生活大爆炸第三季剧本DOCS3E8

我们还有多少时间 How much time do we have? 倒数5小时37分钟 Uh,T-minus five hours,37 minutes 流星雨开始 to onset of meteor shower. 我们的位置是北纬34.48° 西经118.21° Okay,our position is 34.48 degrees north,118.31 west. 这意味着方位角应该是... That means the azimuth should be... 相对磁北168.22° 168.22 degrees relative to magnetic north 外加仰角49.93° with an elevation of 49.93. 有什么了吗 Anything yet? 我们有信号 却不能锁定坐标 Uh,we have a signal,but there's no frame lock. 等等 现在如何 Hang on. How about... now? 我们成功了 We did it. 我们收到西海岸HBO电视台的信号了 We have the West Coast feed of HBO. 哇 《真实性爱》 Ooh,Real Sex. 这可好看了 每次我看这节目 Big deal. Every time I watch that show, 都是个老女人往黄瓜上套安全套 it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers. 那好 让我们来看看东海岸在播什么 All right,let's see what's on the East Coast feed. 喔 是《沙丘》 Oh,hey. Dune. 不算是个好电影 Not a great movie, 但看看这美丽的沙漠啊 but look at that beautiful desert. 谢尔顿不能来真可惜 Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us. 没有他在感觉有点不大对头 Yeah,it's just not the same without him. 这电影太烂了 我换回去看《真实性爱》 Oh,this sucks. I'm switching back to Real Sex. 谢尔顿日志 Sheldon's log. 星历63345.3 Stardate 63345.3. 当我的同事们离开 While my colleagues are off 去观测狮子座流星雨时 observing the Leonid meteor shower, 我留守后方完成我关于 I have remained behind to complete my paper 高激发态大质量弦状态衰变的论文 on the decays of highly excited massive string states. 尽管我的研究进展顺利 Although my research is going well, 我确实很想念人类陪伴的温暖 I do miss the warmth of human companionship. 晚上好 暹罗宫 And good evening to you,Siam Palace. 我是谢尔顿·库珀 This is Sheldon Cooper. 我今晚要孤独一人进餐 Yeah,I'm going to be dining alone this evening, 所以我要减少通常的菜单 so I'll be reducing my usual order. 我的前菜要四分之一份 I'd like to start with one quarter 什锦小吃 of the Assorted Appetizers Plate 然后要两人份的金宝贝的一半 and,uh,one half of the Golden Treasure for two. 看在老天的份上 在18世纪中页 Oh,for heaven's sake. In the mid-18th century, 暹罗国王拉玛四世将巨大的帝国 King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire 割让给了欧洲的各大殖民势力 amongst the colonial powers of Europe 目的是为了保住王位 in order to preserve his throne. 理所当然的 你 他的文化继承者 Surely,you,his cultural descendant, 也能搞定这些泰式炒面和饺子 can handle pad Thai and dumplings. 谢尔顿 救命 Sheldon,help! 我要挂了 但是记住我在yelp.com那些 I need to go-- but you keep in mind 关于一家本地松饼店 that my sharply worded comments 言辞尖锐的评论 on Yelp.com recently took down a local muffin store. 佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 Penny. Penny. Penny. 进来 快点 Come in! Hurry! 佩妮 Penny? 我在里面 I'm back here. 佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 Penny. Penny. Penny. 哦 老天 我在浴室里 Oh,for God's sakes,I'm in the bathroom! 我该挑个更恰当的时机再来吗 Shall I come back at a better time? 给我进来 Get in here! 快点 Hurry! 你敢再敲门试试 Don't you dare knock! 你好 Hello. 我在浴缸里滑倒了 I slipped in the shower, 我觉得肩膀好像脱臼了 and I think I dislocated my shoulder. 这不奇怪 Not surprising. 你没有装防滑垫或者防滑贴纸 You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers 来抵消浴缸表面的 to allow for purchase on a surface 很低的静摩擦系数 with a low coefficient of static friction. 什么 What? 浴缸都很滑的 Tubs are slippery. 我知道 我滑倒了 I know. I slipped. 我有一个系列的古怪鸭贴纸 I have a series of whimsical duck stickers 贴在我的浴缸底部 on the bottom of my tub. 好吧 无论如何 Yeah,okay,whatever. 你能把水关掉再扶我起来吗 Will you just turn the water off and help me up? 他们都撑着伞的 They're holding umbrellas. 什么 What? 我浴缸里的鸭子 The ducks in my tub. 它们怪就怪在这些鸭子既没有需要 They're whimsical because ducks have neither a need for, 也没有能力来使用雨伞 nor the ability to use,umbrellas. 上帝啊 我得去急救中心了 Oh,my God. I got to go to the emergency room. 如果你确定你的右上膊骨 Well,assuming you're correct that your right humerus 不再固定在肩臼上 is no longer seated in the glenoid socket, -我当然认为你该去急救中心 -你能车我去吗 - I would certainly think so. - Okay,can you drive me? 我不开车的 I don't drive. 但我开不了 Well,I can't drive! 看来我们到达了一个僵局 Well,it seems we've reached an impasse. 我可以帮你叫辆的士或者救护车 I could call you a cab or an ambulance. 不 不 不 我等不及了 No,no,no. I can't wait that long. 你必须得帮我 求你了 You got to help me,please. 好的 不能让人说谢尔顿·李·库珀 All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper 是个无视陷入困境的少女的人 ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress. 没人这么说 快走吧 No one's saying that. Let's go. 因没买99美分的防滑鸭子 Well,it does seem rather ironic 而导致两个人都可能死于惨烈的车祸 that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks, 这看上去真是非常讽刺 we both might die in a fiery car crash. 我真希望佩妮不用去工作 I wish Penny didn't have to work. 她喜欢野营 She loves camping. 是啊 那就太好了 Yeah,that would have been great. 你和佩妮在帐篷里做爱 You and Penny having sex in the tent 而我则坐在外面看霍华德拿仙人掌爆菊 while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus. 好的 我已经尽力侦查了 Okay,the best I can tell, 附近还有8个野营地 there are eight other campsites nearby. 大多都是像我们这样的科学呆子 Mostly science nerds like us, 不过山脊另一边 but just over yon ridge are two 有两位不无魅力的中学老师 not unattractive middle school teachers 浑身散发着绝望主妇的气息 who reek of desperation. 太好了 Wow. Wonderful. -她们多大 -我不知道 - How old are they? - I don't know. 50岁 55岁吧 50,55. 更年期妇女 Oh,menopause. 天然的节育控制 Nature's birth control. 拜托 Come on. 你们不会这么饥渴吧 You guys can't be that hard up. -我饥渴 -我也是 - I am. - Yeah,me,too. 看 她们还送了点自制曲奇给我们 Look-- they gave me homemade cookies. 当然会给 Of course,they did. 老奶奶都这样 That's what grandmothers do. 那我们还等什么 So,what are we waiting for? 悠着点 Relax. 我说等她们打完盹 I said we'd stop by a little later 我们再过去 after they have their nap. 好主意 Good idea. 睡醒精力比较足 They'll be refreshed. 吃曲奇吗 Cookie? 好 谢谢 Yeah. Thank you. 不错啊 Not bad. 很好吃啊 Yeah,very tasty. 再说说那些老师的情况 Well,so tell me more about these teachers. 没什么了 Not much to tell. 她们开了辆大众车 They had a VW microbus 穿着扎染的感恩而死乐队T恤 and were wearing tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirts. 美味曲奇 Good cookies. 这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言 I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. 你周一穿什么内裤 Which panties do you wear on Mondays? 我不要内裤 I don't need panties. 只要短裤和衬衫 I just need shorts and a shirt. 妈妈经常跟我说 My mother always told me 一个人要穿干净内裤 one should wear clean underpants 以防发生意外 in case one is in an accident. 我已经发生意外了 One was already in an accident. 那不表示不会再发生意外 That doesn't mean one won't be in another, 尤其是我开车的情况下 especially if I'm driving. 拿衣服 谢尔顿 Clothes,Sheldon. -我要衣服 -好啦 - I need clothes! - Okay. 给 Here. 不会吧 这条裤子配这件上衣 Seriously? Those shorts with that top? 好吧 All right. 不行 No. 不行 No. 这件好看 Oh,that's cute. 一会儿该给你查查有没有脑震荡 We should have you checked for a concussion. 好了 Okay. 你得帮我穿衣服 Now,you got to help me put these on. -好吧 -不许看啊 - All right. - But don't look. -不许看? -我不想让你看我裸体 - Don't look? - I don't want you to see me naked. 哦 Oh. 这可以理解 Well,that's understandable. 你或许会有兴趣知道 You may be interested to know 禁止看对方 that a prohibition against looking 早在英雄神话里就有确立 is well established in heroic mythology. 洛特王和他妻子 珀尔修斯和美杜莎 Uh,Lot and his wife,Perseus and Medusa, -奥菲士和欧律狄刻 -知道啦 - Orpheus and Eurydice... - Yeah,great. 他们都看了 They always look. 结局都很不好 It never ends well. 好了 现在帮我把手穿进袖子 Okay. Now you got help me get my arm into the sleeve. 好的 Okay. 那是我的手臂吗 Is that my arm? 感觉不像手臂 It doesn't feel like an arm. 那你是不是该放手了 Then,maybe you should let it go. 好滴 All righty. 星星好漂漂啊 Stars are pretty,aren't they? 在那高高的地方 Up above the world so high. 像天上的小钻石 Like little diamonds in the sky. 太优美了 兄弟 That's beautiful,dude. 你应该把这句话写下来 You should... you should write that down 免得被人山寨了 before someone steals it. 流星雨什么时候来 So,when do the meteors get here? 不是流星雨来这里 The meteors don't get here. 是地球走到他们的轨道上了 The Earth is moving into their path. 我能感觉到 I can feel it. 我能感觉到地球在移动 I can feel the Earth moving. 移动得太快 It's moving too fast. 拉杰 让地球慢点 Raj,slow it down. 行了 现在如何 Okay,how's that? 好多了 谢谢 Better. Thanks. 星星多漂漂啊 Stars are pretty,aren't they? 笑什么 What's so funny? 笑你的美国口音 It's your American accent. 你说的话都很傻逼 Everything you say sounds stupid. 星星多漂漂啊 "Stars are pretty,aren't they?" 为准确起见 我得告诉你 For the record,I should let you know 这是我第一次开真的汽车 this is my first time driving an actual motor vehicle. 你有实习驾照吧 You have your learner's permit,right? 有 我还在 Yes,and I have logged 模拟装置上开了很长时间 a considerable number of hours on a simulator. -那就行 -但效果不太好 - Good. - Didn't work out well. -行了 能开了吗 -等一下 - All right,can we please go? - One moment. 驾驶书里说 According to my driver's ed book, 侧视镜的正确角度是 the side mirror is properly adjusted 调到能在镜子的右下角 when the driver's door handle 看到部分门把手 is visible in the lower right corner. 看到门拉手了 There's the handle. 不不 太过了 Oh,no,too far. 往回一点点 Bringing it back. 这才正好 Optimized. 好 调整副驾驶座 Now,where is the switch 后视镜的调节器呢 to adjust the passenger side mirror? 就在这里 It's right there. 副驾驶座的后视镜在哪儿呢 Where is the passenger side mirror? 在好莱坞的停车场时被撞掉了 In a parking lot in Hollywood. -行行好 我们能走了吗 -好 - Now,can we please go? - Yes. 先等我调整好座椅 As soon as I adjust my seat. 噢 老天 Oh,dear. 我又得重来一次 I'm going to have to start again. 如果我会说兔子的语言 If I could speak the language of rabbits, 那就太美妙了 我将成为兔王 that will be amazed,I will be their king. 我讨厌我的名字 I hate my name. 读起来像个呆子 It has "nerd" in it. 莱呆子 Len-nerd. 我的第一次是和我的表姐珍妮 I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. 我会仁慈地对待我的兔民们 I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. 当然只是开始而已 At first. 知道什么才叫酷名吗 You know what's a cool name? 安杰洛 Angelo. 有天使又有洁露果子冻 That has angel and Jell-O in it. 那是在我穆雷舅舅的葬礼上 It was my Uncle Murray's funeral. 我们在芭芭拉阿姨的房子后面 We were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house. 透过一条腌鲱鱼 我们四目相接 Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. 我们本来没想着会发生关系的 We never meant for it to happen. 一天 我为法国总统举办了一场盛大舞会 One day,I hold a great ball for the President of France, 但是兔民们 因为憎恨我而没来捧场 but the rabbits-- they hate me and don't come. 我极为尴尬 于是我逼它们眼睁睁地看着 I am embarrassed,so I eat all the lettuce in the world 我吃光世界上所有的莴苣 and make them watch. 别人可以昵称我安吉 People could call me Angie. (史泰龙状) 哟 安吉 最近咋样 (la Sylvester Stallone): Yo,Angie,how's it goin'? 直到如今 每次一看到腌鲱鱼 To this day,I can't look at pickled herring 就会忍不住尴尬性奋 without being aroused and ashamed. 噢 珍妮阿姐 Oh! Cousin Jeanie. 你就不能开快点吗 Could you please drive a little faster? 我觉得已经够快了 Oh,I think we're going sufficiently fast. 什么情况 What's that? 没事 引擎时不时会这样 Nothing. The engine does that sometimes. 没事才怪 It can't be nothing. 检查引擎指示灯都亮了 The check engine light is on. 我们得去服务站 We need to find a service station. 自我买回这辆车 这灯就一直亮着 No. The light has been on since I bought the car. 那就更应该去了 All the more reason 趁这车爆炸之前 找维修师来处理 to consult with a mechanic before it explodes. 爆炸个鬼啊 It's not going to explode. 快开车 Just keep driving. 曲速前进 史波克长官 Warp speed ahead,Mr. Spock. 史波克不是企业号的驾驶员 Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. 他是科学官 还有我保证 He was the science officer,and I guarantee you that 只要他看到企业号的检查引擎指示灯 if he ever saw the Enterprise's check engine light blinking, 闪那么一下 他会立刻下令靠边停 he would pull the ship over immediately. 老天 我的手臂完了 Oh,God,I'm gonna lose the arm. 红灯 Oh,well,red light. 先松开油门 Release accelerator 然后要慢慢地踩刹车 and slowly apply... the... brake. 搞定 Nailed it. 趁现在空着 能问你个问吗 While we have a moment,may I ask you a question? 说 What? 你为什么在右屁股上 Why do you have the Chinese character for soup 纹了个中国字"汤"的纹身 tattooed on your right buttock? 那不是"汤" It's not soup. 是"勇" It's courage. 才不是 No,it isn't. 但我猜想 要表现出对汤的热忱 But I suppose it does take courage 还真是需要不少勇气 to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup. 你怎么会看到 How did you see it? 你说了不看的 You said you wouldn't look. 不好意思 Sorry. 正如我所说 是英雄 就偷窥 As I told you,the hero always peeks. 找到了吗 Anything? 没有 你吃掉了最后一个布丁 No. That was the last pudding cup. 不 No! 史吉牌牛肉小吃呢(美国牛肉小吃品牌) What about Slim Jims? 他刚才就着布丁吃光了 忘了吗 That's what he used to eat his pudding,remember? 没错 太美味了 Right. That was so good! 甜甜肉肉的混合口感真棒 Sweety and meaty at the same time. 等等 你是说 Wait. Wait,wait. So you're saying 我们吃光食物了吗 we're out of food? 里面只剩下蓝色冰袋了 The only thing in here are blue ice packs. 虽然深知它们有毒 I know they're poison, 但还是像极了美味诱人的吸的冻 but they look like big,yummy otter pops. 老天爷 我饿死了 Oh,God,I am so hungry. 我也是 Me,too. 再看看我们还有布丁没 Check and see if we have any more pudding. 好吧 Okay. 好吧 也没必要冲我吼吧 All right,there's no need to bark at me. 那位莫名暴躁的 According to the inexplicably irritable nurse 接待护士说 behind the desk, 你排在那个声称自己 you'll be seen after the man 有心脏病的男人后面 who claims to be having a heart attack, 但在我看来 他健康得很 but appears to be well enough 还能在他的iPhone上玩涂鸦跳跃呢 to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone. 我们得先填 We have to fill these out. "请描述病情和伤情情况" "Describe illness or injury." 肩膀脱臼 I dislocated my shoulder. 好吧 All right. 发生意外的原因 And how did the accident occur? 你不是已经知道了吗 You already know that. "意外原因" "Cause of accident." "没有防滑小鸭" "Lack of adhesive ducks." 好了 病史 Okay,medical history. 你有过糖尿病史吗 "Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?" -没有 -肾病呢 - No. - Kidney disease? -没有 -偏头痛 - No. - Migraines? 马上就有了 Getting one. -你目前怀有身孕吗 -没有 - Are you currently pregnant? - No. 确定吗 你看起来可有点肥 Are you sure? You look a bit puffy. 偏头痛那里改成"是" Change migraine to yes. 你上次生理期是什么时候 "When was your last menstrual period?" 转下个问题 Oh. Next question. 我就写 “生理期中” I'll put,"In progress." 好了 下面是精神疾病的问题 Okay,moving to psychiatric disorders. 列出所有重大行为方面的病症 "List all major behavioral diagnoses, 例如沮丧 焦虑等等 "e.g. depression,anxiety,etcetera." 天哪 这些跟我这该死的肩膀 Oh,my God,what the hell does this 又有什么该死的关系 have to do with my stupid shoulder?! 是否有以下精神疾病发作史 "Episodes of sub psychotic rage." 干 Ass. 可能患有吐雷氏症 "Possible Tourette's." 好了 是否有痣斑 病变或其他皮肤问题 All right. "Moles,lesions or other skin conditions." 右边屁股纹了个"汤"字 "Soup tattoo on right buttock." 谢尔顿 谢尔顿 听我说 Hey,Sheldon,Sheldon,look, 我饱受惊吓 而且疼得厉害 I am scared and in a lot of pain. 可不可以请你别这么自我 Could you please take a break from being you for 让我缓口气 再试着... just a minute and try being-- 怎么说呢 安慰一下我 I don't know-- comforting? 抱歉 I'm sorry. 好了好了 There,there. 一切都会好起来的 Everything's going to be fine. 有我谢尔顿在 Sheldon's here. 谢谢 这样好多了 Thanks. That's much better. 我饿死啦 Oh,I'm so hungry! 你闭嘴吧 Will you shut up? 我们都饿死了 We're all hungry. 好了 我们的抢劫目标是 Okay,our objective is 东边那个童子军训练营地 the Boy Scout campsite to the east. 很好下手 Easy target. 手不能提的童军教练 加上几个童军 Big doughy scout master,couple of Cubs, 大多是幼童军 mostly WeBeLos. 具体抢啥东西呢 What kind of score we looking at? 热狗 面包 烤巧克力夹心饼 Hot dogs,Buns,S'mores. 那整个一便利商店嘛 I mean,it's a freaking 7-11. 好了 大家都带上手电 All right,everyone grab flashlights. 天哪 会是那个吗 Oh,my God,could it be? 太好了 Yes! 我妈妈在我包里放了鸡胸肉"爱心便当" My mother put an "I love you" brisket in my backpack. 快 拿叉子 Quick,get forks. 不需要拿叉子 You don't need forks. 多嫩的鸡胸肉啊 用手一撕就行了 It's so tender,it falls apart in your hands. 他说的没错 He's right. 我觉得我们好像忘了啥重要的事 I feel like we're forgetting something important. 我也是 但是什么捏 Me,too. But what? 也许是忘了整整一盒的烤土豆和胡萝卜 Maybe a Tupperware bowl of roasted potatoes and carrots? -太好了 -太好了 - Yes! - Yes! 记住 你刚吃了强力止痛药 Now remember,you were given powerful pain medication 还有肌肉松弛剂 and a muscle relaxer, 所以 千万别去操作重型机械 so,uh,don't operate heavy machinery. 小心别让自己口水噎到窒息 Try not to choke on your own drool. 等等 你得哄我上床睡觉啊 Wait.You have to help me get into bed. 谢尔顿哄我睡觉 Sheldon has to get me into bed. 我猜你怎么都想不到我会说这话 Bet you never thought I'd say that. 是啊 Yes. 你服下的药物副作用有无限可能 The charm of your drug-addled candor knows no bounds. 都说你跟个奇怪的机器人一样 You know,people think you're this weird robot man 一直都很烦人 说得一点没错 who's so annoying all the time,and you totally are. 但现在你就像电影《瓦力》里结局那样 But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. 充满了爱心 You're so full of love, 简直能拯救整个一株植物 and you can save a plant 拯救那些陷入滑滑椅不能自拔的肥佬 and get fat people out of the floaty chairs. 你这个比喻相当不伦不类 That's a fairly labored metaphor, 不过对这故事隐含的观点 我很欣赏 but I appreciate the sentiment behind it. 唱"乖乖猫"给我听 Sing "Soft Kitty" to me. "乖乖猫"是唱给生病的人的 "Soft Kitty" is for when you're sick. 你又没生病 You're not sick. 我受伤了还服了药 就相当于生病 Injured and drugged is a kind of sick. 乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur... 等等 Wait,wait. 我们来唱和声吧 Let's sing it as a round. 我来起头 I'll start. 乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur... 我唱到这儿你该加进来唱了 So,that's where you come in. 我再从头唱起 I'll start over. 乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur... 谢尔顿 我有一整晚跟你耗哦 I've got all night,Sheldon. 乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur... 乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 Soft kitty,warm kitty,little ball of fur... 快乐猫 瞌睡猫 Happy kitty,sleepy kitty 快乐猫 瞌睡猫 Happy kitty,sleepy kitty 呜 呜 呜[猫满足时呜呜的叫声] Purr,purr,purr 呜 呜 呜 Purr,purr,purr. 第二天早上 他醒了过来 ...And the next morning when he woke up, 翻了个身 他意识到... he rolled over and realized... 那是她表妹 ...she was his cousin. 还是不好笑 That's still not funny. 还是不好笑 That's still not funny. 再说她是我的远房表妹 And she was my second cousin. 再说她是我的远房表妹 And she was my second cousin. 你真是脑残 You're a real douche. 随你说好了 反正你跟自个儿表妹上床了 Who cares? You slept with your cousin.