聊天话术中16个幽默技巧

聊天话术中16个幽默技巧 幽默聊天需要掌握一些技巧，灵活应用，你会成为一个受女孩欢迎的人。 一、 假定回答法 经典案例 : 你其实是一个很好奇(随便一个形容词 )的人 : 为什么, ; 因为我不告诉你为什么的话你会一直问为什么 二、善意地耍女人 她叫你捡东西 你说:你要这个啊, 她 点头 或不说话 或说 恩 你盯着她的眼睛缓缓地说:不给你 她发飙 你说:绝对不给，美人计还没用，怎么就给你了 三、故意曲解女人 1.利用只有貌似女人会说的话来反击她 例:她不小心碰了你一下 你说:难道你只想得到我的肉体，不想得到我的心嘛, 绝对让女人极度目瞪口呆的一句话，无语死 2.不要乱摸我，这是性骚扰，我要报警了，不过你看上去挺可爱的，我就委屈点给你摸了， 就三下 3.我知道你没什么回头率的，所以我就委屈了下自己，多看了你两眼 4.利用“睡觉”，“床”，“洗澡”等敏感字眼做文章 例:什么“床不床”的，我俩还没那么熟，我不是你想象的那么随便的男人。 5.她问:你知道嘛 你答:我知道 : 我妈考虑了很久，还是觉的我们不适合 先严肃 后坏笑 6.纯粹地往“性”上靠 她说:你真笨 你说:是啊，灯关上洞都找不到了 source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 7.女孩向你道歉 你答:1.不用道歉了，很多女人见到我这个发型时，通常会紧张到讲错话。 2.我知道我很有吸引力，但我不知道我可以弄到女人讲错话 四、推拉法 1. 你:“女人其实都和猫有点血缘关系的” 她:为什么, 要不然怎么叫母老虎” 2.让她在短时间内愿意和你做一些泥过去无法想象的事 例: 你说:推 你的头发很漂亮啊，同时又好像好几天没洗了 拉 不过挺可爱的，做我新的女朋友一定不错 推:会烧菜嘛(具体点的，名贵的让她绝对不会的菜) 不会啊，那要分手了 拉:不过笑起来你也不只有头发可爱啦 推: 你身上是什么味道来着, 什么什么味道她解释 拉:你的香味让我过敏，这回看来一定是要分手的了 3. 过马路时，拉她手臂一把 说:小心。 她应该会挺感谢你的 你说:我怕那XX牌的车被你撞坏 五、幽默=意想不到+合理 你知道别人的追悼会为什么要去嘛, 因为你不去的话别人就不会来你的。 六、看手相 source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 你的生命线挺长的，我断定你能活的过下礼拜。 你的财富线不咋地，九十岁以前没什么钱，九十岁以后会一夜暴富。 你的婚姻线告诉我，现在无论我说什么你都会信。 你说:你知道这是什么线嘛,随便指一条。性高潮线说明你一生有XX次高潮 七、 瞎说到荒谬:我家的马桶和你家的浴缸一样大 八、 说话的方式:自信+淡定 1.“你能装作不认识我嘛,” “我本来就不认识你” “嗯，装的很好，很像，真乖” 2.“你相信一见钟情嘛，还是要我再从你身边走一遍” 九、 女人对你的考验 她们绝不允许也绝不可能和每个喜欢她的男人都好上，她们需要筛选，女人考验你是好事，说明他潜意识里试图停止自己对你产生的吸引。 如何化解, 答: 有创意且幽默地曲解女人对你的考验， 把她的考验曲解成她太喜欢你，和追你追的太凶 例: 1. 女:我觉得你好烦 :以前追我的女人都说我烦，我以为女人都一样的，不过我觉得你还是有点不一样的。 :为什么, :她们追的都没你狠，所以我也从未有过地像现在这般的烦人 2.女:你一定很花心 1:嗯，我是， 是什么让你对花心的男人这么有感觉，一下子就看出来了。 2:嗯，我是，你为什么这么喜欢花心的男人，花心的男人到底有什么好的, :谁说喜欢花心的了 其它类似的 :就是嘛花心的男人有什么好的 source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 回马枪幽默法 接废物测试 女:你是不是对女孩都这样说, :眼睛不要一直眨，一秒钟眨三下，你放电啊 或者 我只对说话时眼睛慢慢眨的女孩这样说 :好了，其实我只对说话时眼睛慢慢眨的女孩这样说的，尤其是眼前的…… 1:你昨晚睡在哪? :在家里整晚想着你,但想多了就觉的无聊了.所以我去KTV找了八十八个小姐陪我 2:谁给你发的短信 :你妈,她说你不太懂事要我好好照顾你 3激情告白 你生气的样子好迷人的,让我难以忍受地想亲你 十、 生气和吸引一样是一种情绪,比没有情绪要好 如果女人问一些刁钻的不切实际的问题,她就是在考研你 问一些实际的说明她已经开始想真正的了解你了 女:你是做什么的, 你:裸替 十一、吸引时流动的,吸引每时每刻都在变化着 1.别把自己的心情权利交给了别人,一个能被别人任意摆布的男人不是吸引女人的男人,如果让女人觉察到她的一言一行能够轻易地影响到你的情绪的话,那么你对她的吸引就会急剧地下降 2.话块连情法(成真独门秘籍) 抓关键词:抓那些 容易有歧义的,双关的,容易被误解的,同音异意的 source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 3.为什么称女人兄弟,哥们的效果好? 答:你叫她兄弟,哥们,她吃不准你到底喜不喜欢他,女人喜欢这种吊在半空中的感觉,一上来猜不透你对她的意思,可以让女人多猜猜，这样她就能多想想你。 4.约会时: “呃，不好意思，我有点晕了，我想要回家休息一下,” :回家,我们俩才刚认识不久，发展的太快了吧。我没有那么随便的，我不会和你回家的 :“我是说我回自己家 :可能你还没有明白，我是不会和你一起回家的，我不是那么随便的人，所以别打我主意了。 5.别紧张我又不是什么好人(魔鬼经典对白) 6.在女人眼中不做决定，比做一个错误的决定要糟的多 十二、深层次话块连情:(只有教程里有的) 通过对方的谈话来分析提炼对方当时的情绪和情感波动 或者直接问:你当时做和感想, 你那时怎么想的,你当时感觉怎么样, 惯例 1.百分之九十三的人每星期内有二点五天会觉的上班累 2.对视压力 让她的目光先从你身上移开 潜沟通 你懂女人 3.延迟微笑 在目光对视大约0.5秒以后再笑 4.说话慢一点，把每一个子都发音到位 5.适时地停顿 6.面对沉静压力，但你得保证由能由她打破沉默 7.学会降调，把疑问句后面的疑问词去掉， 吧 吗 好吗 全去掉，用降调 8.换穿风格差异大的服装 9.晚上想象千条路，早上出门走原路(同样来自马云的一次演讲，我觉的也有PUA范儿呀) source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 十二、女孩叫你送他回家 你:啊,女孩子矜持一点好不好，我和你还不是很熟，我们连亲都还没亲过，我可不是这么随便的人 她:你正经一点，到底送不送 你:好送，但我只送温柔可爱的女人，来，做个可爱的表情给我看看 十三、多读几遍下面的这段话 你大脑控制情绪，感性力量的部分视最原始的，是不讲逻辑的，不讲道理的，而大脑控制逻辑，辩证，分析等理性力量的部分视大脑皮层，也就是人类高智商所在的部分 十四、惯例派送 1、你:你相信命中注定吗, 她:不说话 你:看来你是相信的 她:为什么 你:天机不可泄露 2、你:你其实是一个挺有耐心的人 她:为什么 你:我要是不告诉你为什么你就会不停地问为什么 十五、最后要你多读几遍的几句话 1、女人是天生非理性的，不善做决定的，几乎所有的女人都在为一件事情而苦恼 做决定 2、她答应你的愿意百分百和表白无关，一定是她已经被你吸引，你的表白不过是水道渠成罢了 source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of 3、让女人喜欢你不需要任何表白，把心思放在如何让她觉得和你在一起的时间很快乐 十六、最后一句本人特别爱用的话: 女孩吃醋了，最好当众来这么一句:"你吃醋的样子很可爱嘛，我喜欢" source of inexhaustible power and to promote economic and social development. County upper and lower must station in global of height, more deep awareness technology innovation, and talent intelligence of major meaning, zoom talent on development of support role, constantly push city WCB two learn a do learning arrangements specific programme for ensure "two learn a do" learning education made effectiveness, promote global members consciously respected Constitution, and comply with party rules, with XI General Secretary series important speech spirit armed mind, and guide practice, and promoted work, do qualified Communist, according to Communist XX provincial Organization Department issued < on "two learn a do "Learning arrangements of specific programme > of notification (x group pass (2016) 15th,) and Communist XX Municipal Office issued < on in city members in the carried out" learn Constitution Party rules, and learn series speech, do qualified members "learning education implementation programme > of notification (x do (2016) 12th,) spirit, according to distinguish level, and has targeted solution problem of requirements, now on learning arrangements proposed following specific programme. Learning requirements, on all party members to study the party Constitution and party rules and unify the XI series of important speech, General Secretary, speech learning series to deepen understanding of the Constitution Party rules, Constitution Party rules in the deep insight series address the basic spirit and practical requirements. 1. study the party Constitution and party rules read read the statutes of