b 12 The Everlasting Witness

b 12 The Everlasting Witness Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 永远的证人 12-1 The three were eating breakfast on the 他们三人在平台上吃早餐，花园的树林里有很terrace, a thousand and one felicitous birds in the 多鸟，欢快地歌唱。 garden trees. In unsullied damp brown circles of soft earth the 圆形花坛里土质肥沃，潮湿松软的棕色土地roses bloomed serenely against the pink Mexican 上，一束束玫瑰静静地开着，映衬着粉红色的墨西wall. 哥墙壁。 Marian's brother-in-law read the English page, as 此时，玛丽安德妹夫正在读报，他被英语版部dedicated as a nice little boy reading the funnies, and 分吸引住了，像一个可爱的小孩子在欣赏连环漫画Theresa, Marian's sister, chatted softly and merrily 时那么专注。玛丽安德妹妹丽萨正在低声愉快地谈about their next week-end holiday. 论着下个周末的假日， Theresa's bright smile had always been her mark 特丽萨的欢快笑容一向是她的特征，现在她没and now, childless and with a husband beyond war 有抚养孩子的负担，丈夫已超过入伍的年龄，生活age, and a life both ordered and gay, it looked as if 快乐而有条理，因此她的笑是有理由的。 that smile had justified itself. 12-2 Marian opened her mouth to tell them what 玛丽安张了张嘴想告诉他们她前一天晚上的she had done the night before and then she closed it on 活动，但她咬了一口奶油蛋糕，没有作声。 brioche, no words. What she had done was to try and find the film 前一天晚上，她在试图寻找那一部电影。这是again, the war newsreel in which she had seen Jerry, 一部战争新闻影片，她曾在里面看到了她的儿子杰her son. 里。 Or had she seen him? 她看到的真是她的儿子吗, They ought to be told that the uncertainty had 应该告诉他们她的这种疑虑并没因这次墨西not been removed by this trip to Mexico. 哥之行而自行消失。 But her next and clearer thought was that this 但接下去她又清楚地知道这是她自己的事情，matter was all her own and had to be accomplished 只能自己解决而不应求助于他人。 without help. Evidence of that was her husband's letting her 她丈夫之所以同意她一人来墨西哥就证明了come down alone ; the trip to Mexico was for her to 这一点。墨西哥之行就是要她找到自我，重新站起find herself, get back on her feet , return to him 来，治好心头的创伤后回到他身边。 healed. 1 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 12-3 The night before the first night her sister 前一天晚上——她的妹妹和妹夫把她单独留and brother-in-law had left her alone she had gone to 在家里的第一个晚上——她找到词典，查了两个词the dictionary and got the two words cine and guerra, “电影院”和“战争”，把两个词组合在一起，加and combining them with a question mark had asked 了一个问号，然后按黄页电话簿上列的电影院的电them over and over on the phone, going down the 话，一家挨一家地打下去。 movie houses in the yellow section of the book. At one of the box offices a golden Mexican 在其中的一个售票处，一个说着纯正英语的墨voice told her in perfect English that the word she 西哥人的声音告诉她，她想说的那个词不是“电影wanted was not cine but noticias. 院”而是“新闻”片。 She now knew, whether correctly or not, that 无论正确与否，她现在总算弄清了有三个地方three places had newsreels about the war. 放映战争新闻片。 12-4 The Olimpia, the del Prado, and the Cine 这三个地点分别是奥林匹亚、普拉多和墨西哥Mexico. 电影院。 She found out exactly where each one was on the 她在她的红色旅行指南的地图上找到每个电map in her red guidebook. 影院的确切位置。 For that matter she would drive herself and keep 她决定独自驾车去办这事，以便自己完全控制the whole event within her control. 这件事。 Maybe this was why she had brought her car to 这也许是她把汽车带到墨西哥的原因吧。 Mexico.' She knew that her husband (who was Jerry's 她知道丈夫(他是杰里的继父，因此在多方面stepfather and therefore involved multifoldly in her 卷入了她的痛苦，而不像亲生父亲那样单一卷入)suffering, not singly as a real father would have 同意她离开他到墨西哥来，是因为她的妹妹在墨西been ) had let her go away from him only because her 哥， sister was in Mexico. He was also pretty sure she wouldn't be able to 而且他确信她在那儿不会看到那部影片。 see the film there. 他的预想没有起作用，因为她不能够让它起作 But that part had not worked because she hadn't 用。 been able to let it work. 12-5 Five months ago she had the notice that 五个月前，她接到通知，说儿子杰里在一次行Jerry was missing inaction. 动中失踪。 Twenty-and-a-half years old. 他现在刚刚二十一岁半。 His father had died early in the other war. 杰里七岁时，他的父亲死于另一场战争。 2 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness Jerry was seven then and she had had to manage 她只得一人把他拉扯大，所以有时候她不能满him alone, had sometimes failed him , had sometimes 足孩子的一些要求，有时她感到负担太沉重，但她been burdened too greatly, but she had always loved 一直是爱他的。 him. She had married again when he was seventeen 儿子十七岁时，她又结婚了，但这次结婚并没but this had not given him a retroactive father for the 有送他一个能倒回过去、弥补她在试二、十三、十twelve-thirteen-fourteen-year-old times of crisis . 四岁时的关键时刻所缺少的父亲的爸爸。 So he was not ready for the army when he had to 所以在他被征入伍时，他还没做好准备， go. He had been mixed up and scared . 他感到迷茫，恐惧， And in six months he was missing in action. 六个月后就在一次行动中失踪了。 12-6 She could hardly remember now what 他现在几乎记不起来她接到通知后的痛苦心happened to her right after the notification . 情。 Nightmares of looking for him over hills of the 她常做噩梦，在梦中她看到山上碎石中有很多rubbled dying, finding the hand to give it warmth, 尸体，她在那里寻找儿子，她找到了他的手，她抚reaching to the wrist; and then the sweat of terror 摸它，给他温暖，并触到了他的手腕，接着她一阵which brought her back to what she supposed must 恐惧，满身冷汗，这使她从噩梦中醒来，回到了她be reality . 猜想的现实中来。 12-7 It was like that until she saw the picture the 这种情形一直持续到她第一次看到那个电影， first time. They went to the movies fairly often. 他们经常去电影院， Her husband always knew what they were going 她丈夫对于他们要看什么影片，总是很清楚，to see, asked the times carefully, got to the main 小心问清时间，这样他们就只看正片，避开了新闻picture and avoided newsreels. 片。 Once two indolent people in the seats next to 但有一次，正片结束后，邻座的两个懒汉，让theirs delayed them, and the newsreel started. 他们拖延了一会儿，新闻片就开始了。 From the beginning it was about the war. 开头是关于战争的报导。 She sat down again, her hands right in her lap. 于是她又坐下，两只手放在膝盖上， Her husband was lost to her. 忘记了丈夫的存在， She was alone. 好像她是独自一人在那里。 They were showing the finest new weapons, 影片在展示最新式的先进武器，气势壮观，亮grand, shining, and built perfectly for death. 光闪闪，是专门为杀人而制造的。 Her hands and her neck began to sweat. 她的双手和脖颈开始流汗。 But she knew that no emotion was pertinent. 但她知道，她这时的感情是难以言状的。 3 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 12-8 And then some soldier boys came on the 接下来屏幕上出现了一些年轻的男兵， screen. They were prisoners of war. 他们都是战俘。 Someone had got a chance to take their pictures 有人乘机在监狱的大门前拍下了他们的照片。 at a prison-compound gate. They were thin, young, sick American soldiers 这是一些年轻、干瘦、病弱的美国大兵，他们moving bemused. 面无表情地走动着。 She felt her blood pricking along her temples 她感到太阳穴的血液如针刺一样，心脏受到重and there was pressure in her chest below the 压。杰里可能在那儿。 hollow. Jerry could be there. So strong a hope must play delaying games. 这种强烈希望肯定会使电影延续下去， He was not there. 但他不在那儿。 12-9 He was there. One boy stood with his back 他在那儿，一个男孩背对着镜头站着，他屈身to the camera, leaning stooped against a gate lintel, 倚着大门的门楣，一只手抓着门柱，在这只手的一and on the finger of the hand that held the post there 个手指上，她认出了一个戒指。 was a ring she recognized. There wouldn't be another like it. 不可能再有第二个这样的戒指了， She had had it made for Jerry's father. 这是她为杰里的父亲定做的。 The boy with his back to the camera began to 那个背对镜头的男孩开始站直了身体，他就要straighten up; he was turning. 转身， But the picture was over. 但就在此时，画面结束了。 12-10 The next was a roll-skating race. 接下来是一场旱冰赛。 She got out of the seat still unconscious of her 她从座位站起，仍旧没有感到丈夫的存在。她husband , and went to the ladies' room where she 去了洗手间，在那儿呕吐了一阵，很快恢复过来，vomited and then, immediately, in a renewal of energy, 脑子里充满了。 was full of plans. 12-11 Her husband went with her three times to 她的丈夫又陪她去了三次电影院，然后让她答see the film, and after that asked her to promise not to 应再也不去电影院了 go any more. She made the promise but she could not keep it. 她答应了他，但却不能遵守诺言。 The first time she saw the picture alone she was 当她第一次一个人去看那个影片时，她就相信sure there was more action, only a flicking motion, but 接着还有更多的动作，只是一闪而过的动作，但还more. 有， That was hope and she had to feed it. 这就是希望，她必须助长这种希望。 4 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 12-12 She followed the film to every booking in 她跟着这部影片，走遍了城里每一个售票处，town, second run, in the suburbs, in the drive-ins . 甚至第二轮在郊区电影院，露天影院上映，她也去 看。 Sometimes she stayed afterwards to see the 有时候画面结束后，她留下来观看旱冰皇后的roller-skating queens. 表演。 Sometimes she came out quickly, leaving her 有时候，她会很快走出影院，把她的那些孩子boys behind in the dark. 们留在了黑暗中。 She knew them all and they were Jerry's friends. 她全认识他们，他们是杰里的朋友。 She thought they were talking to him, "Why don't 她想他们一定在对他说:“你为什么不转身呢，you turn around, kid? 孩子, We ain't going to play up to this and grin from 我们并不想从这部影片中得什么好处，咧嘴大ear to ear to make out we're well off, but you better at 笑以表明我们处境还不错。 least turn around. 但你至少应该转过身去，你母亲可能很想看到 Your mother might be glad to see you. 你呢～” " He was obstinate as he always had been, and a 但他还像以前那样倔强，动作有点慢，但他确little slow, but he had been getting ready to turn. 实预备转身了。 No, she was sure he had turned. 不，她确信他转身了。 12-13 And how could she have imagined that 但他是怎么想到在墨西哥情况会有不同呢, Mexico would be any different? The Olimpia, the del Prado, and the Cine 奥林匹亚、普拉多和墨西哥影院都 Mexico. None of them first-run so it was possible. 还没有首映过那部影片，所以这是有可能的。 She wanted to ask her brother-in- law behind his 她想向把脸埋在报纸后面的妹夫询问一下他newspaper what they did to American newsreels here, 们这里是怎样处理美国影片的，会不会剪掉更多的cut them more? 内容, But the risk was too much. 但这无疑是一种很大的冒险， They might lie to her or in some other way to 他们会向她撒谎或以其它方式去阻止她看那keep her from going. 部影片。 12-14 When she arrived a fortnight before she 两周前她到达墨西哥时提出要与妹妹分做一had asked her sister to give her a duty in the house. 些家务。 So Theresa gave her the flowers to arrange. 于是特里萨就让她摆放花。 The house was not far from the flower market. 这儿距离花市不远， Marian had gone there every few days. 玛丽安每隔几天就去一次， 5 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness Up to now Theresa went with her, or dropped her 直到现在，特里萨一直陪着她去，或者开车接and picked her up. 送。 Today she would go in her own car, she told 今天，她已告诉他们，她要自己开车去那儿。 them. 12-15 "Are you sure you know the way, “你确信你知道路吗，玛丽安,” Marian?" 12-16 "Of course, I know it perfectly. " “当然，我记得很清楚。” Her voice was sensible and secure . 她的声音坚定，口气毋庸置疑。 12-17 But she dallied, first on the terrace and 她先是在平台上磨蹭了一会儿，然后在花园的then on the way across the park. 路上逗留了一阵。 This was the day. But what day? 这一天终于来了，这将是怎样的一天呢, 12-18 Now, stopped by the road in the park, she 现在，她把车停在公园的路边，她果断地决定，decided categorically that if she found him, found 如果她能找到他，现在在这里找到那个电影，她就the picture here and now, she would know he was 知道他还活着，她就会保持女人原有的风度，耐心、alive and she would simply make waiting womanly 理智地等他回来。 and rational. And if she did not see it in the del Prado, Olimpia, 但是，如果她在普拉多、奥林匹亚和墨西哥这or Cine Mexico then she would say he was dead. 三个影院里没有找到他，她就会认为他已经死了。 Because war is death or life. 因为战争不是死就是活， The line must be drawn, and if it was on death's 必须划清界线。如果他已经死亡，她会痛苦欲side then her heart would have to break and she would 绝，但还是不得不回到原来的生活，重新回到丈夫have to go back to life, get back to her husband. 身边。 It was a decision. 她就这样做了决定， The uncertainty was at last behind her. 不再犹豫不定了。 12-19 At the flower market she walked up and 在花市，她在花摊前来回走动。由于有了自己clown in front of the stalls, and saw more clearly 的决定，她现在觉得眼前的事物清晰起来了，她是because of her decision, so she thought. 这样想的。 She looked at the flowers. 她看看花， She looked at the people. 看看人。 There was a family at the farthest stand. 在最远处的花摊有一家人， The woman's face was sad. But her hands were 那个妇女看起来满面忧伤，但她的手很美，她beautiful. She was nursing a baby. 正在给一个婴儿喂奶。 6 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness Marian wanted no grand flowers, only the soft 玛丽安不想要那些惹人眼目的花儿，只想捡一and touchable . 些温和而又可触摸的花儿。 She bought a big wheel of red carnations, and 于是，她就买了一个红红的康乃馨大花环和一some little gentle-petalled primroses with shiny clark 些花瓣嫰美德樱草花，花的周围带有叶子，闪着绿green leaves. 色光泽。 She was loaded clown beyond the vases or 她买得太多，不但花瓶插不下，就连她妹妹家even the places for flowers in her sister's house. 放花的地方也盛不下。 She turned away at last and ran head on into the 最后她转身去，恰与一个为她开车门的男人撞man who opened car doors. 了个正着。 12-20 He had a shaking sickness and his face 这个人患有颤抖病，他的脸显得很臃肿、苍老，looked old and bloated and its muscles were jerking. 全身肌肉也正抽搐着。 He seemed to recognize her although he looked 他看起来是一个十足的白痴，但他好像还是认all of an idiot. 出了她。 He puttered to her car and fumbled for her car 他摇摇晃晃地走到她的车旁，摸索着正要为她door. 开车门。 12-21 "No," she said sharply, and shuddered “不”，她尖厉地说，同时又打了个冷战，因because she could not stand the touch of his hand on 为她不能忍受这样的手触摸她的车门。 her door. Then she turned back, not knowing exactly why 她转过了身，自己也说不清为什么转身，——telling herself that it was because to carry that load 她对自己说，这是因为拿着这些花并连续几个小时of flowers and leave them in a parked car for 都放在一个停着的车里面真不可思议。 possibly some hours, was absurd. Standing in front of the flower-stand woman she 站在那个花摊主人面前，她知道她不必解释为knew she would not have to explain that she wanted to 什么要把花留下来， leave them. The woman asked her husband to take the 那个妇女让她丈夫把花拿走，放在了花摊后flowers and put them behind the stand. 面。 12-22 So now she was going to the del Prado. 她现在要驾车向普拉多影院。 Now she could go, whatever was the need for 她可以放心地走了，不管为什么要买花，花儿buying flowers, taken care of. 已买好并寄放在花主那儿， She banged the car door and drove away. 她“哐”的一声关上车门，就开走了。 12-23 Downtown, she parked her car in a garage. 在市中心，她把车停在汽车房。 Everything was getting ready for this moment. 一切准备都是为了这一刻， 7 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness She did not carry the flowers in her car but she 他虽然没把花带到车上，但她却带在心上。 carried them in her heart. Now she was going to find out whether it was 因为此刻她将要弄清儿子生死的真相， death or life. 她能够接受两者中的任何一种可能。 Either she could tolerate . It did not occur to her that the newsreel might not 此刻，她没有考虑过这个影院也许不放映那部be there. 影片。 12-24 It was there. 影院里有那部影片。 12-25 She came in the middle of a French 她进去时，正在演法国的古装片，已演了一半， costume picture. The French words were finely enunciated. 法语字说得非常清楚。 A French gentleman in top hat and cane sang 影片在一个带着高顶礼帽、手持拐杖的法国男something which ended the picture. 士的演唱中结束了。 Then the theatre was dark. 顿时影院一片漆黑， There was the jerking flicker of a reel starting 接下来是影片开开和停停颤颤闪光，片头向前and stopping, conglomerate unhuman figures and 跳动时出现的一些交错在一起的、似人非人的形状motion, whistles from the audience. It started. She 和动作，观众吹起来口哨声，电影开始了。她看到saw the word noticias. 了新闻短片这个词。 12-26 She was burning hot from head to foot. 她全身热血沸腾， The prisoners of war scene opened the newsreel. 影片一开始就是一些战俘画面， Here they had omitted the cannons. 这里他们删掉了大炮部分， The boys were before her eyes. 那些孩子们就直接进入了她的视觉。 She had not doubted she was going to see them 她将要看到他们，这一点她确信不疑，但这并but this did not keep her from being frightened. 没有消除她的恐惧。 12-27 She had long ago given the boys names. 她早已给他们起了名字， Chris was a slender blond who was whittling 叫克瑞斯的是一个纤瘦、白肤金发的男青年，away. 他一直在削着什么， He stood there all during the picture. 在这个画面中，他一直站在那儿， "I love him with all my heart, " she whispered to “我从心里痛爱这个孩子”她喃喃自语，以语herself, forming the words to make them solid. 言来使他们实实在在的存在。 (She knew she loved Chris that much because (她知道她之所以这样疼爱克瑞斯是因为她of her pent-up love and terror for Jerry. ) 对杰里那种被压抑的爱和对他下落不明的恐惧) She looked sideways to the right but without 她向右看去，但没有改变头的姿势， shifting her head. 8 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness Now it was Walter on the screen, dear Walter 现在屏幕上是沃特胡须已长长了好长，脖子里with a deep stubble on his face and a scarf wrapped 围着一条围巾， around his neck . "He has a cold," she thought. “他感冒了”，她想， Why she had never thought it before, she 她感到奇怪，为什么以前没有这样想过。 wondered. She remembered faster than lightning many a 她脑子里飞速闪现过很多治感冒的处方，包括cold-remedy including steaming eucalyptus oil. 蒸桉树油。 Jerry had always had colds when he was little, 杰里小时候易患感冒，这个处方对他最有效。 and that had worked the best . She smelled eucalyptus. 她好像闻到了桉树油的气味。 The smell was a barrier she was holding on to , 这气味是一种屏障，借助于它，她可以阻止影to keep the movie from going ahead. 片往下进行。 And she managed to keep it back. 她竭力阻止电影继续演下去， But all the same it did come to the boy who 但影片上还是演到了那个很可能是杰里的男might be Jerry. 孩。 12-28 There was the hand on the gate post, and 门柱上放着那只手，手上还是那个戒指。 the ring. The hand looked chapped and wizened, not a 但那手看起来粗糙、干瘪，根本不像一个男孩boy's. 子的手。 The boy to whom it belonged began to turn. 手的主人已经开始转身。 Her eyes blinked, waiting for the end anxiously. 她急切地眨着严峻，焦虑地等待着结果。 He turned farther round. 他还在慢慢转身。 With her eyes riveted on him she could still see 她目光紧紧盯住他，同时她又能看到克瑞斯的Chris in the back. 背影， The face of the boy who turned, now filling the 那个孩子转过身了，他的脸占据了整个镜头，camera, unmercifully filling the screen, was Jerry's 又毫不留情地被扩展到整个屏幕，这是杰里的脸。face, but it was blank , as empty as an idiot's. 但这是一张没有表情的脸，如同一个白痴。 He grimaced with his mouth and the hand with 他嘴部扭曲，表情痛苦，他伸出那只戴戒指的the ring was lifted to catch the twitching, trying to 手尽力去克制肌肉的抽动。 hold it. His eyes were focused straight out and his 他目光呆滞，直视前方。她的母亲被淹没在他mother drowned in those vacant eyes. 那茫然没有表情的目光里。 9 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 12-29 There was an indrawn breath of horror 观众中传来了因恐惧而吸气的声音，接下来是from the audience and then the anxious and 一种不安的，持续不停的窃笑。 everlasting titter. And Marian heard everything. 玛丽安听到了这一切， She saw everything. 也看到了这一切。 A woman had been plucking at her mouth. 一位妇女一直不停地在掐自己的嘴巴，接着是 She, and then a man, took her gently arm-in-arm 她和一个男人一起搀着她慢慢地走到了有光亮的and brought her out into the light. 地方。 12-30 "Please madam, to where may we take “请问夫人，我们该把你送到哪儿呢, you? Are you in this hotel?" 你住在这个旅馆吗,” 12-31 She shook her head, unable yet to speak. 12-32 "May I not call a doctor?" “我是不是给你找个医生来,” 12-33 "No, no." She knew now she would be “不，不用，”她知道她现在能照顾自己了。 able to take care of herself. She wanted to drive her car, in motion and 她想开她的车，在运动和紧张中寻求休息。 tension to find rest. She gave them the parking tag . 她把停车牌给了他们， Once she looked at them while they were all 当他们都在等待汽车开过来时，她看了他们一waiting for the car and she saw she would always and 眼。她知道他会永远记得他们，并被他们记得。 forever know them and be known by them. 12-34 "Madam, is it for you to drive all right? " “夫人，你能开车吗,他把“all”中的两个“l” He said the double "I" against the "r" as if it were 依靠在”right中的“r”上，这好像是一个陌生人a caress that one known stranger was permitted to 给另一个陌生人的一种合乎礼仪的爱抚。 give another. 12-35 "Yes," she said, and "Goodbye and “能”。她答道，“谢谢你们，再见～” thanks." For the first time she felt like crying ; it was 她第一次有一种想哭的感觉，因为她必须跟他because she had to say goodbye to them. 们说再见了。 10 Lesson Twelve The Everlasting Witness 12-36 She drove out to the park and around 她把车开到了公园，并在周围转了一会儿。 for a while. And then she knew she must go to a place. 现在她知道她必须去一个地方，除了那个花She had no place to go except the flower stands. 摊，她没有别的地方可以去， She had marked that for return and she 她已经把那里定为返回的地方，现在她必须返must return to it. 回。 12-37 Right in front of a parking place at the 在花市的停车场的正前方，那个管开关车门的flower market, the opener and closer of doors, the 人，也即是那个白痴，正坐在路边，他双腿弯曲伸idiot, sat on the curb with his knees doubled over 进排水沟里， into the gutter. 他睡着了，头斜靠着电话线杆， He was sleeping, his head thrown back against a telephone pole. His hands were thrown down on the 手也不再颤抖，随便地放在路边的水泥上，好cement of the sidewalk, no longer trembling, but 像已不属于他的主人。 abandoned . Nor was his head trembling and shaking. 他的头不再颤抖，摇动， His face asleep was beautiful. 熟睡的脸看起来很美。 He was not old, no, not old nor bloated as 他不苍老，不再像她先前所认为的那样苍老臃she had thought him, but thin and defenceless as 肿，而是像熟睡的孩子那样瘦小、无助、漂亮，一the sleeping young are, beautiful, and an idiot. 个白痴。 11