经典英文故事——阿拉丁神灯 (1)

经典英文故事——阿拉丁神灯 (1) Aladdin and the magic lamp 人物设定(按出场顺序) Aladdin(老邓~):一个住在海边的长得粗犷的智商偏低的有老婆的傻逼 Jasmine(张嘎文):一个住在海边的长得粗犷的智商偏低的有老婆的傻逼的老婆 The magic lamp(姜新g~):不用说话不用动一直蹲在边上的灯，灯亮了就姜新咧嘴笑 Genie(唐美女):十分狂拽酷炫屌炸天的牛逼闪闪的灯神 Monica(健伟~):阿拉丁家的菲佣 King(浩lan~):goddess的爸 国王 Queen(郑仪淋):goddess的妈 皇后 CEO(健伟~):Aladdin升职加薪当上总经理，出任CEO Clever officer1(叶淑女): Clever officer2(安yi萌~): Security(桐爷):公主的保安 Goddess(郝俊ze):Aladdin许愿后 jasmine变成的白富美，岛国公主 Daughter(潘佳佳):Aladdin的女儿 引入本来雅雅他们要弄的睡美人 Angel(矮恬~):一个矮矮的善娘的小天使 Witch(高雅雅):穿插睡美人的剧情 据雅雅要求 要当巫婆啦啦啦 Prince(晓瑜~):并不是真爱的王子 Knight(韩呆璐~):吻醒佳佳的骑士~自由发挥 很久以前，有一个穷逼渔民，名叫阿拉丁，他和他的妻子jasmine住在一个小村庄里，阿拉丁他十分的努力干活，但还是过着穷苦的日子。 Long ago, a poor fisherman named Aladdin lived in a small village with his wife jasmine. Aladdin works hard everyday.but he still very poor. 阿拉丁的妻子jasmine十分的傻逼，有一天，她在家中(噶文出厂)跳减肥操时不小心把蜡烛弄倒了，然后把家里全烧了，阿拉丁回家时，便只看到jasmine在一片废墟边跳减肥操，阿拉丁十分的生气，但他已经习惯了妻子的愚蠢，于是他只能默默的去海边散心，走着走着，他突然发现地上有一坨小小的东西(小新。。。)，他便捡起来看了看，是一盏旧旧的灯，他心想着，正好家里没灯，就带回去吧。于是他擦了擦准备放回兜里，这时天边突然闪了一道亮光(随便找个人开下手电筒)从灯的头上突然钻出了一个美若癫痫的女子，她肤白胜雪，又高又瘦，阿拉丁菊花一紧，心想莫非这是天上的女神下来玩耍,～ “hello，my people，what's up~”asked the Genie. “who are you～” “I’m the genie of the magic lamp,you can call me goddess,do you need me ?” “umm...you looks very thin and weak,what can you do for me?” “(狂笑三声)I can do everything!you have three wishes” “oh!!!really?!my wife jasmine is very foolish,can you make her the most beautiful and cleverest woman in the world just like the princess of our country though I have never met the princess before.” “of course I can,but you need to ask the king of your country for permission.” “yeah,so ,I want you to make me become a rich man with a nice palace and a cute Filipino maids” The genie said:”巴啦啦能量-沙罗沙罗-小魔仙-全身变” 突然之间，阿拉丁坐在一栋豪宅里面，(菲佣(蛋萎出厂)正在帮他按摩，)他感觉像在做梦一样，这时，天空飘来几个字“快去找公主”，他便急忙起身，去了宫殿里面。 (国王浩lan~和皇后郑仪淋坐在大殿里面) (The king said):”who are you?” “Aladdin.” “wow!Aladdin!you are the richest man in our country!”(said the Queen) “really?!”(said Aladdin) “yeah!look at the TV”(还是Queen说的) (插广告:) (健伟靠你了～)阿拉丁神鱼，每天卖出三亿条鱼，连起来可绕地球一圈，以前啊，我走一步路就全身抽搐，四肢瘫痪，可是吃了阿拉丁神鱼后，一口气走五步，不费劲～ (画面切到坐在办公桌前的CEO(健伟出厂)，各种翻材料) officer1(叶淑女出厂)交材料，矮恬拿到，说:“no,no,no,no,no”叶淑女掩面娇羞离开 Officer2(安yi萌出厂)交材料，矮恬拿到，说:“yes，yes，yes，yes，yes”然后十分灿烂的笑。诶 这里自由发挥咯。。。 (切回到宫殿里) “I am the CEO of the world’s biggest fish-selling company?!I can’t believe my self!” “alright,you can marry my daughter~” “thank you,my father-in-law!” (国王皇后下场，阿拉丁往前走，保安桐爷出厂露出花痴状) “oh!!!you are Aladdin!!!you are so handsome,can I have your signature?” (Aladdin潇洒装逼的签字)“of course~” (桐爷欢快的离开,Aladdin推开门 看到胖子要带头纱的背影)”oh my princess,you are so beautiful and thin!I wanna marry you!Don't say no no no no no just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and we'll go go go go go If you're ready,like I'm ready” (配乐Bruno Mars-marry you 俩人最好跳个舞~) (Aladdin深情的掀开胖子的头纱，然后自由发挥 最好有舞台效果一点的 然后仰天长啸然后回家) (回到家中)Monica:”can I help you?!” “where is my magic lamp” “over there”(随便指一个地方 小新自己跑过来蹲着 Aladdin搓小新的脸两下 Genie钻出来) “do you wanna say another wish?my friend?you have two wishes till now” “I don’t wanna marry the beautiful princess anymore,I wanna Jasmine back” “OK,巴啦啦能量---苏湖哇---变～” (小新又默默的退场，噶文出厂) 阿拉丁与Jasmine幸福的生活在了一起，不久，他们的女儿Doris出生了，Doris一出生就是18岁的模样，同样的，也是18岁的体重，这让Aladdin十分高兴，所以他提前给女儿办了一个成年礼，成年礼上来了很多人和物，学界泰斗、商业巨子、政坛精英等等都没有来，来的有阿拉丁家的菲佣Monica，阿拉丁的老婆Jasmine，阿拉丁，天使恬 天使恬(矮恬出厂)十分善良，于是开始对着Doris的身体许愿， “People often laugh at me because I’m very short...so I hope this little girl will become very tall in the future,maybe twice as taller as me”(矮恬适当配合肢体动作) “被人嘲笑矮真的很可怜~thank you for your truly wish!”(噶文站在矮恬边上说) The room suddenly went dark,after a great flash of light a small dark figure stood in front of Aladdin and Jasmine.It was the witch(雅雅出厂) “why wasn’t I invited to the celebration?”she screamed “because we don’t have enough money to buy more invitation”said the Aladdin ”Don’t treat me like a fool!All the fairies(其实就一个)have given their blessings.well,here’s mine for Doris.when this celebration over,she will die from overeating.” Another flash of light and the fairy was gone. “what should I do?”said Aladdin. “Asking the beautiful Genie for help.”said Monica 小新再次默默移动到边上，Aladdin再次搓小新脸两下，美女灯神出来 “what can I do for you while you only have one chance to bless~” “I don’t want my daughter die after this celebration.” “um...considered your daughter’s weight is heavier than other kids at her age,I only can make her fall asleep and one day,there will be a prince come here and kiss your daughter to wake her up.” “okay,you are the best、tallest thinnest and most beautiful Genie I have ever met.” “thank you for telling me the truth,bye-bye.” 知道方法后，阿拉丁便找来了本国的王子(晓瑜出厂)并用一条鱼收买了他来亲吻自己的女儿Doris， “can you kiss my daughter?” “no no no, I’m a man with my own principle.” “Do you like eat Aladdin amazing fish?” “yes!of course!” “you can eat it everyday if you wake up my daughter.” “okay,let’s go!” (切换到躺在床上的Doris) “how old is she?” “younger than one year old.” “whoa!it’s amazing...” (王子吻下去，Doris没反应) “it’s impossible!I’m the most handsome man in our country...” “get out.”said Jasmine Aladdin 和Jasmine都因为不能弄醒自己不到一岁的女儿而伤心，有一天，一位英俊的骑士出现了(呆萌露出厂) “your daughter is so lovely.”he said,He had fallen completely in love with her.”How can I wake her” “make your self at home.” He leant over and gently kissed her. (然后骑士亲了Doris,Doris慢慢睁开眼) The first person she saw was the Knight and she fell in love with him. “daddy?mommy?”said Doris “oh you are true love of my daughter.”said Jasmine “could you marry me?”said Doris “I’d love to!”said the Knight Together they walked down to the hall.and there is a wedding. From that day on, Doris and the Knight lived happily ever after.