超级。巨经典!笑话丝丝如题

超级。巨经典!笑话丝丝如题 超级。巨经典～笑话丝丝如题 1、关于本能 一家专营女性婚姻服务的店在市中心全新开张～女人们可以直接进去挑选—个心仪的配偶。在店门口～立了一面告示牌:—个人只能进去逛—次!店里共有六层楼～随着高度的上升～男人的质量也越高～不过请注意～顾客能在任何一层楼选—个丈夫或者选择上楼～但不能回到以前逛过的楼层…… —个女人来这家店寻找—个老公。一楼写着:这里的男人有工作。女人看也不看就上了第二层楼～二楼写着:这里的男人有工作而且热爱小孩。女人上了三楼～三楼写着:这里的男人有工作而且热爱小孩～还很帅。哇:她叹道～但仍强迫自己往上爬。四楼:这里的男人有工作而且热爱小孩。令人窒息的帅～还会帮忙做家务。哇:饶了我吧:女人叫道～我快站不住脚了:接着她仍然爬上了五楼。五楼:这里的男人有工作而且热爱小孩～令人窒息的帅～还会帮忙做家务～更有着强烈的浪漫情怀。女人简直想留在这一层楼～但仍抱着满腹期待走向最高一层。第六楼出现了一面巨大的电子告示板～上面写道:你是这层楼的第123456789位访客～这里不存在任何男人～这层楼的存在只是为了证明女人有多么不可能取悦。谢谢光临…… 不久～一家专营男性婚姻服务的店在街对面开张～经营方式与前者principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line —模—样。第一层的女人长得漂亮。第二层的女人长得漂亮并且有钱……结果～二层以上～第三层至六层的楼层从来没有男人上去过…… 解读:女人的本能是幻想。男人的本能是现实。这就是为什么优秀的剩女永远多于优秀的剩男的原因～也是为什么婚姻里的怨女多过怨男的理由。与其两手空空～还是抓住现有的优点吧～和爱人的优点过日子。 2、关于信任 —个女人有—晚没回家～隔天跟老公说自己睡在—个女性朋友那里～她老公打电话给她最好的1O个朋友～没有—个朋友知道这件事: —个男人有—晚没回家睡～隔天他跟老婆说他睡在—个兄弟那里～她老婆打电话给他最好的10个朋友～有8个好兄弟确定她老公睡在他们家…… 还有2个说:“今天你老公还在我那儿:” 某人把此帖给老婆看～没想到他老婆兴致大发～立刻打电话给他的朋友问他是否在他们那里。结果可想而知～再次论证了上述观点:更离谱的是有一哥们竟然说他在他家喝醉了～正睡着呢～还问他老婆要不要喊他起来接电话, principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line 在挂了电话后～那哥们的电话马上打到他手机上～一接通没等他说话就大喊:在哪呢,快回家吧～你老婆找你呢～我说你在我家喝醉了……回去前别忘了先喝酒……通完话～他看着老婆默默无语…… 解读:我们都听过狼来了的故事。却不知道自己每天都在喊着狼来了。当我们口口声声要求对方的信任时。不要忘了信任的另一面是问心无愧。 3、关于性别 男生用提款卡领钱:把车停在提款机旁～插入提款卡～按入密码～拿钱～取卡和收据。 女生用提款卡领钱:把车停在提款机旁～用后视镜补补妆～把引擎熄火～把钥匙放在皮包里～下车。翻遍皮包找提款卡～插入提款卡～翻遍皮包找那张写有密码的口香糖锡箔纸～按入密码～读屏幕上的指示～花掉两分钟。按取消键～重新输入正确的密码～查询账户结余～再读一次屏幕指示～选择提取现金。走进车子～用后视镜补补妆～翻遍皮包找钥匙～发动引擎～开了5米停止。倒车回到ATM～用后视镜补补妆～下车～拿钱、提款卡和收据～上车～用后视镜补补妆～翻遍皮包找个位臵放提款卡。换倒挡～排档～开车。开了十公里后～把手刹放掉。 principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line 解读:看完此文～终于明白为什么上帝要在制造男人后又制造出女人～因为两者的完全不可替代性。所以不要要求男人像女人那样细心体贴吧,就像不要要求女人像男人那样干脆果断。 4、关于改变 热恋的时候～男人抱着女人睡。女人说:你抱得我太紧了～我快窒息了。男人笑着说:喜欢抱着你～否则我睡不着。当他们成为夫妻以后～有一天女人投诉:你晚上睡觉都没抱着我～这和我—个人睡有什么分别,男人说:抱在一起～大家都睡不好～难道你不觉得吗, 某天～男人会突然在闹市中把女人抱起～走长长的一段路。女人笑说:你疯了吗,快把我放下来～让人看到不好。男人说:怕什么,我喜欢抱着你。若干年以后～女人在闹市中向男人撒娇:抱我!男人说:你疯了吗, 某天～女人跟男人说:抱我:男人乖乖弯腰～把女人抱上床。若干年以后～女人跟男人说:抱我上床:男人没好气地说:你脚断了吗, 某天～男人向女人许诺:即使你将来变成—个大肥婆～我也要天天抱你,你变成老太婆～我也继续抱着你。若干年之后～女人胖了～老了～principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line 要男人抱。男人没好气地说:你想压死我吗, 解读:很难相信～当天抱你和若干年之后不抱你的～竟是同—个男人。 5、关于需求 0-5岁:女?妈妈 / 男?妈妈。 6-10岁:女?不是讨厌的男孩子就可以了 / 男?可以陪我欺负女孩子的男孩 11-15岁:女?十五六七八岁的大哥哥 / 男?足球～篮球～网球～乒乓球…… 16-20岁:女?十七八岁大家都称赞的“大帅哥” / 男?女人～女人就可以了: 21-25岁:女?25-29岁的男人～有事业、品位、才华…… / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材的女人 26-30岁:女?仍是坚持要比自己年纪大的男人 / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材的女人 30-40岁:女?心灵契合的好男人 / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材的女人 40-50岁:女?男人 / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材的女人 50-60岁:女?可与她终老的男人 / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line 的女人 70-80岁:女?五六十岁时找到的那个～不需要自己照顾 / 男?20，24岁漂亮又有身材的女人 80-90岁:女?比自己迟死的男人 / 男?虽然我已经老花眼～看不清楚……但是我还是希望是20，24岁…… 总结:男人打从20岁后～对女人的需求就十分专一: 解读:女人～25岁前尽情恋爱。25岁以后就彻底告别爱情梦想吧～与其把梦寄托在男人身上～不如把梦寄托在自己身上～反正～男人从20岁以后就没救了。 principles and policies, political stand, thinking to identify directions, operational orders. (D) strengthening the party construction of party spirit. Spirit is a measure of party positions and the basic principle of the enlightenment. Each party to important life accomplishment, as required, for profound self education, exercise, self improvement and self improvement, thick "background of party membersparty's line, principles and policies play a key political role in implementation. Four-line to firmly establish consciousness. Unswervingly followed the pace of XI Jinping, Secretary, par often awake and active par consciously and resolutely the same courage, par to the CPC Central Committee, General Secretary of the party Constitution and practices series of spirit par, par to the party's theory, line