电影剧本 大话王 Liar Liar

Liar Liar [ Chalk Scraping On Blackboard ]- [ Woman ] W-O...R...K ! Work. Today we're going to sharewhat our parents do for... [ Children, Woman ]Work ! My mommy is a doctor. -My daddy is a truck driver. - My mom's a teacher. -And your dad ? -- Mmm. My dad--He's... a liar. A-- A liar ? Oh, l'm sureyou don't mean a liar. Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge. Oh ! l see.You mean he's a lawyer. [ Man ] Hey, Fletcher.How'd it go ? -Just another victory for the wrongly accused. -- Yeah, right. - [ Laughs ]- Mr. Reede, great job.Do you want your coat back ? No, l'm sure you'll beneeding it again and again. -Do you have a moment ? -- l'm late. lt's my dayto be with my son. A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win. Yeah ? How's my hair ? Fabulous.You look great. -What time is it ? -- l am sure your dad just got held up in court again. -Dad ! -- Maximilian !Hey, how ya doin', creep ? Good. Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me. - Oh, no, Dad ! - Oh, yeah. lt's becoming a claw !Nothing can stop the claw !Run, boy, run !Save yourself ! Do the claw to Mom !Do the claw to Mom ! Uh-oh. You found the claw's only weakness. Subzero temperatures ! - So, did you have any trouble finding the place ? Okay, l'm late. l'm sorry.l ran out of gas. The gauge is broken.Rough neighborhood too. Good thing l was wearin'neutral gang colors. l might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap.My mind and my money and my money and my mind - [ Giggling ]- They would never hurt you,Fletcher. You're their lawyer. That was below the belt.Keep the gloves up. Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling ! -Oh, Fletcher ! -- Oh, Audrey ! Why do you have to take him to see that stuff ?lt's very violent. The boy must growto be a warrior. Who better to guide him than Rick Rude...and Randy Macho-man Savagein the cage of death ? [ Car Horn Honking ] [ Fletcher Moans ]Oh, good ! -[ Max ] Jerry, how's it goin' ? -- [ Jerry ] Hey, gipper !You look like you grow by the minute ! Fletcher, pleasure to see you.Hi, honey ! - Hi.- [ Smack ] Wow. That was a nice image.[ lmitates Keystroke ] Deleted. - l have some more boxes for you.- Oh, you're an angel. -Boxes ? -- Remember, l told you a few weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston. Oh, right ! The job, the thing.What do you do again ? -Hospital administrator. -- Right, right ! Well, the boxesare in my car. Oh, those can wait. l made this young mana promise, didn't l ? -Got time to throw a few ? -- Sure ! Come on, then ! -l forgot the boyfriend was moving. -- Jerry !His name is Jerry !And yes, he's moving. l'm sorry. l hated him less than your other boyfriends. -lt wasn't serious, was it ? -- Semiserious, yes. You guys aren't--You know-- l have beendating him for seven months. -What do you think ? -- Really ? Ooh !l was hoping after being marriedto me you'd have no strength left. Remember, when we were married,l wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were. Ouch ! And the reftakes a point away. -[ Max ] Out ! -- Max is gonna miss him. l'll be here. [ Jerry ]Ready ? Yeah ! Play ball. Max, come on. We've gotta go. -Dad, are we really goingto wrestling ? -- Absolutely, Max Factor.We just have to stop by the office for one minute. Excuse me, sir. Any spare change ? Oh, l'm sorry. l'm all out. l can't do it. Fred, it's your duty to presentthe strongest case possible. The strongest case possible consistent with the truth. Will you let the judgedecide what's true ?That's what he gets paid for.You get paid to win. lf you insist that l take it to trial, l will represent Mrs. Coleaggressively and ethically.But Miranda, l won't lie. Then we'll just haveto find someone who will. Twenty-first floor.Men's wear. -Hi, Mr. Reede ! -- Whoa ! Hey. Did you do somethingto your hair ? lt's a bit extreme,isn't it ? No ! That's the thing nowadays, right ? - He said it would accentmy facial features.- That's what it does ! lt completely accentsyour facial features. We're just gonna go to my office-- [ Choking ] -Hey, Fletcher. -- Hey, Pete. -You losin' a little weight ? -- l don't know. Maybe. Looks and personality.A double-threat guy. -Hey, Mr. Reede. -- Hey... man. -lt's, uh, Randy. -- Yeah, l know. Takin' lunch orders.Anything ? No, thanks. l had so much for breakfast,l'm ready to pop. -l mean, l'm full. -- Okay. Great. -Max ! -- Hi, Greta. -Hey, what's new ? -- lt's my birthday tomorrow,and we're having a party. Wow ! l am sure your daddy has got you something wonderful. -Yeah ? -- Yeah, you bet ! Listen, kiddo.Why don't you play in my officefor a minute. Sue somebodyfor everything they've got. Maybe you can send a faxto one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry.Damn it !l completely forgot. Oh, what a surprise. You are a saint.l should buy you a gift. -You did. -- l always do the classy thing.Any calls ? -The Drawlings' clerkneeds your filing. -- Tell him it's in the mail. Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirmyour meeting tomorrow. Strep throat. Some kind of virus.What's goin' around ? -Asian flu ? -- Good one. -And your mother called. -- l'm on vacation. -lt's your fifth week. -- Snowed in. Phones are down. Break mother's heart.Done. That's it. - Except Miranda's looking for you.- [ Groans ] How much ass do l have to kiss to make partner ? -Tell her l broke my leg and l had to be shot. -- Tell her yourself. And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today ! -l'll get right on it. -- Miranda ! Hey, l didn't see you. You look beautiful today.Here ! l bought you a gift. Oh, thanks. l heard about your victory. Congratulations. You're making quite an impressionon the partnership committee. That's right !You folks are meetin' soon. l've been so busy,l haven't even thought about it. [ Chuckles ] Anyway. l have a clientin my office. Better not keep him waiting. -- Actually, something ratherimportant's just come up. Um, you're not busy tonight, are you ? We're not going, are we ? Audrey. You know how there aremoments you know are critical ? -Mm-hmm. -- And choices that have to be made... - upon which all one'sfuture happiness will depend ?- Mm-hmm. This is one of those moments. What are you trying to say ? Will you marry me ? -You're moving. -- l know, but l want youand Max to come with me. Audrey, l've been giving this a lot of thought. You know l'm not prone to wild flights of romantic fancy. -Mmm. -- But the thought of you and ltogether just makes sense. Now l'm ready. l think you're ready. l love Max.You love Max.lt's right. lt fits. So what do you say ? [ Keyboard Tapping ] Hey, creepy.Happy birthday.How old are you now, or ? -l'm five, Dad. -- Okay. Return the beer keg.Cancel the dancing girls. - l don't know what l'm gonna do.l feel completely unpreparedfor this.You see, l bought you a present,but last night...l accidentally swallowed it. -Dad, it's in your belly ! -- Scalpel. l hope it's not partially digested ! Ooh ! Look out ! -Cool ! What is it ? -- Cool !lt's-- lt's a surprise. All right, it's a pony.Just open it ! l'm gonna help,'cause l can't stand it ! -Baseball stuff ! -- Baseball stuff ! Cool ! Can we play ? l'll be Nomo. You can beJose Canseco. Can we play ? -Absolutely. -- Yeah ! [ Laughs ] Right after your party tonight, we'll do it.You and me.l just have to reallyconcentrate on this right now. Hey ! Happy birthday. -Thanks, Mom. -- Happy birthday, Max ! One, two, three, four, five.And one for good luck ! He struck the child.Did you see that ? -Look at what Dad got me ! -- Whoa ! Great ! Hey, l have my glovein the car. Maybe we can stop at the parkon the way home and play catch. Then tonight we can rub oil in itand wrap a big rubber band around it. lt'll be great.Hey, great gift, Dad ! Thanks, son. l'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. My plan to phase myself outis almost complete. Something's come up,and we need to talk. Come on, Mom.l want to go play ! And actually it's kind of important,so maybe we could talk tonight ? -Tonight ? -- Yes. -Max's birthday party. -- Oh ! Yeah. Sure. Of course.We'll talk then. Great ! -Maximus ! l'm outta here. -- Bye, Dad. Jerry, enjoy my wife. Hmm. Well, this is good.This is really smart. -Thank you. -- Only--Well, it's not true.Does that present a problem ? Mrs. Cole,the only problem here...is that after you've provided yearsof faithful service and loving support,of raising his children--they are his ? Huh ? Oh. Yeah, yeah.One for sure. After all that, your husband wants to deny you...a fair share of the assets basedon one act of indiscretion. - Seven. -Pardon me ? -- Seven single acts of indiscretion. Seven acts of indiscretion, only one of which he hasany evidence of...and all of which he himself is responsible for. -He is ? -- Mrs. Cole.You're the victim here.The wife of a cold, distant workaholic.Starved for affection, driveninto the arms of another man ! -Seven. -- Yeah, whatever !You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his. All you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours. -- Yeah. And maybe a...[ Puffs ] fraction more.l think you'rebending over backwards. Yeah. l did offer to give him joint custody of the kids.He is, after all,a wonderful father. And how does he repay you ?By dragging you througha painful litigation process !No, no, no, no !This can't happen !With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore.This is about all women.Where would Tina Turner beright now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, lke,and put some stank on it ?" Rollin' on the river,that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome,because she decided to send a message.Wake up, sisters !There's no-o-o-o-o-o...such thing as a weaker sex ! [ Panting ]You know what ?You're right, Mr. Reede. l am tired of getting kicked around ! Good for you ! Thank you.l am so grateful...to have an attorneyl can trust. Oh, you are good. [ Laughs ]You are very, very good.The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm.lf you win, l guaranteeyou'll make partner. Aw. ln fact, how would youlike to make...a partner right now, hmm ? Oh, l don't know.l should-- Mmm. Happy, happy, happyhappy, happy, happy Happyl'm so happy today -l live in the U.S.A. -- So honey ? Have you, uh,thought about-- ou know, what we talked about ? - Uh, yeah. l can't go. What ? Wh-Why not ? -Because of Max -.- But he'll love it there. l'm gonna take himto Fenway Park. There's hikingand camping-- Well, really,it's... Fletcher. Fletcher ?Come on, honey. He wouldn't even come overunless you reminded him. l know, but when he doescome over, Max is so happy.lt's like they have theirown little world together. -The gipper and l have that too ! -- l know, but it's different. -How ? -- Well--He does the claw. -The what ? -- The claw.You know, it's like this--l don't-- [ Growls ] [ lmitating Fletcher ] Run for you life.lt's the claw ! The claw ! [ Laughs ] Mmm. l can't really do it that good.That's not the point. -The point is.. -.- [ Phone Ringing ]if they're miles apart,they're never gonna see each other. Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston. -[ Ringing Continues ] -- Hello. -Audrey ? -- Fletcher ! Where are you ?We're waiting. Max won't cut the cakeuntil you get here. Um-- Oh, man !Actually, somethinghas come up. l've--l've got this problemon a new case. -What happened ? -- Nothing ! l stubbed my toe on the desk ! l'm really sorry,but l just can't make it. The boss is, uh,really ridin' me. Fletcher, it's his birthday ! l know, l know. l'll make it up to him,l promise. l'll pick him upfrom school tomorrow, okay ?