【糗事百科】经典精选02

【糗事百科】经典精选02 话说，我两个同学A女,B男。俩人关系不错，经常一起自习。某日自习回来，B男说想先去一下厕所，便将手机往牛仔裤屁股上的裤兜里一插,就打算往厕所奔。A女一把抓住他教育道:手机放在这一蹲下就掉了,。。。进而延伸到该男脑子大条blabla... 终于A幽怨的打断说:我们是站着的 站着的 的 最近在学校泡上一日本留学生MM，随带她逛街，路遇一家三口，父母带一大概五六岁的小loli，貌似是来京旅游的吧。问我们路。小loli的父亲直接问我身边的日本女孩xx街怎么走,这个日本女孩来中国没多久，基本上不会说汉语，然后她就慌了，叽里呱啦连比划的说了一堆日语，我马上挡下来说不好意思我女朋友是日本人，刚想告诉他路怎么走的时候，只见那个小loli指着她说:“日本鬼子～”我们几人瞬间黑线，然后小loli妈妈赶紧拉了她一把，说:“不许瞎说。”但那个loli依旧不依不饶的指着她说:“日本鬼子～”~~~ 这时日本MM用生硬的汉语问我:“日本~~什么,” 貌似她能听懂“日本”，但是这个“鬼子”她不知道是什么意思。 我爆汗，随用英语跟她解释:“她在夸你是日本美女～”(我都佩服我当时的思维) 然后这个日本MM瞬间满脸幸福状蹲下抹那个小loli的头，跟她说卡哇伊蒂斯内....... 小loli依旧对着她说:“日本鬼子～” 然后他父母也没继续问我路，赶紧拖着他们的女儿走了，期间那个小loli仍然不住的回头指着我身边的朋友说:“日本鬼子～” 日本鬼子 日本鬼 日本 日.... ..... .... 直到远去.... 前段时间，正值七夕。某商场现场促销，搭一个台子，规则就是现场只要是情侣就可以报名上台参加比赛。就是类似一个比划一个猜(大家都懂的)的一个比赛。冠军情侣可以得价值999(实际价值100左右。但是货是真的)的2分钻戒一对。诱惑不小啊。大家报名那个踊跃。看这架势挡不住了啊。于是规定凡报名必须拿出证据证明是真的情侣(意思就是2人合影或者情侣衫啊之类的)。小女不才啊，担当审核是否为真情侣的工作人员之一。说话间，一对小年轻来到我面前要求报名。 我:好的。请2位拿出真实有效的证明来证明你们的情侣关系。 小两口不知所措的对视。之后2人都松开了腰带。。。这还不是高潮。。 看这架势是要现场直播啊。我赶紧拦住:不需要这么激烈。合影或情侣衫就可以。 小俩口推开我，还是不由分说的脱下了裤子～ 顿时我黑线了。 。。。。。。。。。 他们穿着蜡笔小新情侣内裤。。 情侣内裤。。 内裤。。 裤。。 我吧，初恋处的早，因为和他从开裆裤就认识，我有一哥，他有两姐。 我哥从小就是情圣级别，读书好，大方，人长的好，又会花言巧语。当然，这是在别人看来。。只有我知道,他那些拿来哄女孩子的小礼物都是从我这儿偷的,全是我初恋送我的,可是我只能忍气吞声,因为爸妈要是知道了会把我们兄妹两的腿都给废了...早恋啊! 这事吧其实也没什么,只是忽然有一天男友一脸愤怒的拿了一个音乐盒一个公仔， 问我:“这是什么!!!!???” “这不都是你送给我的嘛，怎么又在你那了。。。。” “以前是我送给你的，可是现在。。。是你哥送我两姐的～～～” 哦。。。。。。。等等，什么,,两姐,,我滴哥啊，你泡我男友他姐就算了，你缺德啊，你还同时泡两儿~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 偶和老公相恋4年后结婚两年，感情一直很好，老公大偶六岁，处处体贴照顾。 最近老公刚刚升职，经常加班到晚上十一二点我睡着了后才回。而通常每天早上我上班时他还没起。 昨晚老公致电说要开紧急会议，勿等他。我觉得总这样不好，就想搞点小花招逗逗他。 突然想起一笑话，于是效仿。 12点20老公还没回，我涂上粉嫩唇彩等待。 12点40不到，老公回家，我趁他不注意猛地在他身后抱住他印上我的唇印?? 然后和他卿卿我我~~ 待他换下衣服后，我突然佯装惊愕?问他为何会有口红印?? 只见老公的脸由红致白????呆滞半天后猛说对不起我～不是故意骗我的?????? 原来老公一个曾经爱慕他的女同学离婚了，来本城散心顺便跑来找他叙旧?? 老公怕偶怀疑遂骗偶加班?????? 泪奔„„叙旧叙到12点半啊～～你俩大爷的～～ 我宿舍有一个姑娘A。个子高，脸美，人可爱，美中不足就是胸部很小，总是不断的研究能让咪咪变大的方法。 话说一年冬天，宿舍冷得不像话，大家都窝在被子里痛斥学校不给供暖。这时B姑娘说天冷了不能露出肚子，不然身体会怎么怎么样，然后肚子上会长出更多的脂肪。这时，只见A姑娘激动地从床上坐起来，大声喊:“那咱们在玻璃上掏两个洞，然后把咪咪伸出去冻着，咪咪就会变大吧～～” 掏两个洞。。。。。。伸出去。。。。。。变大。。。。。 我们顿时为她的想象力折服了。。。。 最近大学开学临近 昨夜家父言传身教 可谓考虑周全 丝丝透其父爱 涉及方方面面 家父告诫我 大学了 应该学会谈恋爱 就算失败了也是一种学习 „„„„„„„但是谈恋爱的同时 也要对自己的行为负责 不管是对男的 还是女的 还特别强调了不分男女„„„„男的„女的„„„„ 关系特铁一学妹，丁克族，婚而不育。 某日Q聊，她说:侄女(我闺女)周岁了吧?说说养小孩的好处吧，给我一生小孩的理由。 我想了想答复: -- 《我闺女的12大用途》 1、防吵架 和LP吵架时,面朝LP抱着她,可大大压缩吵架时间。 2、看门狗 放在童车里,置于门口,逢人就叫。 3、泡妞 对少妇有奇效，对少女也可拿她做排头兵。缺点是容易被中年妇女泡。 4、枕头 让小丫头趴着,枕在她背上,那叫一个舒服，就是千万别睡着了。 5、养花 小丫头生产的肥料，臭味低、产量足、肥力大。 6、买玩具 借她之名买自己喜欢的玩具，不过最近这样买的变形金刚、高达、明日香裸身纪念版都LP被骂了。 7、旧物件升级 小的如手机擦干净了给她咬，大的如相机给她摔，不想要的衣服给她拉屎，破坏不了的我代劳，一律算在她头上，再买新的。不过最近由于经济问题，我只能用带牙印的手机、带摔印的相机和带屎印的衬衫。 8、做发型 小丫头脸型和我俩差不多，发型构想先在她脑袋上实施，做好了就给我俩用，做不好就把小丫头刮成壳瓢。 9、护齿 在她脸蛋、手背、PP上轻轻一咬，清晰的一圈牙印，借以寻找蛀牙和不整齐的牙。 10、买大米 她多少斤我就买多少斤大米，一手惦一个，就知道缺不缺斤两。 出门前先给她称体重, 11、攒零花 怀抱闺女蹲在天桥，前面放一纸,上写:LP私奔、千里寻亲、女儿饥寒、求顿饭钱。 12、催眠 小丫头的PP和她妈的那对MiMi的大小、形状都神似，除了没有jiu儿手感也差不多，LP出差或生气了，摸着小丫头的PP睡觉，PiaPia的。 刚看了个同学的状态。南大科院新院长说:恩，学风不错，今年我就抽检大一新生知识水平，明年抽检大二，后年大三，大家做好准备。 和LG买车时候的事。 交款的时候，收银员习惯地问:“请问您是刷卡还是付现,” LG淡定地说:“付现。” 我惊讶地看着他，没发现带了这么多现金啊,难道背着我取出来的,问题是，放哪了啊, 在柜台人员的注视中，老公吃力地从风衣里掏出了„„钱包。 晕，难道你钱包里放了张十万面值的RMB啊, 只见他淡定地打开钱包，数着里面的票子，然后抬头说:“现金没带够，我刷卡行么,” 收银员说:“哥，我以为你是小叮当呢～” 以前在外租房住，用房东的宽带，那房东是个见钱眼开的主，一根线上拉了十几台机，一人收五十。于是，常常出现没法上网的情况。于是就利用能上网的时候下载单机游戏，用以无网络时打发时间。 某日，下了个街机打麻将的游戏，就是那种赢了以后电脑里对战的MM会一件件脱衣服的那种。 赢了几次，电脑里MM在脱衣服时，被女友看到了。于是她让我给她玩。无奈，女友的要求就是圣旨。 她先是赢了两次，看着电脑里在脱衣服，很是开心。接着就输了一把，然后她转过头问我:“现在该我脱了吧,” 今年暑假 我们一行八人去丽江〔一个少数民族地区〕游玩 一天中午去吃饭 吃的驴肉火锅 并喝了一种酒 叫驴胶酒 黑色的，不一会 酒倒满了火锅也开煮了 我们个个都摩拳擦掌准备开吃 就在这时 饭店老板端着一个和我们酒杯一样的杯子走了过来 里面装着和驴胶酒颜色 一样的液体 走到我们桌前 对我们说了一个字:醋!我哥们W别提有多激动 他以为人家少数民族开敬酒 说着人家的少数民族话 和我们干杯呢 他也端起酒杯对老板醋醋醋的说着 那时在座的七人也都跟w一样 端着酒杯嚷嚷着醋醋醋 之后我们就把酒干了 那老板看我们这阵势 一口也干了 刚坐下不久还没动筷 那老板有拿着一杯过来了 我正寻思这地方少数民族怎么这么好客呢 怎么又来敬酒呢 老板开口了 虽然有些别扭但是还可以听得懂的普通话 他满脸黑线的说„„的说:同学 这杯是醋„„是醋 昨天去闺蜜的学校首次参观(BJ某传媒类名校)，正好赶上他们班男生和某班的篮球比赛，于是去操场看比赛。她给我看他们班的极品帅哥，我刚说，额～这个很帅～ 她镇定地说:他是Gay。 额，我转手看了他们班另一名同样极品的帅哥， 她从容地说，这也是Gay„„ N分钟后„„我打断她的话。我问:“你，你们班这么多gay,老师都不管的么,,,,” 室友眼神放空，悠悠地望向远方，然后淡定地说， 老师。。。也是Gay。。。。。。。。。。。。。 昨天晚上，有个男生在咱考研教室里走上讲台，说:“耽误大家10分钟时间。”(我心想:考研辅导班打广告,) 此男:“我要向这个教室里一个女生白。”(这时我才抬头看了一下他，不帅，紧张) 说了来意后雷人的来了，他说:其实我今天衣服里面是裸体„„〔他白t恤，短裤〕(我们震惊了，变态,) 然后他就说要唱首歌，可是大走调„„唱完后都没有人鼓掌，因为实在是难听。他也尴尬的不知道接下来要做什么，气氛凝固了„„ 终于，他捧了盆芦荟(注意，不是玫瑰，不是百合，是芦荟～～)奔向了我们院一个女生，还跪下了，说:请当我女朋友～～ 那女生大窘，说:不好意思，我想我和你说清楚了，我都不怎么认识你。谢谢你这么勇敢，大家给他点掌声, 我们就笑了„„ 那男生尴尬地走了。 手机有种软件不知有人知道不，安装在自己手机上，可以给自己发短信，发信人可以自己调，调成谁你的手机就显示是谁发的，当然他本人实际上并没发，扣的也是你的话费 上面背景，不分割 一同学新买手机，除了打电话发短信其他功能都未开发，让我帮他开通网络安装些软件啥的，我帮他搞定后百无聊赖，于是安装了上述那个软件 接着查他通讯录，好家伙，有7、80人，很多姓氏和他一样，我想应该都是他亲戚，本着整整他的心态，我编了条短信“XX，我是二叔，今晚找你有事，来XX公园门口等我”，找了一下，有个备注二叔的，便以他二叔名义发了，接着我一脸天真无害热心善良地说“xx，你有短信～”我同学把手机拿了过去，看了下，也没说什么 第二天，我那同学来到学校，脸色惨白，一语不发，在我们几个好哥们一起开导下他终于说出了他昨晚的经历:昨天他回家，跟他爸说了短信的事，他爸立刻震惊了，拿过手机看了良久，哆哆嗦嗦地说:你„„你二叔„„已经去世快半年了呀～我一直„„一直忘了跟你说„„ 吃完中午饭的时候，躺床上无聊，便去洗了两个苹果。由于平时跟朋友之间开惯了玩笑，洗完之后拿着问我妈:“吃不,” 我妈说吃，便把手伸了过来。 然后我HLL的来了一句，“叫哥。” 叫哥。。。 天空中有乌鸦飘过 今天在公厕见到俩小孩，初中生样子，就称A和B吧。 A说:你知道不，C男和D女上床了。 B大惊失色:真的假的，D敢和C上床啊,～ A说:怎么不敢啊, B吼道:C有肾结石啊～她不怕C把石头射出来啊～ 把石头射出来„„ 可能女生不知道，我们男浴室的浴池的水是用锅炉的蒸汽加热的 我那同学的叔叔去洗澡，水有点烫，勉强能下到水里。池子里面也有很多人，高潮来了。 我那同学叔叔洗的正欢，突然来了阵屁，冒了很多的泡泡。～～～周围的人吓的赶紧往池子外跑，边跑还边骂:妈的～水这么烫还加热，想烫死我呀 军训期间晚上睡觉，有个关系很好的同学A睡不着，来我床上和我聊天，我们正聊着教官突然查房，灵机一动把他塞在我的被子里了。教官真是眼贼，一下子把我被子掀开了。 A不知道哪根劲掉啦，冲我喊了一声“亲爱的”教官傻了。我也傻啦冲教官喊了一声:“怎么，没见过啊～～” 教官一脸黑线的走了。 某日邻居家弟弟看到新闻，说一个小孩把头卡到小巷子里，拿不出来了。弟弟一边哈哈大笑，一边说，这孩子，怎么这么傻。 我爸淡淡的说了句，还笑人家呢，不晓得是谁，小时候把头卡在痰盂里拿不出来 头卡在痰盂里 拿不出来 啊哈哈哈哈 我们隔壁宿舍有一牛X人士，长相嘛，说的好听些，一般般，正常些，巨寒碜。。难听些，那我就不知道怎么形容了。这哥们儿，兜里就剩100块钱，也得拿70去找Harlot。人称嫖哥。有一天嫖哥家里给生活费了，有个2千多吧，就打算去找个Harlot去去火，到一发廊(你们懂的，不正规的)。看上一个，欲惯例之，人家一看他那样，死活不干，本来一次也就200块钱，他都出800了，人家还是不同意，嫖哥大怒，MD老子有钱，还找不到一鸡。。就换了一家夜总会，又看上一个，人家MM一开始也不同意，无奈MM太漂亮了，嫖哥一鸡冻把2千块钱都拿出来了，女孩明显心动了，就说，干事也行，但必须关上灯～进包间，宽衣解带，MM可能实在受不了，就说，大哥，还是算了吧，今儿不太方便，嫖哥一听不干了，MD老子都进来了，还能反悔，欲强上之，女孩马上就哭了，说大哥我错了，对不起，对不起。。钱我退您，我再给您2千，求您放过我吧。。。 我两个朋友AB，男，两人去看世博会，天气太热，而且已经基本上被挤傻了, 于是两个人就琢磨着怎么能省时省事。 经过一番思考以后决定装残疾人走残疾人通道。 装残疾人难度应该不算大， 但问题是没有残疾证总是难以漫天过海，所以必须找个让人不能拒绝的理由， 于是乎两人商量还是小儿麻痹吧，我见这对两人表演过，绝对都是小CASE， 但问题来了，两个人一起装小儿麻痹嫌疑也有点大了，所以犹豫了半天还是放弃了 这时，一个人提议说要不你装盲人吧，一人负责给另一个导盲，两个人说这个好 这俩正兴高采烈地讨论细节，并开始装了起来 旁边路过的一个大爷果断地送来了高潮 “孩子，精神可嘉啊，眼睛看不见了也来看世博,” 眼睛看不见了也来看世博, 大学念中医,有两个朋友是体育特长生(小D小K),成绩不好,人缘不错,一次考中医养生学,班上绩点达人牛哥提前交卷回宿舍发答案到她俩的手机. 然后我们考完出来时,小D问我古代是不是有个叫"踏雪归来"的名人? 我一头雾水,中医么,课本上经常会出现"XX道人"XX士"之类的浑号,可没听说过啥"踏雪归来"阿. 这时小K补充说"那个简答题里好多答案都是踏雪归来说什么什么的" 这时边上冷冷的飘来:那是牛哥的网名...网名... 原来牛哥为了速度从Q上发她俩手机,显示都是[踏雪归来说:~答案若干~] 于是那俩傻人满卷子的写了踏雪归来说:。。。还以为是医学史上某高人呢~ 众人黑线|||~ 结局是她俩那科竟然都过了,改卷的小老头对着满卷子的踏雪归来说+正确答案,大概以为是奇才吧~~ 高中，男生。校门口突然装了几个TT贩售机。高中生么，比较好奇，就趁月黑风高买了几个回来研究。进行了一番实物教学的科普。 双休日回来，一室友A拉住B就要打，问原因，A含泪讲了: 原来他回家的时候，B偷偷把一个TT塞到了A脏衣服的裤兜里。A到家以后，他妈洗衣服，就翻出来了，大惊，问是咋回事。 要说A真是处变不惊啊，迅速地编出了理由:门口大学生发的，我也不知道是啥，就装回来了。 我们听到这儿，都对A很膜拜，行啊，你小子，真能编。 谁知他哭丧着脸说，哪儿啊～B这个混蛋塞的是个用过的～我妈问我是那个大学生用了，还是你用了, 话说某日同学A和同学B两人去市中心买东西，回来时公交车上人超多，上车时这俩就死命地往上挤(人多，上了车也只能在门口站着)。这时，A发现有人在偷他的手机，大怒，趁着车门还没关上之时，华丽地转身，一脚把那小偷送下了车，然后车门关上，公交车开走。此君得意洋洋地转过身，发现周围人都在看他，遂骂了一句“妈的，居然敢偷我东西～”大家恍然大悟。 高潮来了，听A说完，B同学一摸自己的口袋，满脸哀怨的吼了句“妈的～你把我手机踹下去了～” 运动会的时候看到一个老外在那儿认真的看运动会，我很想和老外用英语聊聊天，于是我鼓起勇气走过去对他说“Are you good at sports?”满以为终于可以和老外用英语聊天了，结果他给我来了一句半吊子的“马马虎虎”,当时我也不知是那根筋达错了，也H华丽丽来了一句“索嘎” 大一的时候一直到了期试才意识到要去找自习室了。无奈刚看了两页书花痴室友就跟我絮絮叨叨隔壁有个帅哥如何如何~ 忍无可忍，跟她一起到隔壁教室门外，让她指给我看。我冲进去对那个“帅哥”说:出来一下。然后跟他说“我室友说你很帅，想认识一下”。室友红着脸，我心里暗喜觉得自己成就了美满姻缘，岂料室友说“你叫错人了～～” 我*&,%„„?#?„„??%„„* 但是我很快镇定下来对“帅哥”说“不好意思啊，能麻烦你进去把旁边的同学叫出来么,” 朋友是世博警察。 一日，他上班后，接到一起报警。报警人为一非上海籍中年妇女，说自己小孩掉了。 这事情吧，天天有。朋友还碰到一个旅行团里面一个人，逛三天掉三天的。于是他很淡定的开始做笔录。 身高啊，衣着啊，乱七八糟的。然后他问道:什么时候掉的啊, 妇女说:昨天吧。 他:昨天,～～～ 妇女:恩。昨天下午。不见了之后我也没多想。然后继续玩，然后回酒店睡，今天还没回来。我就来报警了。 于是我朋友在风中凌乱了。 昨天。继续玩。睡觉。 已经过去24+个小时了。。。 女友表哥说，自己在北京上大学的时候，有一个同学特别喜欢浮夸，一次在饭桌上大家聊到鲍鱼，他马上插嘴，说了一句非常雷人的话:“鲍鱼!好东西啊，我爸经常带我去吃～味道特别好～就是————鱼刺儿太多了～～” 鲍鱼。。。鱼刺。。太多了。。。 我家一共生了三个，那时重男轻女嘛，所以我的弟弟妹妹都很小，不知道为什么，我弟弟讲话总是嗲声嗲气的，我们都开玩笑叫他妹妹，有一天，我们看电视，我想跟他开个玩笑，我说:妹妹啊，帮我倒杯水啊~，他哪里肯，就说我不是你妹妹什么的，我和我真的妹妹就一直说他，后来他真急了，我就跑去倒水，结果等我走到房间门口，我看见我弟弟躺在被子里，对我妹妹说，你过来，我给你看男人的证据„ 男人的证据„„ 的证据„ 我和表哥一般大，所以从幼儿园到中学都是一起去上学，他老欺负同学，我看不惯，所以老和他打架„ 小一时老师要求每天写一篇日记，交上去的无外乎都是“拣钱”、“学雷锋”等等，一个月以后就没什么可写的了，于是想了一个好主意„ 一周之后老师找到我，说怎么每天你都是写把哥哥打了呀,要再不换新的，作业就给零分了。 我无限惶恐啊，回到家思索好久，写完了日记。第二天老师崩溃了，我写的是“哥哥被我打了”„ 我有一个高位瘫痪的同学，坐着那种霍金经常做的那种自动的轮椅。一天我看见他坐着轮椅去上课，周围围了一些同学在和她快乐攀谈，我突然觉得自己应该发扬一下自己团结同学的精神，高潮来了———我就蹦蹦跳跳的跑到他面前，但是突然不知道该说什么好，就冒出了一句自己都想扇自己的一句话:唉，***(她的名字)，你起来我坐会。 你起来我坐会。 我坐会。 坐会。 坐会。 会。。。。 刚和战友吹牛，突然想起08年抗震时的事„那时各企业厂家慰问的物品种类繁多，其中就有风云一时的三鹿奶粉，由于是一线谁留后就有谁接受地方慰问的物品，三鹿慰问那天刚好是后勤一科级干部(小气出了名的)留后，慰问的十几箱奶粉，全放自己帐篷里，没事就自己喝，当时部队也不知道。三个月后部队回来。在各大媒体报道的前几天，他华丽丽的住院了。三鹿你也算是做了会好事 在我还是小孩子的时候,我是我们那院子的孩子王,当时有纯洁小萝丽一枚,总跟在我屁股后面,虽然总被欺负。那时,经常会指挥小弟们帮着我满地找绳子,小萝丽也会帮着找。找好之后,干什么呢?于是,我让小萝丽背靠电线杆,然后我们一群小孩子冲上去上下齐手,把她绑个严严实实。我们则一拥而散,她有时自己弄开,有时哭着求救~然而第二天又会屁颠的找绳子...直到我上中学搬家了 上大学时候的夏天，男生们总是喜欢在洗刷间直接脱光光洗澡，一般会是在熄灯后，那时候楼下大门已经锁了。。。。 有天我与寝室老大正在涂满一身洗衣液搓泡泡的时候，一个女的(大门已经锁了)突然出现在洗刷间，拿了一个盆子里面貌似是一堆男士衣服，就在旁边慢悠悠的洗，视我们于无物，于是在用盆子挡住关键部位石化了一会儿，我与老大急急忙忙用清水冲完跑回宿舍，老六听说此事，兴致大起，在寝室脱光后拿着洗刷用品慢悠悠去了洗刷间，过了一会儿就垂头丧气的回来，往床上一躺，一句话也不说。。。。。。 经过百般安慰，答应明天请吃午饭的前提，说了一下他的遭遇‘’‘ 当他出现在那女生面前，视那女生为无物的时候，女生很淡定的看看了老六说了一句话:“切。。。。。牙签”。。。。。。。。。 大家基本都经历军训过那种趴在地上扛着步枪瞄靶子的阶段，一排一排的定在那半个小时不准动。话说我们军训是在正规的训练基地，大家都在那安静地瞄准，这时一同学喊了，说是要去上厕所。教官以为他是要偷懒，没批准。过了几分钟，高潮来了，那同学大喊一声:“报告，我要上厕所，马上要拉出来了，不信你问后面的同学，我已经放了好几个屁了。”然后„„„„还能有啥然后啊，都这样了„„„„还能不批准么, 高中的时候高一高二在A楼 高三和实验楼在B楼 A和B两个楼相隔不远 但是中间有一个很陡的 约 40度的坡 某个冬天 我还在高二的时候 全班集体去实验楼做实验 去的时候确实没问题... 但是偏偏这节课下雪了 大家都知道雪后的坡很滑 下课回班级时 全班人不是站着一个拉一个走下去 不然就是坐着滑下去 偏偏一女生站着滑下去 脑残不在这里 她非站在纸上... 出乎大家意料之外 滑的很好 但是滑了一会 她害怕了 想要坐着 结果姿势不对 从上半坡"嗖"的一声飞了出去...啪的一下 头朝下趴着大字型摔在半坡 这女生由于惯性 啊啊啊叫着滑下去的 很正常吧...但是你要知道雪是有层度的 从我们侧面看 就是一个张着大嘴的铲雪机啃着一路的雪冲到了最下坡 到下坡还拐了下弯才刹住 我们班集体注视着全过程 等她起来的时候 嘴里塞得满满的雪... 淘宝网购一双鞋子，因为我之前在专柜买了一双同款正品，穿上很舒服，专柜上断码，所以在网上拍了一双。 3天后，货到，打开同原装对比后，崩溃，颜色做工明显差别很大，右鞋内部开胶扭曲，仿太假了，协商退货，为了不影响卖家第二次欺骗其他买家，我精心的把鞋子重新包装了一遍，而且又把鞋子内部，用我们公司的包装纸塞的满满的，以增加鞋子立体感，退货成功。 由于灰常喜欢这款鞋子，我又从网上另一家店，比前一家店高200的价格拍下此款靴子，而且这家店打着“7天无理由包退换，假一赔十”等振奋人心的信用招牌，3天后。货到，拆开包装，看到鞋子的一刹那，昏厥。 从靴子桶内抠出我们公司包装纸，看到右脚鞋子内部开胶扭曲...... 我在澳大利亚工作. 我的一位中国同事H刚来澳洲的时候英文不是很好, 却赶上要接前台电话, 很紧张 一次, 有人打电话要找同事K, 但K正好休假. 是H接的电话. 当H告诉对方K在休假, 对方显得很着急, 对H说”Evacuate!.....”. H不知是什么意思, 又不好意思问, 于是让对方给K写Email, 说K会在第二天回复. 对方更着急了, 不停的喊” Evacuate!”, H就不停的让她写Email. 最后, 对方没了, 大喊”Fire! Run! (着火了, 快跑!)”, H这才反应 过来Evacuate原来是紧急疏散的意思, 原来我们公司楼层的火警铃坏了, 是楼上公司的人通知我们疏散, (K是我们公司这方面的负责人). 要是真的等K第二天再查EMAIL, 就等着收尸吧 我宿舍下铺是我们班学习委员，因为某门课没有课代表，所以老师有事一般通知学习委员。 刚才学委接到一个电话，对面那人上来就说了句今天晚上不上课了。 学委纳闷，这是谁啊，也不报一下自己姓名，再说请假要找，找学委有啥用。 于是学委回答说，你谁啊，不说是谁我挂了啊 对面说，我是那谁....... 还没说完学委打断了她，然后说，请假找班主任，找我没用，我不能开假条 对面怒了，吼了句，我是你们老师.............. 原来是老师通知晚上课取消了的 当时学委大汗.......... 急忙说了句，老师您声音真年轻.............. 话说暑假从班群里面弄了些种子，全是些被天朝视为禁片的影视资料，有关于八九的，天灾的，贪污的，而且大多都是外国拍摄的。 觉得这些片子挺不错的，特别是一部日本拍的关于八九的，挺震撼的，印象特深，就打算给我老爸也看一下，于是把种子拷到家里的电脑。走那天爸妈送我去火车站，上火车前突然想起还没给他交代，时间紧迫也就没详说，只留了句我放了些日本拍的禁片种子在那个文件夹里面，挺好看的。然后就匆匆上车了。 晚上在火车上正看糗百，突然收到了老爸的短信:儿子，你是不是放错了啊，怎么我下了两部都不是啊, 我瞬间石化了，不过这还不是gc,在我还没来得及解释，老爸的第二条短信又到了:还有啊，这种事以后还是我们私下交流，不要再当到你妈面说了，今天你走了她感慨了好长时间„„ 额„„我彻底凌乱了„„这下误会整大了 现在回想起才觉得上车后隔着窗子怎么看外面老爸老妈的表情老是就觉得不对头啊„„ 我们系主任，此人有愤青潜质，总感叹社会的不和谐，今天他给我们上专业课，不知怎么谈到了科技创新，他说:“三聚氰胺你们知道吧，那东西原先学名叫人造蛋白，它可是前段时间获得过国家科技进步二等奖的啊，现在呢，出了问题，倒霉的不是那帮科学家，而是三鹿老总，party真是英明啊„„”，这消息封锁之严密，导致我们一群人听完后直接在底下震撼加凌乱了„„国家科技进步二等奖啊，你让我情何以堪„„不知道圣元得过什么奖„„ 听奶奶讲，爸爸从小就爱吃糖，家里的糖无论放在哪里，都会被迅速吃光。而我，继承了这个优良传统„我特喜欢糖，无论红的、白的或者糖果，一天一斤绝对没问题„ 小时候家里总会买一些瓜子糖果之类的放篮子里，等有客人就拿出来，但往往奶奶去拿时发现糖已经没了„长大以后医生说不让我吃甜品，再加上学习，所以也就变正常了。 过年了，一大家族都汇聚在奶奶家，和姐姐弟弟玩儿了一会儿，突然糖瘾爆发，于是蹑手蹑脚的去厢房找篮子，结果进去后发现一个熟悉的身影„ 爸爸神情一愣，然后往我手里塞糖，“这巧克力的不错，装好我们回去吧”，爸爸停顿一下“别告诉你奶奶”„ (英文版 ) Two regulations promulgated for implementation is in the party in power for a long time and the rule of law conditions, the implementation of comprehensive strictly strategic plan, implementation in accordance with the rules and discipline to manage the party, strengthen inner-party supervision of major initiatives. The two regulations supporting each other, the < code > adhere to a positive advocate, focusing on morality is of Party members and Party leading cadres can see, enough to get a high standard; < rule > around the party discipline, disciplinary ruler requirements, listed as "negative list, focusing on vertical gauge, draw the party organizations and Party members do not touch the" bottom line ". Here, the main from four square face two party rules of interpretation: the first part introduces two party Revised regulations the necessity and the revision process; the second part is the interpretation of the two fundamental principles of the revision of laws and regulations in the party; the third part introduces two party regulations modified the main changes and needs to grasp several key problems; the fourth part on how to grasp the implementation of the two regulations of the party. < code > and < Regulations > revised the necessity and revised history of the CPC Central Committee the amendment to the Chinese Communist Party members and leading cadres honest politics several guidelines > and < Chinese Communist Party discipline and Punishment Regulations > column 1 by 2015 to strengthen party laws and regulations focus. Two party regulations revision work lasted a Years, pooling the wisdom of the whole party, ideological consensus, draw historical experience, respect for the wisdom of our predecessors, which reflects the unity of inheritance and innovation; follow the correct direction, grasp the limited goals, adhere to the party's leadership, to solve the masses of the people reflect a focus on the problem. The new revision of the < code > and < rule >, reflects the party's 18 and the eighth session of the third, the spirit of the fourth plenary session, reflecting the experience of studying and implementing the General Secretary Xi Jinping series of important speech, reflects the party's eighteen years comprehensive strictly practice. (a) revised two regulations of the party need of < the ICAC guidelines > in < in 1997 Leaders as members of the Communist Party of China clean politics certain criteria (Trial) > based on revised, the promulgation and implementation of January 2010, to strengthen the construction of the contingent of leading cadres play an important role. But with the party to manage the party strictly administering the deepening, has not been able to fully meet the actual needs. Content is too complicated, "eight prohibition, 52 are not allowed to" hard to remember, and also difficult to put into practice; the second is concisely positive advocated by the lack of prohibited provisions excessive, no autonomy requirements; the third is banned terms and discipline law, both with the party discipline, disciplinary regulations repeat and Criminal law and other laws and regulations repeat; the fourth is to "clean" the theme is not prominent, not for the existing problems, and is narrow, only needle of county-level leading cadres above. < rule > is in 1997 < Chinese Communist Party disciplinary cases (Trial) > based on revision, in December 2003 the promulgation and implementation, to strengthen the construction of the party play very important role. Along with the development of the situation, which many provisions have been unable to fully meet the comprehensive strictly administering the practice needs. One is Ji law, more than half of the provisions and criminal law and other countries laws and regulations Repetition; two is the political discipline regulations is not prominent, not specific, for violation of the party constitution, damage the authority of Party Constitution of misconduct lack necessary and serious responsibility to pursue; third is the main discipline for the leading cadres, does not cover all Party members. Based on the above situation, need to < the criterion of a clean and honest administration > and < rule > the two is likely to be more relevant regulations first amendment. By revising, really put the authority of Party discipline, the seriousness in the party tree and call up the majority of Party members and cadres of the party constitution of party compasses party consciousness. (II) two party regulations revision process the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China attaches great importance to two regulations revision . Xi Jinping, general books recorded in the Fifth Plenary Session of the eighth session of the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, on the revised regulations < > made clear instructions. According to the central deployment, the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection from 2014 under six months begin study two regulations revision. The Standing Committee of the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection 4 review revised. Comrade Wang Qishan 14 times held a special meeting to study two regulations revision, amendment clarifies the direction, major issues of principle, path and target, respectively held a forum will listen to part of the province (area) secretary of the Party committee, Secretary of the Discipline Inspection Commission, part of the central ministries and state organs Department The first party committee is mainly responsible for people, views of experts and scholars and grassroots party organizations and Party members. Approved by the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, on 7 September 2015, the general office of the Central Committee of the Party issued a notice to solicit the provinces (autonomous regions, municipalities) Party, the central ministries and commissions, state ministries and commissions of the Party (party), the General Political Department of the military, every 3 people organization of Party of two regulations revision opinion. Central Commission for Discipline Inspection of extensive solicitation of opinions, careful study, attracting, formed a revised sent reviewers. In October 8 and October 12, Central Committee Political Bureau Standing Committee and the Political Bureau of the Central Committee After consideration of the two regulations revised draft. On October 18, the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China formally issued two regulations. Can say, two laws amendment concentrated the wisdom of the whole party, embodies the party. Second, < code > and < Regulations > revision of the basic principles of two party regulations revision work and implement the party's eighteen, ten eight plenary, the spirit of the Fourth Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee and General Secretary Xi Jinping important instructions on the revised < low political criterion > and < Regulations >, highlighting the ruling party characteristics, serious discipline, the discipline quite in front of the law, based on the current, a long-term, advance as a whole, with Bu Xiuding independent < rule > and < rule >. Main principle is: first, adhere to the party constitution to follow. The constitution about discipline and self-discipline required specific, awaken the party constitution of party compasses party consciousness, maintaining the authority of the constitution. General Secretary Xi Jinping pointed out that "no rules, no side round. Party constitution is the fundamental law, the party must follow the general rules. In early 2015 held the eighth session of the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection Fifth Plenary Session of the 16th Central Committee, Xi Jinping again pointed out that constitution is the party must follow the general rules, but also the general rules." the revision of the < code > and < rule > is Method in adhere to the regulations established for the purpose of combining rule of virtue is to adhere to the party constitution as a fundamental to follow, the constitution authority set up, wake up the party constitution and party rules the sense of discipline, the party constitution about discipline and self-discipline specific requirements. 4 second is to adhere to in accordance with the regulations governing the party and the party. The Party of rule of virtue "de", mainly refers to the party's ideals and beliefs, excellent traditional style. The revised the < code > closely linked to the "self-discipline", insisting on the positive initiative, for all members, highlight the "vital few", emphasized self-discipline, focusing on the morality, and the majority of Party members and the ideological and moral standards. The revised < > Ji method separately, Ji, Ji Yan to Method, as a "negative list", emphasizing the heteronomy, focusing on vertical gauge. Is this one high and one low, a positive reaction, the strict party discipline and practice results transformation for the integration of the whole party to observe moral and discipline requirements, for the majority of Party members and cadres provides benchmarking and ruler. Third, insist on to. In view of the problems existing in the party at the present stage, the main problems of Party members and cadres in the aspect of self-discipline and abide by the discipline to make clearly defined, especially the party's eighteen years strict political discipline and political rules, organization and discipline and to implement the central eight provisions of the spirit against the four winds and other requirements into Disciplinary provisions. Not one pace reachs the designated position, focusing on in line with reality, pragmatic and effective. After the revision of major changes, major changes in the < code > and < rule > modified and needs to grasp several key problems (a) < code > < code > adhere to according to regulations governing the party and party with morals in combination, for at the present stage, the leadership of the party members and cadres and Party members in existing main problems of self-discipline, put forward principles, requirements and specifications, showing Communists noble moral pursuit, reflected at all times and in all over the world ethics from high from low 5 common requirements. One is closely linked to the "self-discipline", removal and no direct relation to the provisions of . the second is adhere to a positive advocate, "eight prohibition" 52 are not allowed to "about the content of the" negative list moved into synchronization amendment < cases >. Three is for all the party members, will apply object from the leadership of the party members and cadres to expand to all Party members, fully embodies the comprehensive strictly required. The fourth is prominent key minority, seize the leadership of the party members and cadres is the key, and put forward higher requirements than the ordinary Party members. Five is to simplify, and strive to achieve concise, easy to understand, easy to remember. The revised < code > is the ruling Party since the first insists on a positive advocate forAll Party members and the self-discipline norms, moral declaration issued to all members of the party and the National People's solemn commitment. > < criterion of a clean and honest administration consists of 4 parts, 18, more than 3600 words. After the revision of the < code >, a total of eight, 281 words, including lead, specification and Party member cadre clean fingered self-discipline norms, etc. Part 3 members low-cost clean and self-discipline, the main contents can be summarized as "four must" "eight code". Lead part, reiterated on ideal and faith, fundamental purpose, the fine traditions and work style, noble sentiments, such as "four must" the principle of requirements, strong tone of self-discipline, The higher request for 6 and supervised tenet, the foothold in permanent Bao the party's advanced nature and purity, to reflect the revised standards requirements. Members of self-discipline norms around the party members how to correctly treat and deal with the "public and private", "cheap and rot" thrifty and extravagance "bitter music", put forward the "four norms". Party leader cadre clean fingered self-discipline norms for the leadership of the party members and cadres of the "vital few", around the "clean politics", from civil servant of the color, the exercise of power, moral integrity, a good family tradition and other aspects of the leadership of the party members and cadres of the "four norms" < > < norm norm. "The Party member's self-discipline norms" and "party members and leading cadre clean fingered self-discipline norms," a total of eight, collectively referred to as the "eight". "Four must" and "eight" of the content from the party constitution and Party's several generation of leaders, especially Xi Jinping, general secretary of the important discussion, refer to the "three discipline and eight points for attention" statements, and reference some embody the Chinese nation excellent traditional culture essence of epigrams. (2) the revised regulations, the main changes in the revised Regulations > to fully adapt to the strictly requirements, reflects the according to the regulations governing the law of recognition of deepening, the realization of the discipline construction and Jin Ju. < rule > is party a ruler, members of the basic line and follow. And the majority of Party members and cadres of Party organizations at all levels should adhere to the bottom line of thinking, fear discipline, hold the bottom line, as a preventive measure, to keep the party's advanced nature and purity. 1, respect for the constitution, refinement and discipline. Revised < rule > from comprehensive comb physical constitution began, the party constitution and other regulations of the Party of Party organizations and Party discipline requirements refinement, clearly defined in violation of the party constitution will be in accordance with regulations to give the corresponding disciplinary action. The original 10 categories of misconduct, integration specification for political discipline, discipline, honesty and discipline masses Ji Law and discipline and discipline and other six categories, the content of < rule > real return to Party discipline, for the majority of Party members and listed a "negative list. 7 2, highlighting the political discipline and political rules. > < Regulations according to the stage of the discipline of outstanding performance, emphasizing political discipline and political rules, organization and discipline, in opposition to the party's leadership and the party's basic theory, basic line, basic program and basic experience, the basic requirement of behavior made prescribed punishment, increase the cliques, against the organization such as violation of the provisions, to ensure that the central government decrees and the Party of centralized and unified. 3, adhere to strict discipline in the law and discipline In front, Ji separated. Revised < Regulations > adhere to the problem oriented, do Ji separated. Any national law existing content, will not repeat the provisions, the total removal of 79 and criminal law, repeat the content of the public security management punishment law, and other laws and regulations. In the general reiterated that party organizations and Party members must conscientiously accept the party's discipline, die van comply with national laws and regulations; at the same time, to investigate violations of Party members and even criminal behavior of Party discipline and responsibility, > < Regulations distinguish five different conditions, with special provisions were made provisions, so as to realize the connection of Party discipline and state law. 4, reflect Wind building and anti-corruption struggle of the latest achievements. < rule > the party's eighteen years implement the spirit of the central provisions of the eight, against the requirements of the "four winds" and transformation for disciplinary provisions, reflecting the style construction is always on the road, not a gust of wind. In the fight against corruption out of new problems, increase the trading rights, the use of authority relatives profit and other disciplinary terms. Prominent discipline of the masses, the new against the interests of the masses and ignore the demands of the masses and other disciplinary terms and make provisions of the disposition and the destruction of the party's close ties with the masses. Discipline to protect the party's purpose. 8 of these regulations, a total of three series, Chapter 15, 178, more than 24000 words, after the revision of the regulations a total of 3 series, Chapter 11, 133, 17000 words, divided into "general" and "special provisions" and "Supplementary Provisions" Part 3. Among them, add, delete, modify the provisions of the proportion of up to nearly 90%. 1, the general general is divided into five chapters. The first chapter to the regulations of the guiding ideology, principles and scope of application of the provisions, highlight the strengthening of the party constitution consciousness, maintenance the authority of Party Constitution, increase the party organizations and Party members must abide by the party constitution, Yan Centralized centralized, would examine at all levels of the amended provisions implementing and maintaining Party discipline, and consciously accept the party discipline, exemplary compliance with national laws and regulations. The second chapter of discipline concept, disciplinary action types and effects of the regulations, will be a serious warning from the original a year for a year and a half; increase the Party Congress representative, by leaving the party above (including leave probation) punishment, the party organization should be terminated its representative qualification provisions. The third chapter of the disciplinary rules of use prescribed in the discipline rectifying process, non convergence, not close hand classified as severely or heavier punishment. "Discipline straighten "At least eighteen years of five years, these five years is to pay close attention to the provisions of the central eight implementation and anti -" four winds ". The fourth chapter on suspicion of illegal party disciplinary distinguish five different conditions, with special provisions were made provisions, to achieve effective convergence of Party and country 9 method. < rule > the provisions of Article 27, Party organizations in the disciplinary review found that party members have committed embezzlement, bribery, dereliction of duty dereliction of duty and other criminal law act is suspected of committing a crime shall give cancel party posts, probation or expelled from the party. The second is < Regulations > Article 28 the provisions of Party organizations in the disciplinary review But found that party members are stipulated in the criminal law, although not involved in a crime shall be investigated for Party discipline and responsibility should be depending on the specific circumstances shall be given a warning until expelled punishment. This situation and a difference is that the former regulation behavior has been suspected of a crime, the feeling is quite strict, and the latter for the behavior not involving crime, only the objective performance of the provisions of the criminal code of behavior, but the plot is a crime to slightly. < Regulations > the 29 provisions, Party organizations in the discipline review found that party members and other illegal behavior, affect the party's image, the damage to the party, the state and the people's interests, we should depend on the situation Seriousness given disciplinary action. The loss of Party members, seriously damaging the party's image of behavior, should be given expelled from the party. At this article is party member is in violation of the criminal law outside the other illegal acts, such as violates the public security administration punishment law, customs law, financial laws and regulations behavior. The fourth is < cases > Article 32 stipulates, minor party members and the circumstances of the crime, the people's Procuratorate shall make a decision not to initiate a prosecution, or the people's court shall make a conviction and exempted from criminal punishment shall be given within the party is removed from his post, probation or expelled from the party. Party members and crime, sheets were fined in accordance with For acts; the principal Ordinance amended the provisions of the preceding paragraph. This is the new content, in order to achieve Ji method effective convergence. Five is < > the thirty third article 10 of the provisions, the Party member due to an intentional crime is sentenced to criminal law (including probation) sheets or additional deprivation of political rights; due to negligence crime and was sentenced to three years or more (excluding three years) a penalty, shall give expelled punishment. Due to negligence crime is convicted and sentenced to three years (including three years) in prison or be sentenced to public surveillance, detention, shall in general be expelled from the party. For the individual may not be expelled from the party, should control Approval. This is followed and retained the original > < Regulations the provisions of punishment party authorization rules and report to a level party organizations. For is "party members with criminal acts, and by the criminal punishment, generally should be expelled from the party". The fifth chapter of probationary Party member of the discipline and discipline after missing members of the treatment and punishment decisions, such as the implementation of the provisions, clear the related party discipline and punishment decision made after, for duties, wages and other relevant alteration formalities for the longest time. 2, sub sub section will the original regulations of 10 categories of acts of violation of discipline integration revised into 6 categories, respectively, in violation of the punishments for acts of political discipline "in violation of discipline behavior of punishment" in violation of integrity of disciplinary action points "of violation punishments for acts of mass discipline" "the violation of work discipline, punishment" in violation of discipline of life behavior punishment "6 chapters. 3, annex" Supplementary Provisions "clear authority making supplementary provisions of, cases of interpretative organ, as well as regulations implementation time and retroactivity etc.. 11 (3) learning understanding > < regulations needs to grasp several key problems The first problem -- about the violation of political discipline behavior > < new ordinance chapter 6 the political discipline column for the six disciplines, that is the main opposition to Party leadership and the opposition of the basic theory, basic line, basic program and basic experience, basic requirements of misconduct made provisions of the disposition, especially the eighteen since the CPC Central Committee put forward the Yan Mingzheng treatment of discipline and political rules requirements and practical achievements transformation for Discipline article, increase the false debate central policies, cliques, against the organization review, make no discipline of the principle of harmony terms. These are the party's eighteen years in comprehensive strictly Process combined with the practice of rich content. (1) false debate the central policies and undermine the Party of centralized and unified the problem is made in accordance with the provisions of the party constitution. Constitution in general programme requirements adhere to democratic centralism is one of the requirements of the construction of the party must adhere to the four cardinal. Application of this principle is not only the party the basic organization principle and is also the mass line in party life, it requires that we must fully develop inner-party democracy, respect for the dominant position of Party members, safeguarding the Party member democratic rights, give full play to the enthusiasm and creativity of the party organizations at all levels and Party members, at the same time, also must implement the right concentration, ensure the party's mission < the chaos in unity and concerted action to ensure that the party's decision to get quickly and effectively implementing. The Party Central Committee formulated the major principles and policies, through different channels and ways, fully listen to the party organizations and Party members of the opinions and suggestions, but 12 is some people face to face not to say back blather "" will not say, after the meeting said, "" Taiwan does not say, and nonsense ", in fact, not only disrupt the people thought, some causing serious consequences, the damage to the Party of the centralized and unified, hinder the central policy implementation, but also a serious violation of the democratic system of principles. There is no doubt that shall, in accordance with the Regulations > 4 Specified in Article 6 to give the appropriate punishment. For did not cause serious consequences, to give criticism and education or the corresponding tissue processing. (2) about the destruction of the party's unity < New Regulations > the forty eighth to fifty second article, to damage Party's unity unified and violation of political discipline, punishment situation made explicit provisions. Article 52 of the new "in the party get round group, gangs seek private gain, cliques, cultivate private forces or through the exchange of interests, for their own to create momentum and other activities to gain political capital, given a serious warning or withdraw from their party posts disposition; if the circumstances are serious, to give Leave a party to observation or expelled from the party. (3) on against the organization review of the provisions of the constitution, party loyalty honesty is party members must comply with the obligations. Members must obey the organization decision, shall not violate the organization decided encounters by asking questions to find organization, rely on the organization, shall not deceive the organization, against the organization. For example, after the investigation does not take the initiative to explain the situation, but to engage in offensive and defensive alliance, hiding the stolen money is against survey organization, is a violation of the behavior of political discipline. Article 24 of the original > < Regulations, although the provisions of the interference, hinder group review the behavior of the fabric can be severely or 13 Aggravated punishment, but did not put this kind of behavior alone as a discipline for qualitative amount of discipline. > < new regulations increase the Article 57, "anti organization review, one of the following acts, given a warning or serious warning; if the circumstances are relatively serious, giving removed from or placed on probation within the party post; if the circumstances are serious, give expelled from the party: (a) on supply or forged, destroyed, transfer, conceal evidence; (II) to prevent others expose, providing evidence Material; (III) harboring co personnel; (4) to the organization to provide false information, to hide the fact; (5) the him against the acts of the organization review. "< rule > add this clause to the Constitution requires more specific, the previous no punishment in accordance with the definite list and put forward clear punishment in accordance with. (4) about organizing or participating in superstitious activities as < Regulations > about engage in activities of feudal superstition obstruction of social management order" violations of Article 164 the provisions, but according to the original < rule > only in disrupting production, work, social life order The case to be disciplinary treatment, in other words, alone make the feudal superstition, organize or participate in the activities of feudal superstition of, does not constitute a violation. Which is not consistent with the requirements of our party's political party. > < new regulations in this change is, superstitious activities on the political discipline, increase the Article 58, is the organization of Party members, in superstitious activities included in violation of the negative list of political discipline deserves punishment, which and Party members should adhere to the correct political principle, political standpoint and viewpoint is consistent. 14 the second question about organization and discipline violation behavior of democratic centralism is our The party's fundamental organizational system. < New Regulations > Chapter 7 "in violation of the behavior of organizational discipline punishment" mainly for violation of democratic centralism, contrary to the "four obey the discipline behavior for source classification rules. Increased not in accordance with the relevant provisions or requirements to the organization for instructions to report on major issues; do not report truthfully report about personal matters; falsify personal archives; hide before joining the party serious mistakes; leading cadres in violation of the relevant provisions of the organization, will participate in the spontaneous formation of the old Xiang, Alumni Association, comrades in arms; to obtain illegal country residence abroad or foreign nationality, illegal for private frontier Documents such as discipline terms. (1) on the report truthfully report personal matters in 2010 the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China office, office of the State Council introduced < provisions on issues related to the leading cadres to report personal >, is clear about the request, deputy division level and above leading cadres should truthfully report changes in my marriage and spouse, children, moved to the country (territory), practitioners, income, real estate, investment and other matters, for failing to report, do not report, concealed and unreported, according to the seriousness of the case, giving criticism and education, and to make a correction within a time limit, shall be ordered to make a check, the commandment Jiemian conversation, informed criticism or jobs, free Post processing, constitute violations, in accordance with the relevant provisions shall be given a disciplinary sanction. But since the original < Regulations > and there is no corresponding specific terms, the violation of the regulations, do not report, as a false report about personal matters, there is no corresponding disciplinary action terms, in practice it is difficult to operate. In this regard, in order to solve is not reported, as a false report about personal matters 15 asked censure, the new < Regulations > add the Article 67 of violation of personal matters related to reporting requirements, report truthfully report the clear punishment basis, making this kind of violation behavior is no longer free drilling for Exhibition on matters of personal checks to verify and supervision of cadres, discipline review provides a powerful discipline guarantee. (2) about the illegal organization, to fellow, alumni, friends of the war will < regulations stipulated in Article 68 of >, leading cadres of the party in violation of relevant provisions of the organization, will participate in the spontaneous formation of fellow, Alumni Association, comrade in arms to give the punishment according to the seriousness of the case. Here special needs note is three points: this provision for only the leading cadres ", reflecting the high requirements of leading cadres; second violation in 2002, the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, the central Organization Department and the The relevant provisions of the General Political Department jointly issued the < off in leading cadres not to participate in the initiative to set up "the villagers would be" alumni "" comrades in arms organization notice >. That is to say, to the spontaneous formation of fellow, Alumni Association, comrades in arms will constitute the premise of discipline is a violation of the provisions of this. The notification specified, leading cadres are not allowed to participate in the spontaneous incorporation of fellow, alumni, between comrades association would like the organization and shall not bear the sorority Human and the organizer shall not hold the corresponding position in the sorority; shall not borrow machine woven "network" and engage in kiss sparsely, round and round the gangs, but not "align" "Jieyi Gold Orchid" behavior. The third is to emphasize here that shall be organized to participate in the initiative to set up the villager, Alumni Association, comrades in arms. The so-called 16 spontaneous was established mainly means without registration. Therefore, Party members include leading cadres in the normal range of fellow, alumni, comrades in the party is not a violation of the rules of Party discipline. The three problem about integrity violations discipline Lian Jie discipline has been eighteen years clean government and anti The focus of the work of corruption. This Ordinance to amend, honesty and discipline this biggest adjustment, the new content, most of which prescribed by the original < criterion of a clean and honest administration > 8 ban and 52 are not allowed into the basic this part. (1) the central eight provisions of the spirit and requirements into < New > in the regulations of the party's eighteen years, central resolutely implement the provisions of the eight and pay close attention to the node and intensive briefing, on public funds, private bus, public funds tourism, gifts of public funds, the big parade and lavish weddings and festive, illegal payment allowances and subsidies, illegal construction of buildings such as the original masses reflects the relatively strong, "four winds" problem of the Resolute rectification. But original < Regulations > to eat and drink, super standard reception and no clear and specific expression, new < rule > will implement eight Central provisions of the spirit of the problem increased to "clean cheap self-discipline" chapter, clear to exceed the standard, beyond the scope of the reception or borrow machine eating and drinking etc. some in violation of the provisions of the spirit of the eight central relevant persons responsible for punishment, once the violation will be according to the < rule > severely punished, binding, enhanced significantly. One is to add Article 87, about to obtain illegal, hold, and the actual use of the sports card, golf ball cards and other consumer card. Illegal access to private clubs made the punishment provisions. The second is increase the Article 97, has made provisions of the disposition of illegal self pay or 17 spamming allowances, subsidies and bonuses. The third is added to the Article 99, on violation of super standard, beyond the scope of the reception or borrow machine eat and drink to make the provisions of punishment. The fourth is to increase the Article 101, on the management of conference activities in violation of the provisions made sanctions regulations. The fifth is the increased Article 102, for violation of office space management provisions made the punishment provisions. Six is to split the original < rule > Article 78, formed article 98, Article 100 of public Models of tourism, violate the provisions on the administration of the use of discipline of the bus through the list of made a more detailed provisions, apply more operational. Seven is increased the article 96, in violation of the relevant provisions of the, to participate in public funds to pay for dinner, high consumption of entertainment, fitness activities and public funds to buy gift, send gifts to make the provisions of the disposition. On the violation of the central provisions of the spirit of the eight, in addition to > < new regulations into "violation of honesty and self-discipline" misconduct outside, is different with the original < Regulations >, revised < rule > clearly defined not only to disposition of the directly responsible persons, but also dispose of collar Guide responsibilities. (2) increased trading rights, use of authority or position influence as relatives and close to profit violation of the terms of the < New Regulations > absorption < clean politics several guidelines > the relevant provisions spirit, increase the "negative list, including trading rights, the functions and powers or duties of influence as relatives and staff around profit. Increase Article 81" mutual use of office or authority ring for each other and their spouses, children and their spouses and other relatives, around 18 personnel and other specific relationship between the people to seek benefits engage in trading rights, given a warning or serious warning Sanctions; if the circumstances are relatively serious, giving removed from or placed on probation within the party post; if the circumstances are serious, shall be expelled from the party. Increase Article 82 "connivance, acquiescence to the spouse, children and spouse etc. relatives and staff around the effect of Party members and cadres personal authority or position for personal gain, if the circumstances are relatively minor, given a warning or a serious warning; if the circumstances are relatively serious, giving removed from or placed on probation within the party post; if the circumstances are serious, the given Expelled from the party. Party members and cadres of the spouses, children and their spouses does the actual work and get salary or although the actual work but to receive significantly beyond the same rank salary standard, Party members and cadres informed fails to correct, in accordance with the provisions of the preceding paragraph. "(3) about the gifts, gifts misconduct from handling practices in recent years, engaged in official cadres received gifts, gifts problems more prominent. This has seriously affected the image of Party members and cadres, damaged the relations between the party and the masses, and is a hotbed of corruption, is really necessary for this kind of behavior to be disciplined. < rule > no on accepting gifts, gifts, Card consumption behavior to engage in simple "one size fits all", but the difference between the different separately. One is in accordance with the provisions of Article 83, accepting may affect the impartial enforcement of the official gifts, gifts, consumer cards to depending on the seriousness of the case shall be given disciplinary sanctions. That is to say, for may affect the fair execution of business gifts, gifts, consumer cards are not allowed to accept. 19 is in accordance with the provisions of Article 83, accepting was significantly higher than normal ceremony is still exchanges of gifts, gifts, consumer card to disciplinary action. This is new regulations that daily life is purely reciprocity, accepting the same thing, boys , fellow friends gifts, gifts, shopping cards, although and fair execution of business has nothing to do, also want to as the case shall be dealt with, the situation is obviously beyond normal reciprocity ". The so-called" reciprocity ", one is emphasizes the reciprocal in protocol. In other words is you to me how, I to you how, not only does not go. The second is to significantly exceeded the normal local economy level, customs and habits, economic capacity of individual gifts, gift value. Specific sanctions to according to the processing of a variety of factors to consider, as appropriate. The third is the root according to the provisions of Article 84," to Engaged in public service personnel and their spouses and children, children's spouses and other relatives and other specific relationship presented Ming Xianchao normal reciprocity of gifts, gifts, consumer card, if the circumstances are relatively serious, given a warning until probation. "In accordance with the above provisions, gift giving significantly beyond the normal reciprocity, giver constitute the discipline. (4) on illegal trading of stocks or of other regulations of securities investment < > Article 88 is engaged in punishment regulation of camp and activity in violation of the relevant provisions on. Among them, 3 will" buying and selling stocks or in other securities investment "column as one of disciplinary cases Out. First need to be clear, > < regulations did not change the provisions of the Ordinance. The ordinance of the provisions of the second paragraph of Article 77 provisions "who, in violation of the provisions of the sale of stocks" is one of the violation, and at the beginning of the first paragraph of this article "violation of 20 against the relevant provisions of the" textual representation of the repeat revision. In, just from the legislative technique removed the "personal" in violation of the provisions, content and not to change the original provisions. Need to clear is, "buy or sell a stock or of other securities investment" refers to violation of the relevant provisions refers to in April 2001, the Party Central Committee, the State Council promulgated the On the work of the party and government organs staff's personal investment in securities if dry provisions >. According to the provisions of Article 3, use of work time, office facilities, the sale of stocks and securities investment fund belongs to illegal behavior. The fourth question, about the violation of the masses of the disciplinary actions < new regulations > would violate public discipline behavior of a single set of a class of restored "three rules of discipline and eight note" in the discipline of the masses of excellent traditional. < New Regulations > Chapter 9 "to violate the masses of disciplinary action", mainly the destruction of the party's close ties with the masses of misconduct made provisions on disciplinary; enrich and perfect the super standard, beyond the scope of Xiang Qun < All to raise fund and labor, in for involving the public affairs deliberately, chinakayao, in social security, policy support, disaster relief funds and materials and other matters assigned any kind and affectionate friends, obviously unfair acts against the interests of the masses of the disciplinary terms; increase the terms not in accordance with the provisions of the public party provided, government, factory and village (neighborhood) provided etc. violation of the people's right to know the behavior of the discipline. The fifth issue, on the violation of work discipline violation of work discipline added "negative list, including Party organizations carry out strictly Main responsibility for poor discipline terms. (1) the new party organization comprehensive strictly the main responsibility of the party does not fulfill the 21 or perform poor disciplinary terms < New Regulations > has a lead people to pay attention to the new terms, that is, in chapter ten "on the violation of work discipline behavior punishment" increase in the one hundred and fourteenth "party fail to perform comprehensive strictly the main responsibility of the party or to perform comprehensive strictly the main responsibility for administering the ineffective, resulting in serious damage or serious adverse effects, to the person directly responsible and the responsibility of leadership and give a warning or serious warning. The situation is serious, giving removed from their party posts or on probation Punishment. "Here the changes. For the first time, the main responsibility write < rule >. (2) new shall report does not report or false reporting discipline shall increase the 117 bar" in the higher level units to check to inspect the work or report to the parent unit, work report of shall report the matters do not report or do not report, cause serious damage or serious adverse effects of, to the person directly responsible and the responsibility of leadership, to give warning or a serious warning; if the circumstances are serious, giving removed from their party posts or placed on probation. "For example, during the tour visits to the region, the unit Members the obligation to the inspection teams to reflect the true situation, to conceal not reported or intentionally to the inspection teams to provide false information, causing serious damage or serious adverse effects of, the person directly responsible and the responsibility of leadership should be in accordance with the provisions of < rule > Article 117 to give the appropriate punishment. (3) the new not granted in accordance with the provisions of punishment, not according to the provisions of the implementation of disciplinary measures 22 violation of the provisions of Article 115 "Party organizations have one of the following circumstances, the direct leadership responsibility. Probation: members were sentenced punished, in accordance with the provisions give disciplinary action or in violation of state law Rules of behavior should be given disciplinary punishment and dispose of; disciplinary punishment by decision or complaint review the decision made, not in accordance with the provisions of the implementation decisions on punishment of the party, position, rank, and the treatment of the matters; Party members subject to disciplinary action, not in accordance with the cadre management authority and organizational relationships of by dispose of Party members to carry out education and supervision of daily management. "What needs to be pointed out is," cliff "demoted with cars, housing, secretary problem, implementation is not a discipline and party posts and ranks treatment by the organization department is responsible for the implementation, with cars, housing by the logistics department is responsible for the implementation of, Ji Commission responsible oversight responsibilities. The six questions, about the acts violating the discipline of life "in violation of discipline of life behavior punishment", mainly to "four winds" problems and a serious violation of social morality, family virtue acts of misconduct made provisions on disciplinary, an increase of extravagant life, contrary to the social public order and good customs disciplinary terms. Worth mentioning is, > < Regulations in Article 150 about "adultery" "mistress (Cardiff) formulation in the new < rule > is removed, to expand the scope of Article 127 provisions" and others hair improper sexual relations, let face disciplinary action Wider more strict. Four, and earnestly do a good job in the < code > and < rule > implement system of life lies in execution. < code > and < Regulations > is 23 Party organizations at all levels of a strong constraint and all Party members follow. Learning and implementing the < code > and < rule > is party committees (party), commission for discipline, discipline inspection group), the majority of Party members and cadres of the common responsibility, must party caught together, the party one execution. () Party committees (party) and play and implement comprehensive strictly the main responsibility, pays special attention to the two party regulations learning cross penetration. One is to Adhere to the party constitution is fundamental to follow, and resolutely safeguard the authority of the Party Chapter. The second is to adhere to the problem oriented, to strictly political discipline and political rule moments in the first place. The third is to adhere to the discipline and rules quite in front must not allow the bottom line to break the discipline. The fourth is to seriously organize the study of propaganda and education, in the city party members to create a disciplined, about the rules of the strong atmosphere. (II) Commission for Discipline Inspection at all levels (Discipline Inspection Group) to an important basis for the revised two party regulations as, adhere to easily blame, strengthen supervision and enforcement And early method in combining Ji, increase accountability efforts. One is to two regulations within the party important basis, adhere to the party constitution duties, with strict discipline to maintain the constitution authority. The second is to adhere to high standards and keep the bottom line, adhere to Ji Yan in law and discipline, the discipline and rules quite in front, grasping grasping small, easily blame, comprehensive use of supervision and discipline of "four kinds of form" in the discipline embodies the strict requirements and care for the discipline, tighten up, Yan. According to discipline in accordance with regulations to carry out disciplinary review. Increase the violations punishment, clues can initiate an investigation on the trial of cases According to the discipline on the provisions of the proportion of processing and control manager maintains discipline. To focus on investigating non convergence, don't accept hand serious disciplinary violations at the same time, pay more attention to the general review of discipline 24 behavior, and gradually increase the lighter punishment. Four is to illuminate two party regulations, combined with the local district of the Department of party conduct Lianzheng to relevant laws and regulations system clean, timely research proposes to establish, change, waste release opinion, avoid conflict, and the fasten system of cage, and gradually formed not rot, not rot, not want to rot system and working mechanism. (3) the leadership of the party members and cadres should play an exemplary role. The rate of higher consciousness of the front of the Ordinance to lead practice self-discipline norms, leading to maintain discipline of seriousness and authority. One is the above rate, demonstration and guidance, take the lead in learning and mastering the < code > and < > the requirements and regulations, do the deep understanding, learning to use. The second is to play an exemplary role in abiding by discipline rate, take the lead in practicing self-discipline norms, firmly establish before the discipline are equal, the system has no privilege, discipline is no exception, and consciously do standards, require more strict measures more practical. Third is to consciously accept supervision, conscientiously participate in the democratic life and debriefing honesty responsibility, such as Real to the party organization to report personal matters, and to accept the supervision of the work and life of the normal, habits under the supervision of the exercise of power, to carry out the work. The fourth is to set an example for the strict enforcement of discipline. Leading cadres should take the lead in the maintenance of discipline of seriousness and authority, to dare to seriously, dare to struggle, dare to offend people, for misconduct not laissez faire, but do not indulge, not tolerate to ensure the party constitution of party compasses party put in place. (4) the majority of Party members and cadres to set high standards and hold the bottom line, consciously abide by the < code > and < rule >. One is to control the < standard > and < 25 cases >, tight Close connection with their own thoughts, practical work and life, efforts to solve the problems, to enhance the study and implement of the effectiveness and pertinence. The second is to establish a high standard and hold the bottom line, consciously in the self-discipline pursuit of high standards, strictly in the party away from the red line discipline, discipline, about the rules and know fear, distrust, the formation of the honor system, comply with the system, safeguard system of good habits. Regulations and discipline regulations of < < New Revision of the Communist Party of China clean fingered self-discipline criterion > and < Chinese Communist Party Disciplinary Regulations > is the Party Central Committee in the new situation to promote the comprehensive strictly root of the lift, the regulations of the party construction of keeping pace with the times. We should study and implement the Standards > and < > as the primary political task, adhere to the party constitution duties, adhere to the discipline of, Ji Yan in law, the full implementation of supervision and discipline accountability responsibilities for coordination and promotion "four overall" strategic layout in XX District vivid practice to provide a strong guarantee. - Si Jian Wu, and effectively enhance the implementation of the implementation of the < code > < > The consciousness of General Secretary Xi pointed out that the party is in charge of the party, to manage the party; strictly, it can cure good party. Criterion > and < rule > keep pace with the times is our party to form a new potential strictly rules, to deepen understanding of the ruling law, is a comprehensive strictly, and strengthen the supervision within the party important grasper. Criterion > closely linked to the theme of self-discipline, self-discipline intensity-modulated, focusing on morality, for the majority of Party members and cadres set to see, feel the high standard, show the Communists noble moral sentiment; District Ordinance < < rule > the constitution of discipline integration into a political discipline, organization and discipline, honesty and discipline, discipline of the masses, work discipline, discipline, emphasize discipline, focusing on established rules, to draw the party organizations and Party members do not touch the bottom line. Party committees (party) to effectively strengthen the study and publicize the implementation of the < code > and < rule > the organization and leadership of criterion > and < > a full range, multi angle, deep publicity, the formation of study and publicize and implement the boom, in order to consolidate the development of good political environment to create a positive environment and atmosphere. The majority of Party members and cadres to strict requirements, the < rule > and < Ordinance cases > as a guide to action and behavior criterion, adhere to the moral standards and discipline of the bottom line, to maintain the discipline of worship and awe, learning, compliance, and maintain party discipline and rules of the model. The discipline inspection and supervision organs and cadres to the < code > and < > as the deepening of the "three", and strengthen supervision and discipline of accountability is important to follow correctly grasp the use of supervision and discipline of "four types", promote the comprehensive strictly in new roots. Strict discipline, adhere to the discipline and rules quite in front of the enterprise in the implementation of expensive to implement to execute. The discipline inspection and supervision organs to implement the < code > and < Efforts to investigate cases > as an opportunity, adhere to the party should manage the party strictly, serious performance of their duties to promote two regulations implementation. Change discipline concept. From the simple "investigation of illegal" to a comprehensive "stare at violate discipline"; from the business case to prosecute the big cases and timely solve the signs of tilt to. From the orientation to the normal supervision; from the tube "minority" to resist the "most". Guide Party members and cadres to seriously implement the < code > and < rule >, consciously abide by the political, organizational, honest people, work, life six discipline. Urge the leadership cadres sent to play an exemplary role, take the lead in strictly enforced. Relaxation and rest Strong wind is Su Ji, closely linked to the "four winds" prone to multiple, the masses reflect the strong important nodes and, glued to the four winds "new form, new trends, seriously investigate and deal with violations of the central eight provisions of the spirit, to increase the bulletin exposure intensity, the formation of Chajiu" four winds "loudly, continue to release and discipline must be strict signal. At the same time, extended supervision tentacles, through the development of the rural and fishery party conduct Lianzheng construction inspection, issued in a timely manner, Chajiu occurred in grassroots side of corruption and unhealthy, and earnestly safeguard the interests of the masses and social stability. The creativity and discipline. Grasp and make good use of the supervision and discipline of" four types ", to ensure the Promoting clues to lots of discipline and the law of the vacuum tube, strict together. Not only to the "less" and "very few" thorough investigation severely punished, but also the "most" to maintain zero tolerance trend through layers of conductive pressure, let the discipline about the rules for each party members and cadres consciously follow. At present, it is necessary to implement the "list" management, strictly follow the clues to the disposal of five standards, make the classification of disposal, dynamic cleanup. Zadok Party committees at all levels to implement the main responsibility, comprehensive use of disciplinary action and tissue processing and other means to effectively curb the commonplace, used to see do not blame the "small problem", not because of "practice" and "exception". Prominent Discipline characteristics, the problems of violation of discipline and rules into the focus of supervision and discipline and disciplinary review. At the same time, increase case double check the intensity, the serious problems of discipline violations or "four winds" ban but not absolutely, not only to be held directly responsible, but also held leadership responsibility; not only to pursue studies the main responsibility of the Party committee, and to pursue Commission for Discipline Inspection and supervision responsibilities and promote accountability to become the new norm. The implementation of supervisory responsibility. Maintain < code > and < rule > the seriousness and authority of the discipline and rules and truly become the party's ruler. Discipline as supervision within the party the specialized agency, we must strengthen the responsibility to act, adhere to the Impartial discipline accountability, earnestly will be strict discipline, discipline must be punished, and severely punish the acts in violation of rules and regulations.