌和其它令人不快的东西，然后是那么清新洁净、光彩照人地出现在眼前。我也想洗“声波浴”，我想我并不怕辐射，只要不把我弄湿和吵醒就行。 我还没有看到解决这个问题的方法。我曾尝试一回家就拖着疲惫的身体去洗澡。这不顶事。 有人能帮助我吗？不可能只有我才有此困扰吧？ 单词注释 1) personal hygiene 个人卫生 2) exhausting [] adj. 令人疲乏不堪的 3) karate [] n. [日]空手道(日本的一种徒手自卫武术) 4) allergic [] adj. 过敏的 5) grilled cheese 烤干酪 6) ran errands 跑腿，出去办事 7) chore [] n. 家务杂事 8) snack [] n. 小吃 9) promptly [] adv. 迅速地 10) raring [] adj. 渴望的，急切的 11) function [] v. 运行，运作 12) sonic [] adj. 音速的，速度极快的 13) odor [] n. 气味 14) bacteria [] n. 细菌 15) irradiate [] v. 照射 翻译小Tips (1) kidlet 在英语里，猪宝宝被称作“piglet”而不是“baby pig”，作者根据这一原则在这里创作了一个自己的名词，表示很小的孩子。 (2) tomato soup made with water 由于上文提到作者的孙女对牛奶过敏，因此为她准备了另一份晚餐。同是番茄汤，一种是加入香浓牛奶的（就像平时在西餐厅里喝到的那样），另一种是用清水做的，所以英文中特意加上“with water”来区分。 小资料 [1] Jetson 《杰森一家》，60年代的美国著名动画电视系列，以西元三十世纪为舞台所展开的太空家庭喜剧，剧情以搭乘自家用火箭上班，以及由金星发行的乐透彩等超现实的所展现的未来世界为主。下文中提到的Judy Jetson是《杰森一家》中主人公的女儿。