2016英文小笑话带翻译最短

2016英文小笑话带翻译最短 精品文档 2016英文小笑话带翻译最短 Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩:我!我现在要回家了。 What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can’t jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 1 / 10 精品文档 Wife: “How would you describe me?” 妻子:你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” 丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: “What does that mean?” 妻子:那是什么意思? Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” 丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” 妻子:哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: “I’m just kidding!” 丈夫:开个玩笑! Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered. “You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 2 / 10 精品文档 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱. “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个 好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那 位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的.” “Are we poisonous?” the young snake asked his mother. “Yes, dear,” she replied - “Why do you ask?” “Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue! “ “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲. “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.” Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It’s no use, my little dog can’t read. 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.” -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. 3 / 10 精品文档 -- I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 服务员, 这个龙虾只有一只爪. -- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了. -- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧. 顾客:小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了! 服务员:别担心，先生，不是很烫! Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! 一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。 “你疯了吗?”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!” “什么?”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上?” A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?” “What” answers the waiter, “You want it to fall on the floor again?” 服务员:茶或咖啡?先生。 第一个顾客:我要茶 第二个顾客:我也是茶——杯子要干净的! 服务员:两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子? 4 / 10 精品文档 Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?” 1st customer: “I’ll have tea.” nd customer: “Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!” (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?” 服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么? 看起来象是在仰泳，先生„„ Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup? Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir... 服务员，汤里有只苍蝇! 别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。 Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! Don’t worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get ‘em. 服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇! 不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。 Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! No sir, that’s a cockroach, the fly is on your steak. 服务员，汤里有只苍蝇! 5 / 10 精品文档 别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。 Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! Keep it down sir, or they’ll all be wanting one. 服务员，汤里有只苍蝇! 我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。 Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! Its OK, Sir, there’s no extra charge! 服务员，汤里有只苍蝇! 对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。 Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Sorry sir, maybe I’ve forgotten it when I removed the other three. 服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇! 是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。 Waiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir, it’s the hot water that kills them. 服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇! 1美元你想要什么——活的? aiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one? 服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂! 是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。 6 / 10 精品文档 Waiter, waiter, there’s a bee in my soup. Yes Sir, it’s the fly’s day off. 服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。 对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样? Waiter, I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream. I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk? 服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。 没关系，先生，它不缩水。 Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That’s all right, sir, it’s not shrinkable. Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, “Mom, I had a dream last night that I’d passed today’s exam.”“Don’t trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite.” Mother replied.”Then I do hope I’ll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight,” Tom said. 在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈，我昨 天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相 信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答 道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及 7 / 10 精品文档 格。”汤姆说。 Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don’t give me a nickel I’ll tell my father.Sister’s boyfriend: No, don’t do that. Here’s a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I’ve made this month. 弟弟:我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱， 我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男朋友:不要那样做。给你五分钱。 弟弟:我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。 Two Pieces of Cake Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please? Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two! 两块蛋糕 汤姆:妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗? 妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧! Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him? Ron: Well, I don’t know---does he bite? Reggie: That’s what I want to find out. 里基:我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一 会吗? 罗恩:嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗? 8 / 10 精品文档 里基:这正是我想要查明的。 Professor: When is your birthday? Kid: May0. Professor: Which year? Kid: Every year. 教授:你的生日是什么时候? 孩子:5月30日。 教授:哪一年? 孩子:每年都是。 Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 老师: 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是 燕子，哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was 9 / 10 精品文档 punished for something that I didn’t do. The mother exclaimed, But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn’t do? The little girl replied, My homework. 一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说:妈妈，今 天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。 妈妈激动地说:那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好 谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么? 小女孩回答说:我的家庭作业。 10 / 10